About what pity cries?
you like to feel sorry for yourself? And the friends, children, parents, husband? Yes? Then I am forced to upset you: you spoil to yourself life, take away from yourself and others forces, time, energy. Why? Because pity is a shortcoming. A splinter which prevents to live with pleasure. It is possible to suffer - that it, only all the time something yes disturbs.Than pity is bad
- She does not allow to look at a situation objectively. also all does not give. You are in a situation and feel sorry for yourself, are sorry. Not only that you touch old communications, memoirs, offenses, situations as a pack, so you also share the compassionate opening with others. (“As to me with it it was good, and it, a reptile...“, “At that time was, and we were able to afford, and now...“ ) It in general crime! A crime against favourite! Why? Because you spend the precious energy given you for activity (taken, collected, received), for empty things. That is you at the same time create nothing concrete, do not receive result, do not gain experience. As a result you appear at an empty trough.
- Pity is not creative.
With its help cannot create anything. That to check it, try minutes of pity to yourself, or at those moments when to you someone complains, to talk about a solution which caused this pity. Nothing at you will turn out. You will be able hardly to refuse to enjoy to yourself pleasure in pity. And the complainant will take offense at you, having called “ruthless“, will be developed and will leave, having offended in the best feelings.Second experiment. Such minutes begin to create something, to develop, solve. You feel with what work it is given? That is the same.
And further - that?
Here at us two exits.
First. Can throw everything and to enjoy pity to itself: to reach depths, to cry at ease, narydatsya, nastonatsya and as one my reader speaks: “To make a start from a bottom and to emerge for bright and cheerful life!“
Second. to do Something. To hammer the day to the full that there is no time left for pity just. However, there is a high probability that a little later than you will be covered still by a big wave, is proud called by the DEPRESSION!
By and large, the depression is that other as pity to. It is not necessary to throw in me stones. I will prove it now. Present the depression. Presented? What thoughts wander in your ingenious head? What images? You look forward or touch the photos which are mentally rubbed from time? You want that you took out from this state? It is unlikely. Perhaps, you also declare it. But, most likely, with pride and grief you say that it “my cross and I should bear it all life“. Well, or something like it, same pathetic, touching.
It is unimportant how that state in which you kindly stay is called, rolling in the most compassionate feelings to itself. Important HOW from it to come out the winner. And for this purpose it makes sense to ask itself questions, to look for the true reason of a depression.
- , Why to me this state?
- What good I receive from it? (my favourite question:))))) If I am afraid of
- (99% that the pity reason to - fear!), what?
- What to change because what I stay in this state?
- is Helped by it to me? (If an affirmative answer, throw everything and steep in pity. But only for a while:))))
As soon as questions take a turn: “What can I make?“ means there comes the second phase - constructive. Means, you on the way “to recovery“ :))) It is necessary to formulate accurately the plan and to begin to work. Only do not put off. And - that who knows again will tighten you to the abyss. whetherEnded with
in principle a good sign is the ringing voice at conversation with you. This criterion was stated by my friend who periodically treats me rather rigidly, but is effective: “And on a fig you tell all this to me?“. When the deep melancholy rolls on me, I call also by the voice which is tearing apart soul (probably, only the soul:))))), I begin to talk a nonsense about two small children, kopeks, circumstances. Yes you never know reasons for pity! Also I receive in reply sobering: “How you think WHY to me to listen to you?“ :)))
One more good criterion. Means, you said goodbye to pity.Finally
I Will tell