Rus Articles Journal

I was tired to be mother of

Each woman dreams to become a mother and draws the future in the most iridescent tones, without thinking of those problems which will be inevitably brought by motherhood. One of main is a fatigue: both physical, and psychological. But all - it is possible to cope with them, without doing psychological harm to the kid.

Lost dreams of motherhood

As the pregnant woman imagines the future? Here she inclines over a children`s cradle where her dear kid serenely sleeps, dreaming of how he will grow up and, of course, will practise music. And still figure skating. And to study at art school...

Alas, the reality, as always, not absolutely coincides with dream. Actually with the child`s birth life changes cardinally and irrevocably. From now on you correlate each step to needs of the little man. You are absolutely exhausted both physically, and morally, and two things can be a consequence of constant fatigue: aggression and apathy. Sometimes they exist in parallel, serially replacing each other.

Maternal aggression

at us cannot somehow be spoken to

About this party of motherhood. However it does not mean that the similar phenomenon does not exist. The parents who went mad from children`s crying sometimes absolutely cease to control themselves, they are ready to make anything if only the child became silent. And, unfortunately, do. In pediatrics there is even a concept “trauma from concussion“. The child can get such trauma if with a force to shake him in a rage rush. Consequences are sad: among them dyslexia, syndrome of deficiency of attention, delay of intellectual development and even death.

It appears p, it is impossible to take everything under strict parental control and to place in a rigid framework of “the correct behavior“. Then - that the parent also feels the helplessness, and as a result - he is covered by anger, irritation, rage. But how to cope with the constant internal tension and alarm? How not to allow aggression in relation to the child?

we Look for a compromise

Having calmed down, try to analyse the state. One is obvious: you really very much were tired and you need rest. Try to organize so a day regimen that in it there was though some place for your personal time. If the kid is more than three years old, it is possible to try to agree with him that at some point you should be alone, and then you will surely return to him. The child can quite understand that each person - both big, and small - has to have time for himself, the internal space which nobody can break. Gradually at the kid the feeling of respect for your occupations and your time is developed. Besides, on your example he learns to put into words that happens to it that he feels at present, so, will be able easily to tell you and about the experiences. From the point of view of psychology this very important ability - not to exhaust the feelings deep into, and to be able to share them with the understanding, close people.

What to do when there is a wish to do nothing

Other party of fatigue. Probably, there is no person to whom this feeling is not familiar. The word “apathy“ in translation from Greek means “nonchalance“, this condition of emotional passivity, indifference, indifference to events of surrounding reality. But apathy of young mother is complicated by the fact that she bears responsibility not only for herself, but also for the child. It it is necessary to feed, put to bed, be engaged with it in different useful things, and there is already no force left on anything.

“I will be the best mother!“

In psychology the concept “honors pupil`s complex“ is. It is considered that this complex is characteristic for succeeding business - the lady, however the passion to perfectionism occurs also at the young mothers who devoted itself to education of the child.

Believe

that it is even possible to be tired of the beloved child!“ It is impossible to be tired of the one whom you love“ are beautiful words and no more than that. Just those who constantly worry about the child seek to give it as much as possible, settle emotional resources quicker, than parents who not too strongly think of lofty matters.

Early development will not escape anywhere, and, perhaps, it is much more than advantage and mother, and the kid will be brought by walk on park or the week of idleness which is not saddened by a remorse.

Think, there will always be mothers who will be engaged in development of the child more, than you. There will be also others - what will be done much less yours. Is it worth looking back constantly at those and at others?

What to do?

Who can help

with this situation?

What to do?