The maturity threshold - any more not the child, yet not adult
faced problems of teenage age any parent. N. G. Virakhovskaya and A. B. Vershok - psychologists of Lomonosov school tell about approaches to their decision.
Teenage age - a necessary stage in formation of the person, a stage of training of character, formation of the personality. Parents often complain to this period: teenagers are lazy, irresponsible, argue with adults, do not obey, are infantile etc. In turn, teenagers say that “parents often condemn, give not enough confidence in the love“, “adults think what all of them know. They find for us so not enough time and ABSOLUTELY do not know us“. Therefore teenagers become reserved, are afraid of parents. Familiar picture, isn`t that so?the Intersection is expensive to
- choice time
Teenage age - time of creation, understanding of values, search of the place in life. Psychologists of Lomonosov school help teenagers to realize priorities in the list of values: family, children, love, friends, money, work, creativity, health. At psychology lessons children remove formulas of the successful choice. Here formula of success of the pupil of Lomonosov school: the successful choice is the sum of the purposes, resources, time, the desires multiplied by good luck, minus laziness and a “star“ illness. And here other formulation:“ Interest generates volition. Hotenye generates will. Will - force. Sil - the hero. The hero-. The most important - not, how many at you interests or forces. The most important - to want (if to want, then and will turn mountains under yourself)“. Considering features of age - age of dream and an active brainwork - class hours and lessons of psychology at school are conducted in the form of debates. >
it is important to p to help the teenager to construct model of the desirable future - to choose a profession, higher education institution. Such choice motivates. Let`s note that at Lomonosov school in the organization of professionally focused excursions - in banks, on the industrial enterprises - parents actively participate.
in search of the place in collective
Search of is and search of the place in group, in collective. The psychologist`s task in this situation - to help each child to open the talent, not necessarily educational. For example, the child can not shine in study, but to be the emotional leader, i.e. can forgive, accept and lighten mood, and and it also is demanded in collective. This problem on trainings is solved - not educational situation helps to prove to “ordinary“ children. Training allows to know better itself, peers, to understand and estimate them. > to Parents it is important to p to understand
that communication is not a whim, but the most important need of the teenager. Communicating with peers, it can contact as equals, abandon the role of the subordinate, feel the adult.
I the adult when I do everything
the Second problem which is solved by training - independence development. Over this subject fifth-graders work hard. On psychological occupations children organize the time, learn to defend the opinion among peers. Let`s note that such trainings are provided only at Lomonosov school. Their programs are created according to requirements of a concrete class.to
To education of independence directed also the project work at school. Children choose subjects of projects and reports at conferences. Everyone does the project “to liking“: the programmer writes the program, future journalist - the book about Tyutchev and Fet. When it is interesting to the child, it does not need to be “adjusted“. It also raises the status of the child in a class and does his study more comfortable. Often children do not want to study because to them it is uncomfortable in a class. > to Parents it is important to p to understand
that in high school responsibility for estimates is born not only by school, but also the pupil. Shifting all responsibility for estimates to school, you deprive of the teenager of an opportunity to be responsible for yourself and to study overcoming of difficulties.
the Basis of development of the child - love of parents
the Separate direction in work of school - work with parents. Psychologists and parents build a joint picture, the general vision of the child, his problems and resources. What can parents make for the teenager? In - the first to give it the chance to show independence. In - the second to praise for achievements - educational and not educational, any! All children have them if to look narrowly more attentively. In - the third, and it is a basis for development of the child! - it is necessary to accept the child it what he is. To communicate with it really.
“Parents consider me as the unsuccessful daughter. They do not appreciate my taste, my ability to dance, do not appreciate even that I love them“. Parents often see only estimates, without seeing behind them values of higher order. But if your child does not succeed in school - it does not mean that he is not successful in life.
In problem families parents stack the child in the Procrustean bed of the hopes. For example, the child - the humanist struggles about mathematics literally desperately, tries, but all the same there is “three“. And parents pronounce a sentence:“ you are not fit for anything“. Especially it concerns successful parents - they lay too many hopes, demand too much, do not wish to see real opportunities of the child. In high school parents predetermine the choice of the child: “What theatrical? You will be a businessman as I. Unless the theater is a profession?“. As a result children really suffer.
Accept the child it what it is, and you will give it a source of forces for development. The most terrible for the teenager at this age - to be rejected by you. You do not hurry to put on it a label “idler“. Actually laziness is the whole complex of problems, in each case different. It can be a consequence of overloads, self-defense of an organism.to
to Development of mutual understanding between parents and children are promoted by games which are held by psychological service of Lomonosov school. Following the results of games parents speak:“ I understood how it is important to look at the world children`s eyes “, “ I saw that we are very necessary to our children“.
Between parents and children does not have an abyss
At psychology lessons experts the child, the parent - 3 states which are in each person say that the adult. The adult - the realist who is responsible for himself. The child - the person spontaneous. The parent - the person caring for others.
Having recognized the child, his features, parents will be able to come into contact with the teenager and not to be afraid that they will not be able to solve problems. School - their reliable assistant.
the Open Day at Lomonosov school for parents of pupils 5 - 11 - x classes will take place on March 25 from 11 to 15 o`clock. We invite parents with children.
Detailed information on school on the website www. lomon. ru.