Algorithm of success of
of He it is worth puzzling over how to program the child on success. Equally how to look for for this purpose special ways and techniques. Our task - to support the program which was initially put in it by the nature.
What is vital success? It is success in achievement of the objectives, public recognition; good results in study and work. Both that, and another, and the third is available for children much. All early childhood of the child is a continuous success. For some few years from a tiny being it turns into the cheerful personality whom to everything there is a business. He successfully learns to sit, go, tell, defend the position, to try to obtain what considers for itself important, and, besides, as if between times, effortlessly, creates the concept of a peace arrangement and defines the, not last place in it. The kid initially has everything that is necessary. There is a desire (I want!), belief (I can!) and persistence (I will achieve!) that is all components of success. The only difference between our successful undertakings and nurseries only in that also consists that children (“successful I am a person or not“) do not think of such categories of. They just do what should be done, - and at them everything turns out as if by itself.you do not tell
Of course, it is impossible to do without bans. But at the same time it is necessary to think properly: that, when and why to forbid.
Come to any playground where with enthusiasm peanuts work, - you will have heard plenty of it!
- Sasha, you where got?!
- Nikita, immediately give, it is not your toy!
- Leave in a minute, I to whom told!
- Alice, do not soil the handle!
- Vanechka, is impossible!
- Mashenka, do not touch!
Parents strenuously watch wellbeing of children. And meanwhile “no“ it is not so harmless.
the Child is torn to investigate the world. And parents run behind and intimidate. And it is fine at the responsible moments, and is more often - on a habit, just in case and for the tranquility. Children have a natural mechanism which is called “a self-preservation instinct“. With time and with experience it has to be perfected... if you do not prevent.
Here the kid turns on the edge of a sofa, it still not really - that acquired what is “edge“ and as it - to fall and be knocked. “It is impossible!“ - mother shouts and catches the kid trying to get down. And it is possible differently. It is possible to tell: “Edge. Carefully. Make so...“ - and to show it as it is necessary to go down from a sofa on a floor. The peanut ran and stumbled about a chair - to help to rise, regret and - to be glad: now he gained valuable experience, “as it is necessary to run“ and “as it is necessary to fall“. > it is difficult for p to present to
, for example, the dog who is not letting out the puppies from “nest“ - a box or the box in which they grew up. Or puppies who run, holding a mother`s tail. Mother - a dog will never begin to do what he also will perfectly cope with for a puppy. Any normal animal controls the children, but never without emergency stops their attempt to investigate the world and does not prevent to gain experience. It will come to the rescue not when danger dreams to it and when it is really necessary. And our excessive guardianship and bans undermine a children`s initiative on a root. And at the same time also spoil our relations with the child. Endlessly the straightened-out child begins to think that the world is an enemy from whom any minute it is necessary to wait for a dirty trick. And it is better to hold a mother`s skirt (or father`s trousers) - so, just in case. Further options of succession of events two. Or this “continence“ turns into a habit - and at the growing-up person problems begin. Infantilism, for example. About what vital success then can there be a speech?! Or the child becomes “hooligan“. Ignores bans and cautions. Does not allow parental hyper guardianship “to absorb“ itself. Wants to develop as the independent personality and to investigate the world. The grown-up kids intentionally do everything in defiance. Us, adults, bring up. On the of manners, of course. But then the feeling of success in a children`s head contacts not success in some business, and a victory over parents (and over those who forbid).do not force down
from the purpose
the Little girl of years of three with concentration potters about a sandbox. It does an oasis in the desert - “landed“ in sand of a branch and now diligently waters them.
Mother slams the book, hasty rises and calls:
- Wriggling! Home!
- Mummy, still slightly - slightly, - Yulya begs.
U it important issue. And the baby needs to complete it - up to the end. It is very important for the successful person: to realize the plan, but not to throw conceived halfway. But... “What affairs at them! - the typical adult will think, - so, toys - trifles. Here at me the carpet is not cleaned... oil in the carburetor should be changed...“
Strange habit: to consider the affairs important, and nurseries do not. And it is quite good to remember that game for the child - not a trifle. Game, especially role, - model of the vital relations, the real training if you want. Also it is as real, as for us - adult vital cares.
Well you will think, did not take by the cement truck on building! Or the kulichik did not wear out! And the child has a dilemma. To obey mother or to complete what is begun. Sharply tearing off the child from game, we do not allow it to finish conceived till the logical end, to feel satisfaction from well performed work. Today threw, tomorrow left unfinished... quite possibly, it will pass into a habit: began - threw. Besides we show the disrespect both for the kid, and for his occupations (that for children, in fact, same). Of course, it is impossible from - for the child to throw all affairs and to be guided only by his game passion. Warn in advance:“ Yulya, in five minutes we leave... “And if very much it is necessary to take away the child immediately, apologize, console the kid, solve (with him!) when it will be possible to continue the begun business.
to Set the purpose and her children will reach to study in school days. But this ability at the earliest age is put.
to Lift a self-assessment
of Years to two the child`s self-assessment is always high - he very much loves himself. By three years the picture changes a little. He begins to estimate himself, relying on parental opinion. That is to treat itself as you treat it. Your appreciation will help it to believe in itself and the forces even then when expectations when it “is not lucky“ when mood worse than ever when “they are called and laugh“ do not come true. Already in kindergarten and furthermore in initial classes own self-assessment of the child will depend directly on others, it will “float“, to rise, to fall depending on that others think of it and what place in collective he takes. And your respect for his personality in preschool years very much and very much will help it then. It is difficult to learn to appreciate and respect himself (and the work) when the closest and expensive do not respect.to Support by
a high self-assessment does not mean constantly to praise. It means to be respectful to affairs and cares, requirements and interests of the kid. Surely it is necessary to remember that such relation has to be mutual. You respect him. He respects you.by
In America made interesting experiment during which the size of creative potential at people of different age - adults and children became clear. Survey was conducted to determine the size of creativity which is used when performing various test tasks. It became clear that school students of elementary grades use the creative potential for 50 - 70%, students - percent on 30 - 50, and adults - for only 20%. And here preschool children - even for 95%! So, perhaps, our main objective - to bring up the child so (and to treat him so), not to turn him into the average standard.
to Remain the optimist
Small children are optimists all to one. Most of adults - pessimists. At what moment there is such sad metamorphosis?
U of everyone in life failures and disappointments happen. But they discourage one, and there are no others-. Very important since the childhood to develop the correct relation to vital difficulties at the child. Children are not able to look forward, and what occurs now, is the most important for them. When something is impossible to the child - calm also to a posochuvstvovuyta to him. Explain that desperate situations do not happen and the solution will always be found if properly to look.Many kids do not want to do to
something just because are afraid: and suddenly it will not turn out. They are afraid to fall in your eyes, to create what will not be approved by mother and the father.Show
to the child what not to be able to do something - normally because all once something were not able. It is just necessary to study patiently. And it is not terrible to be mistaken, each person (and you, the kid) can make a mistake; the main thing - can be corrected (and I will show how I will help you, the kid). Useful training which develops (and fixes) in the young person and self-confidence and the forces, desire to do (and it is good to do), and - optimism.
Optimism is a vigorous, cheerful feeling at which the person in everything is able to see the light parties. He knows that in the world the positive beginning, good and therefore believes in himself, in bright future, in success dominates. Quite so, positively small children perceive this world, also treat it and themselves. So each child is initially ready for success. Our task - not to allow it to lose this valuable quality.