Whether the empire of a dream
the Truth that children who sleep in one room with parents grow up more self-assured? Why kids who do not rock to sleep wake up less often at night? The questions which are most concerning parents are answered by the expert of Johnson`s baby, the largest expert in the field of a children`s dream professor Jodi A. Mandell.
Happy parents . Whether there is some most important rule which parents have to carry out to provide to the child a good dream, and themselves, in this regard, happy life?
Jodi A. Mandell . In three months the child has to sleep where parents would like that he slept further. And if to this age you could suit the child for the night in a cradle or in the bed, then by three months it has to be transferred to a crib. Then it will be more difficult to be made. Two months ago I, probably, would advise parents to be free in the choice concerning the place of a dream of the kid. But recently the Association of the American pediatricians recommended that for safety reasons babies slept only in the beds, but not with parents together.
of S. R . A professional advice differs. One recommend suit the newborn in the certain room. Others claim that if the child sleeps with parents to 1,5 years, then he grows up more self-assured and quieter.
of Dzh. A. M . Any researches which would prove one or other theory it was not carried out. It is the choice of parents. Someone wants that the child was closer, someone chooses other behavioural tactics. But main issue: whether the child and parents gets enough sleep?Keep in mind
, the children sleeping in one room with parents wake up at night more often.
C. R . It is awkward even to admit, but personally at me no forces several times in a night were simple to rise to the child. It was necessary to put it together with himself.
of Dzh. A. M . Mother can choose that it is more convenient to her. The main thing - to make sure that the child is in safety. The joint dream cannot lead to any psychological problems at the child further or, on the contrary, bring dividends.
of S. R . What most common causes of problems with falling asleep or prosypaniye at night?
of Dzh. A. M . Frequent awakenings is the main problem of kids about one year at night. The main reason for the fact that children wake up at night is that them never learned to sleep. All children, at any age, wake up from 3 to 6 times in a night. It is normal. Just then they sometimes cannot fall asleep again. Here we allocate two types of behavioural reactions: there are children who can fall asleep. And others give signals to parents and wait for calm from them. Parents just have to understand that it is necessary for their child that he fell asleep again.
of S. R . And how to understand?
of Dzh. A. M . It needs exactly what you do for it when laying in a bed. If the kid cannot fall asleep and requires constantly parental attention, waking up at night, so the problem, most likely, is covered in the organization of ritual of withdrawal to a dream. If you rock to sleep the kid before full falling asleep and put it in a bed already sleeping, it is possible to be sure that the child, having woken up at three o`clock in the morning, will demand a motion sickness before full falling asleep again. The reeducation will take about 2 weeks.
One of the main postulates of a healthy sleep consists that the child needs to be stacked sleepy, but not sleeping. One or two weeks, perhaps, it is necessary to suffer, but in exchange you will ensure also to it a full-fledged night dream. And one more nuance: the child it is necessary to put to bed a bit earlier. Because if to do it late, then by this time he will already manage to be overexcited, and it will be difficult for it to be adjusted on a dream.
I it is natural, the more quietly, the ritual of an otkhozhdeniye to a dream will be more positive, the more quietly he will fall asleep. I think, half an hour of the quiet actions repeating every evening will be helped the kid to be understood that it is time to sleep. Numerous researches showed that children who fall asleep with direct participation of parents in this process sleep one hour less, than children who fall asleep.
of S. R . Strange, and why?
of Dzh. A. M . Imagine that you, the adult, know that as soon as you close eyes and you will fall asleep, right there will take away a pillow from you. You so just will not fall asleep and will worry. The same happens to the kid who knows that as soon as he falls asleep at mother on hands, she will put him in a bed at once and will leave. It is natural that parents who accustom to fall asleep children with the help of a motion sickness face that the kid very much resists and does not want to fill up.
of S. R . And maybe, to parents children because they initially had more unstable nervous system were necessary to rock to sleep?
of Dzh. A. M . I doubt. I ask parents: how you stacked the child since he was born? Also it appears, they did not even think that it is possible to put yet not sleeping kid in a bed. That is it is not a problem of the child who needs mother to rock to sleep him, and a matter of habit. There are children more emotional and temperamental for which we recommend to enter independent falling asleep not from 3 months as usually, and a bit later, from 3 to 6 months. But if kid of 3 - 4 weeks from a sort to put in a bed and to show on something at what he can look, for example at a toy, you will see that after a while he will fall asleep. There is a curious statistics: such children sleep at night much better, than the first. Mother usually has no time that to rock to sleep it and to set the wrong mode of a dream. And it only proves that this is not about any psychological problems and features of the nervous organization of the child.
of S. R . And whether there is no statistics world: in what country children sleep better or worse?
of Dzh. A. M . Nobody carried out such researches. One universal research with the purpose to reveal children with any sleep disorders took place. It showed that 25% of all children in the world have these or those problems. There are also data that the dream, joint with the child, practices in more developed countries much less often. It is also known that teenagers in the USA sleep less, than their age-mates in the world, about 7 hours a day. At them very much occupations at school early begin. Then there are countries of Asia, but there the sleep debt at school students is connected with huge number of occupations at school. Researches on a dream in general a little. It is a pity, there is a lot of features connected at least even with national traditions or some natural factors. For example, in India children often sleep under mosquito grids, various fumigant injectors are widely used there, and very seriously there is a problem with cough at children. In China there is a problem of laying to sleep in those regions where it is not authorized to families to have more than one child. The only child turns into the little emperor, and, subordinating the loving parents to the will, itself decides when to him to go to bed.
of Page P . And improper feeding can interrupt a sleep at the child?
of Dzh. A. M . The allergy to milk can cause problems with a dream. Some parents will see it, giving dairy mix, some - later when begin to offer the grown-up child dairy products, for example yogurts. We in our clinic see very many cases when literally the week diet at children with an allergy to these products led to normalization of a dream.
of S. R .“ Eternal“ question; whether to take the kid on hands every time how he woke up and began to cry? Doctor Spock once advised not to accustom to hands, the child will have a good cry and will fall asleep. What experts from the USA think now?
of Dzh. A. M . I headed research, joint with the American association of a dream, and we came to a conclusion: if to leave the child in a bedroom on all night long and not to react to his crying, it works. But it is very difficult both for children, and for adults.
We profess more gentle approach: independent falling asleep, at the same time parents have to come back to the room and check, whether all as it should be. It is inadmissible to ignore crying of the child because it is unknown, than it is caused. And suddenly the leg got stuck between bed rods?
of S. R . And to take on hands to calm, all - whether correct is a method?
of Dzh. A. M . If it is the small child, I think that yes. But there is also other party of a medal. Small children sleep actively: in a dream they can move, make some sounds. Very often parents, without understanding that, awake the child though he could sleep further. It is not necessary to run to the child on the first peep or rustle, perhaps, he has just active phase of a dream now.
of S. R . And to what term it is necessary to appoint ““moving“ to a big bed?
of Dzh. A. M . From 2,5 to 3 years. Though some parents do it earlier, just because they have the second child. But if to transfer the child too early to a big bed, then there can be sleep disorders. The child till 3 years does not understand that in a bed it is necessary to remain if he does not even see its sides. Parents of two-year-old children often complain of it and ask what to do to them in that case how to convince the kid to remain in a bed. Answer: in any way. It was translated early, and it is better to take a step back and to return to a crib. It reminds transition from pampers to shorts. If you try, both within 2 weeks and nothing is impossible to you, then put on pampers again.
of S. R . Whether the dream on a balcony can be full replacement to walk?
of Dzh. A. M . (is surprised). And what, unless people sleep on a balcony? For what?
of S. R . (are surprised In turn). Fresh air! It promotes that the child gets enough sleep better.
of Dzh. A. M . We do not give the big importance to that the child slept on air. It seems to me, it is unimportant.
of S. R . And from what age children see bad dreams?
of Dzh. A. M . Usually not earlier than 3 years. It is connected with development of a brain and imagination. Nightmares - the phenomenon absolutely normal aged from 3 till 6 years. Their emergence is connected usually with the fact what the child begins to realize that someone or something can do it harm. Nightmares are a part of all that happens in the afternoon and is transformed in imagination of the child.
of S. R . Whether it is right that children adapt to a rhythm of life of parents? Or the fact that they are born “owls“ or “larks“ is put genetically?
of Dzh. A. M . It is unknown. It is very easy to find similarity to someone from relatives, it is frequent in a family there are both “larks“, and “owls“. Therefore there is a thought of heredity, but it is not proved. We only begin to look for a dream gene now.
of S. R . They say that modern children differ from the previous generations. It is reflected in their dream: qualitatively or quantitatively?
of Dzh. A. M . The world strongly changes, but not children. 24 hours a day 7 days a week we can do something: Internet, round-the-clock shops.
of S. R . And the American scientists do not work on creation it tablets? Which could replace to us night of a dream?
of Dzh. A. M . Such tablet will never be.