There are no
tired with happiness If the obvious and serious reasons for a gap, then psychologists speak about “fatigue of the relations“. And this fatigue which many consider as one of the first signs of deterioration in the relations actually demonstrates that process of cooling came already quite far. And this state, strangely enough, is result not of the conflicts between lovers, and their prime cause. The feeling of fatigue in the relations can be shown also at loving couples when the novel dragged on and began to revolve, and at spouses (it is especially frequent in a civil marriage). The program of love put in us by the nature does not maintain an overload, does not wish “to stretch“ for that long time that separates the acquaintance moment from a wedding ceremony. It is possible to compare the love union to the living being who arose as a result of proximity of two people. He endures the same stages - from infancy to extreme old age. But can wither in the prime of life from an indisposition and bad leaving. The relations have to develop, raise, bear some fruits, otherwise they are doomed to fading .
the Best way of protection
Very few people decide to admit honestly once to darling that it is frankly thrown out as superfluous therefore the fault for the disappointed hopes is tried to be transferred to it. To stop loving and throw, at first it is necessary to accuse and be disappointed. Here also notorious “fatigue“ - a peculiar psychological tranquilizer, the means helping to muffle pangs of conscience and memories of all good and light joins that united you and connected. Actually one person internally moves away from another at all not because was tired but because he was already reoriented, made the subconscious decision on a gap. To carry out it in practice, it needs to provide a necessary psychological and emotional state now - here and there is just that condition of “fatigue“... For this reason it is readily got involved in the various conflicts, warms up old quarrels and provokes new.Cure for boredom
how you felt in the first, “honey“ months of the relations, try to revive in yourself these feelings, it is possible even to copy a manner of behavior of the happy person in love. Better own manner, and no more successful, in your opinion, girlfriends. Pleasant memories will help you to return, let for a while, mood of carefree happiness. And the mood - a thing infectious, is instantly transferred to the loved one. Remember: your enemies - routine pastime and monotony. To battle against them, you need a maximum of vital activity, tendency all the time to think out something brand new.
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In what the reason?
As were shown by polls, the fatigue in the relations arises :
do not plunge into constant showdowns, it is equivalent to stay in the locked room when it becomes stuffy. Fresh air, and feelings, even the most cloudless is necessary for us, it is necessary to air periodically. Be not locked within four walls together with the problems.
How to overcome “family fatigue“: 7 useful tips
- of do not turn into homebodies! Change a situation - you visit, invite friends to yourself. Remember places where you willingly spent time at the beginning of your relations together or with the company, - and revive old customs! Expand a circle of your habitual joint entertainments. Visits of cinema, theater, clubs, cafe - ice cream, trips to resorts, on fishing, on the dacha, shish kebabs, on the nature - is unimportant where, the main thing - together and with pleasure.
- do not go in cycles . Follow an example of men - they, plunging into work, are disconnected for a while from personal and family problems even if these problems extremely concern them. Owing to features of her mental device it is more difficult to woman to distract from love sufferings, but at certain efforts of will it is quite feasible. Be engaged in sports, pleasant for you, - swim, run, ride the bicycle, dance. It and is pleasant, and it is useful. Cultivate positive emotions - the witty book or the movie will lighten you mood. And it is necessary to switch - both in light, and during the dark periods of the relations. The person who is carried away by something besides family cares is much more attractive and interesting as the personality.
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Seven signs of fatigue of the relations
If at you even more often arise feeling that:
Means, the fatigue virus already affected your relations and while there is a hope for treatment, it is time to take urgent measures.
- of Have more than sex! Experts claim that couples which seldom have sex, carrying out nights under different blankets not to mention different beds, begin to experience to each other cooling soon enough. And nothing so unites spouses (beloved) as physical proximity, caress and mutual pleasure. Until you are desired each other, it is easy to settle all disagreements. Remember: it is impossible “to punish“ the partner for bad behavior refusal of proximity is an incorrect, dangerous and destructive way!
. “Letters to the stranger“
- of . You do not stint tender views, words and intonations, the main thing - to know when to stop and not to abuse tenderness, even the most refined desserts become boring if to eat them all day long. Has to be li>
- in the woman... You remember the well-known quote from “Pokrovsk gate“: “Ah, I all such unpredictable, inconsistent all?“ Very valuable quality in the woman if, of course, her unpredictability is not beyond accepted (each couple defines this framework for itself, there are no general rules here). From time to time slightly change image, style, a behavior manner. In each woman gift of the actress is by nature put - here and use it for the good. Become
- soul of your small company . It is possible to prolong “feeling of freshness“ in the relations if you try to concentrate in talk with darling on positive moments of life. The best way - is more often to tell something kind, amusing, witty. Evening with you at it will be associated with smiles and good mood and what can be more attractive than positive emotions?
| of Svetlana, 28 years : “We are married |
4 years. For the last year the relations sharply changed we quarreled often, irritated as if we looked for a reason for the conflicts. There was no wish even to see each other. Then came to a conclusion that were tired and, most likely, we should disperse. Month almost did not see, only occasionally called up. But now we again together, I hope, for a long time. And I am very glad that we overcame this crisis“.
- of do not overestimate a possibility of rest together . Many believe that the best way to update the dying-away feelings is a joint holiday where - nibud at the sea. But it not absolutely so: rest is together good, but only not during crisis. Otherwise the trip can become painful, will turn into series of quarrels which are capable to poison completely to you holiday. Joint travel will bring joy only in case you are able to leave the quarrels at home, having jostled them far away, is similar to the things which served the. And better try to reject for a while old quarrels and start the relations with a clean slate!
| of Tamara, 32 years : |
“On the third year of joint life he became nervous, irritable, wanted to be alone more often, said that he was tired. There were attempts to live separately, he said that it is necessary for it to understand that without me it will not be able. As a result he understood that he can. We suspended relations. There passed one and a half years, I am madly happy with another! And could not even dream of such relations... And I am not sorry about anything!“