Facts of life or my communication with doctors. The first and third pregnancy of
the First pregnancyI Will begin
with my first acquaintance to my doctor from the maternity welfare unit (MWU). It occurred even in my very first pregnancy. Then I was only 21 years old (to my future husband as much), I studied on 4 - ohm a course of University.
One fine day I find 2 stripes. Remarkably. Rather early of course, but anybody not against. Farther the wedding, is a lot of nerves during dispute with parents apropos how it has to be, as a result “who pays, that also orders music“ and from where students have money? But everything passed successfully, a wedding behind, passions ceased, pregnancy proceeds remarkably.
I here, somehow I find blood, slightly in the morning, but... Term at that time was weeks 9. I am frightened, urgently I run in student`s policlinic where the gynecologist says to me that it not to her, and in ZhK at the place of residence. Also writes some piece of paper about the beginning abortion. I guessed then and deciphered that there is written. We live with the husband`s parents, in other area and I get to ZhK only in a week.
Having stayed quite big turn, I get to an office. In an office the doctor and the nurse, about one age, around 45 - 55 years sit. I pass, I sit down, I tell in what a problem, I am sent to a chair. A door in an office glass, corrugated, but all the same transparent. A chair for an undressing about a door, neither the chair, nor at a door has no screen. And with a naked bottom (which it is well visible in a corridor), barefoot you stamp through all office on a chair. I understand that there is nobody to hesitate there, all in identical situation, but is all the same somehow humiliating.the Doctor sends to
me for ultrasonography. We with the husband stamp on ultrasonography to the hospital town. All this time I some prishiblenny, suppressed. On ultrasonography the doctor suddenly says that he does not see an embryo. Asks again date of the last monthly, for certain thinks that I was mistaken, and the second ultrasonography in a week suggests to take place, suddenly the kid will seem. In the diagnosis “anembrioniya“ questionable writes. I already begin to guess that everything goes not as it is necessary, but the hope still remains.At that time I knew
about pregnancy few as it has to proceed what problems can be, did not read anything on the Internet. I begin panic. I come to the doctor again. I show results of ultrasonography. She nods unclear to what fills some piece of paper. I will never forget the following words. I continue to sit in an office, and between the doctor and the sister there is the following dialogue.page
- Well what, we will get the prenatal record?
- And why, all the same it has no pregnancy!
of no pregnancy“? Here I sit! And in me my child! What right and who let you speak that my child is absent! But I it told nothing, could not. I just ran out from an office. And after I was told: “You then tell us what there at you...“ .
I Run out to the husband, on cheeks tears are shed, I can tell nothing... After a while I explain to him that I was told that I have no child. It calms as can, his parents calm. Long expectation of ultrasonography in a week begins. Every moment I ask the kid to seem on ultrasonography. Next day after visit of ZhK bleeding amplifies. I hope even more that everything will be good, I wait for ultrasonography.
the Following notch (it was day off), having changed two night laying in 3 hours, I ask to allocate for the husband me in hospital. I hope even more desperately, than earlier. I can think only of the kid. Let to it even 2 months, but me already love it and I wait. In hospital plainly I can tell nothing, I pay, I show results of ultrasonography, I say that I was told in ZhK. And the kind doctor on duty could calm me.
- Well what you cry? Nothing definitely yet is known, you were not on the second ultrasonography. And if the child is, then you to him can badly make. The neck at you is closed so not everything is so sad.
It really calmed me. To me appointed the keeping therapy at once. In chamber I am silent, just I lie. There pass several hours the stomach, as begins to hurt at monthly. I suffer. Pain amplifies. Girls in chamber begin to talk about abortions, how the stomach hurts at this time. About myself I think: “I have all not so, I will have no abortion, I cannot lose my child“.
Hurts stronger and fights. “No, it is not an abortion, not an abortion!!!“ . I deny everything and I continue to hope. Went hour 4 from the moment of receipt to hospital. Hurts. I decide to go to the doctor, I get up... and here I feel that something left me. Silently I go to a toilet, I look... fetal egg... accurately I turn and I bring to the doctor... Then we go for cleaning.is not present
of Words, there are no more tears even. There is nothing, and I so wanted that was... The doctor, seeing my state, suggests to show me egg interiors. He says that the child there was not for a long time. That on early terms there was some failure, and there was a regress. It happens. The nature sometimes is mistaken, and itself corrects the errors. Here nobody is guilty. You will have so many children how many you will want.At that time me it seemed to
not especially consolatory, but it appeared the rights. Hardly I could sustain an interval of half a year before trying again. And finally I calmed down, only when my first kid was born. We then lived at my parents, according to ZhK there was another. I already wrote about it.the Third pregnancy this
I happened to
again. Again two stripes which overturn habitual life upside down. Each following pregnancy, after that unsuccessful, I began with paid ultrasonography on the term of 7 weeks to make sure that everything is normal, the embryo is, and only then went to ZhK. Now I knew
much about pregnancy. I could become easily an obstetrician - the gynecologist, using the Internet. I joke, of course, but about the state and about the child whom I carried, I knew everything. Sometimes, there is even too much. But there passed time of understanding and acceptance of a new situation (“as I decided on the second!?“ ), time to go to consultation also came.
By this moment we three together lived in the apartment of parents of the husband. Means, I was waited by that ZhK, and the choice any was not. We have no money for the personal doctor. As I did not want to go there as I hoped that during this time there a lot of things will change that there will be there no THAT which I will never forget. 3 years passed nevertheless. Alas, the same glass door, the same nurse and the doctor with a pious expression. I never saw smiles on her face, and corners of lips are always discontentedly lowered down. Well, how such can work with pregnant women? Well, you do not like work, find another why to someone to revenge for the life?They me, of course, do not remember
, but I remember them as though it was yesterday. What trust between the doctor and the patient can be if to one all the same, and another quietly hates? It was possible to ask, of course, to other doctor, but they are all girlfriends there, I do not think that the attitude towards me would be better.
Decided to wait for an occasion for now, as well as everything, to make tests. It appeared hardly too. Visits at the beginning of pregnancy in 3 - 4 weeks. Somehow the nurse appoints to me a tank. crops on the following appearance, I come by 8 in the morning, the doctor appears about 8. 20, begins to accept in 8. 30. It has already a line of 8 people. She asks: “Who on a tank. crops?“, three raise hands.“ And that you came everything, I have only one test tube. So, you - come“, - she sticks to the girl who is sitting next to me. It was necessary to come in 7 next time. 30 to make this test. And does not concern her that at my place the small child (to the son then 2 - x years were not), and him there is nobody to leave. Few times I had to take it with myself.Same
and with talonchik on ultrasonography. Their limited quantity and that to receive it, the first needs to come, and received that not from the first. The attitude towards pregnant women at the doctor in general peculiar. Whether feeling of envy, whether some personal hostility, any indulgence. In 18 weeks sends me to the analysis (literally).
- You have to make the test on ugliness of a fruit.
- Not I answer ugliness, and possible pathology of development,-.
- Clever, perhaps?
I Am silent. According to her my child is simply obliged to be a freak. All right, I already know a lot of things since one child is. And what that who for the first time in such situation, and entirely trusts the doctor? I begin to be angry and when I am angry, I become surer and energetic, than in a usual state.in general very obedient, and me something is difficult to make
Ya not as speak, or to ask a question superfluous, or to ask that explained once again. This feeling - as at school before the teacher. You it seems also do not agree, but do as told, and do not object. To be silent and to carry out silently. But here touched my child, called my child the freak, I will show you the freak. And from this point I understood that I can be also another. I can stand for myself and the family.
Following situation. Pregnancy of 12 weeks, the doctor sends me on experts: the oculist, the ENT SPECIALIST, the stomatologist, the therapist in ZhK, just the therapist, and someone else. I ask a simple question: “What for?“. Answer:“ It is necessary“. In the first pregnancy there was not enough mind to ask it, just descended also all. At all points I have a full order, time passed not so much. On hands at me the kid and to get again to all these doctors, it is necessary for me through all city with the child to go to policlinic in the place of a registration. There is no wish, I wait when again asks, I passed or not.
- You to doctors descended?
- Yes, to the therapist in ZhK.
- And to the others?
- And what for?
- Is necessary.
- For what needs it?
(The doctor begins to begin to boil slowly, even raised the head on me.)
- In order that if problems to make abortion till 12 weeks!!!
(Me our dialogue begins to amuse.)
- Hm! And not late already?
(Evil look in reply.)
- What, absolutely now you will not go?
- Well, I do not know...
after that I understood that seriously it is impossible to treat ZhK. Well, she could explain at once properly, and that “is necessary“. And it became so easy for me at heart. Do not take offense at fools. And now I waited for each my campaign in ZhK with ironical curiosity. Also waited.
After 30 weeks of all pregnant women in ZhK is sent for preparation for childbirth and physiotherapy exercises in the same place. I did not become an exception. Write out to me two pieces of paper. I as always with questions:
- Classes in what?
- What means why?
- Classes in what subject?
- On childbirth, of course.
(At me by the red handle on the card it is written - planned Caesarian , she wrote.)
- Hm! I am aware already of this process and Caesarian at me, it seems a little...
- Painfully clever you (probably all pregnant women) became, doctors know not everything, but all of them... And you will go to LFK?
(Progress, it already begins to ask me, but not to claim.)
- Well, you understand, I with the kid walk 2 times a day for 1,5 hours.
- It you breathe air, and it is another.
it would Try “to breathe“ so with the two-year-old on the sledge in the winter, and still there are also hills. And in general, I with my hem should be accurater, not to LFK. My refusal was apprehended as a personal insult.
Still somehow, weeks 35 already was when I complained that it is difficult for me to come to ZhK once again. I was answered that it was not necessary to give birth to the second, time I cannot. It as for communication.so all analyses and inspections I handed over
A in time, even passed then the stomatologist and the oculist. Was, of course, and unpleasant. Early toxicosis. Hypostases last weeks. You knew that hypostases happen not only standing, but also on a stomach? At me standing absolutely slightly - slightly, but on a stomach...
For the entire period of pregnancy I had a slight cold (without temperature) five times. Terribly worried about it. It was impossible to lift immunity in any way. There were locks. For the first time in life learned what is the milkwoman. From 30 weeks small waves, that is a uterus tone began. Began to be tired of homework, and the help from the husband any. As a result I get on preservation to maternity hospital in OPP (office of pathology of pregnancy) on the 32nd week with the diagnosis “small activity of a uterus“ and suspicion on diabetes. The suspicion was not confirmed, and I rested in bed there in 2 days. All rest of the time, 12 days, it was torn home.to
Hurrah! to me was lucky Office of pathology of pregnancy with the doctor again! The doctor conducting our chamber it appeared, replaces someone, it from other gynecology. Respectively, and the relation special to “foreign“ patients. And she worked exactly so much how many I have pins and needles. It is very similar to the doctor from ZhK. Perhaps they are stamped somewhere? Only this more rough.Governed
in maternity hospital (not important, OPB this, patrimonial or postnatal office) very peculiar. Nobody tells anything to anybody. It concerns medical staff. All information is transferred between patients, from those who there long ago, to newcomers. Therefore in 2 weeks I already became an old resident in chamber since many left to give birth very quickly.
I during this time the doctor could not remember my surname, or even to compare it with a bed arrangement. At a request for an extract, it, holding my card in hand, “ran“ over other girl, with absolutely other diagnosis and which remained at it within these 2 weeks too.
the Doctor could come with round in 8. 30 h, and could in 12 h though all other doctors came with 9 to 10. And we were obliged to wait for it in chamber in full strength. And if who was not, for example, newcomers left on inspections 9 h since there was a “live“ turn, then got to us that was not told to wait for round. Or on the contrary, why without results wait for it when they are so necessary for it. And all this often was followed by the phrase that to us to spit on our children. And intimidation was the main method. “If you do not make something (or you will make), then to your child...“. It is necessary to substitute something bad further.
A somehow we got it hot again for the fact that we in chamber did not have leaflets that she could write out the direction. And we listened to long lecture on a subject that doctors buy everything on the money. Those who on preservation, she did not write out exactly 2 weeks as it is necessary to avoid trouble with newcomers. And again I heard the familiar phrase: “Not, why was the second to give birth if you cannot!“ - in response to my request to write out a bit earlier since I have a kid of the house.
But also these long weeks ended, wrote out me, and the small respite (3 weeks) for finding of composure and forces before communication with doctors of maternity hospital came. Nurses, not all of course, but generally were the only people in maternity hospital. I am very grateful to them for the human relation and understanding.I do not claim
Ya that all doctors same, as well as with what I was brought together by destiny. At all not. I still treat doctors (unfamiliar) with trust. I even allow, as my doctors helped, perhaps, much. Just like that it developed at me. And I is grateful to them for the fact that at least did not do much harm.
As I decided on the second