Rus Articles Journal

At any cost

Fall, everything take its course, the city, people. Here only the thought driving into frenzy: “My God! I so want the child!“ And time goes, and only again disappointment... Analyses, inspection, no, the truth is better.

Solar morning, in the city rush hour - and only for me time, apparently, stopped. The public telephone, the dialed number and mine the voice deafening all inside:
- Mummy, at me will not be children, all confirmed analyses.
- Hallo, the daughter, where you? What happened?

I again hospital, analyses and the thought which turned into a prayer:“ My God, well please, I want the daughter, I can do everything“.

December, soon my birthday. Laboratory, test for pregnancy. The list handing over in the magazine lasts a chain, and result opposite - is “negative“. And, at the end of the list at someone is “positive“, well and it was lucky someone. Cannot be, My God and same I! Happiness? No, this some joyful madness. I will be a MOTHER, at any cost.

Pregnancy 4 weeks, threat of an abortion. Washing Malyutochk keep, we can do everything...

Pregnancy of 12 weeks, threat of an abortion. My God, I practically do not move also what is it, no, my lapushka, we need to grow.

Pregnancy of 18 weeks, and words of the doctor as sentence: “Your life under the threat, heart disease and low pressure“. And the thought knocking in temples: “My God, when this nightmare will come to an end?“

of 20 weeks, 24 - I cannot listen more that I can lose you, my bittock, still slightly - slightly grow up, please.

of 7,5 months. And again uncertainty, night, cold, ambulance. My God, everything will be good, the truth? Maternity hospital, doctors, premature birth. And here it, happiness moment - words of the midwife: “You have a girl“. And tears, or rather sobbing: “My God, thanks“. And uncomprehending face of the midwife: “It was necessary to cry while gave birth, and now it is necessary to rejoice“.

Yes, now everything will be good

, my malyutochka. Here only why you are not brought on feeding?

I again expectation and the words of the doctor sounding as a sentence: “Lungs do not work, warm activity is broken“. And the shout inside muffling pain: “You cannot take away it, My God, you already gave it to me!“

4 days. I will be able to see you, my Annushka. To me allowed to come into children`s office. My God and you are a beauty, kuklenochek mine.

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7. I come back from maternity hospital one, you were transferred to intensive care unit for premature. My treasure is flour - to be in the distance from you.

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8, 9, 10, 11 - the whole days turned in one day of expectation. Morning - a jar of the decanted milk, words of the doctor - critical condition and peeping in a window of chamber: how you there, my treasure?

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12. We together, let in hospital, but you nearby, I will give to nobody you, my lassie.

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13, 15, 24 - to us only to gain weight, still slightly - slightly and a treasured mark of 2500, then you will be written out.

My God, at last we houses. Here it is your bed, a carriage... Now we will be together, everything will be good, the truth? You are such tiny, weak and defenseless, but it nothing, the main thing that we now together, and I can do everything for the sake of you, I will raise you, and I will be your mother at any cost. If something it is strong to p to want

, there can be a miracle. And then even impossible becomes possible. I thank God for this miracle, a miracle to be mother!