Rus Articles Journal

Year as...

(history of one virtual acquaintance)

Already year as I got acquainted with my new husband. Or nearly a year as. And all - already or almost? So far as concerns acquaintance on the Internet, it is very difficult to solve what date to take for its beginning: first “message“ or real meeting. However, personally we are inclined to celebrate all dates. For now how everything began.

Small retreat . I know, this text will seem to someone too personal, but you should not accuse me of “striptease“. If it not “your format“, just do not read further. The idea to write it the text arose after numerous questions of dating sites in the Incomplete Family conference. I wanted to show experience of successful acquaintance, without holding back the problems arising on its course. Approval of the husband on such frankness is got, and he read article .

As well as almost in any history of acquaintance “for 30“ everything began

with simple - divorce. It is necessary to tell that parting with the first husband with whom as it seemed to me, we lived in love and a consent of nearly 10 years, a thing quite heavy. Say when there are continuous scandals, reproaches, misunderstanding, divorce, really, can seem simplification, but such experience was not given me. I do not know as a result, it was lucky or it was not lucky me, but at us everything occurred very quickly. Just suddenly he began to come without explanation very late, and in few weeks solved (I even precisely remember date - on October 7, 2004) that will separately live.

This surprise then wounded me in itself (well very difficult to believe that if in revival we discuss what shelves to hang up in a bedroom, then on Tuesday it is possible already to wish to leave). Even more situation was complicated by the fact that I loved the husband, and he left to my friend whom I brought into our house, and then asked to hire to it.

in general, the mood then was awful, I seriously thought of the help of the psychologist. To the last I, however, did not get. Instead, having used that the grandmother took away our daughter for 2 weeks to the sea, I, having described a situation, asked on a visit to one nonresident 7 - Janka. By the way, for me still a riddle as I decided to address with such request to not the most familiar to me to the person moreover and to the pronounced introvert. Anyway, I from this trip already absolutely other person returned what I (and one more her compatriot) very much - am very grateful to this girl for. Still I suspect that without them the situation could develop on where to the worst scenario.

did not have me four days, and during this time my husband managed to rent apartment and to move. In general, running forward, I will tell that we got divorced very peacefully, and essential claims for last year at me to it were formed a little. Of course, it is a pity that we left, but in general he (and conducts) behaved very much - very adequately. However, having come back home from the train at 7 in the morning, I at first came across the huge clubs of dust flying along a corridor, and then found out that it took away the things. The note was not. And here at this moment, standing in a jacket in a corridor, I understood that instead of regretting about lost, I will better construct the life anew. There was it 1 - go November.... it is easier for p to Solve

, than to make. Old contacts I did not have, and new I did not get long ago. But I did not keep the choice, and...

the First acquaintance happened in the subway, and is absolutely casual. On work I had to meet the person, and the station was very loaded, and, having despaired him to find, I began to approach all men of approximately necessary age with a sacramental question: “You not Grigory?“ . Here one of them also reported that he is not Grigory, but Andrey... I left it a phone number (still I do not understand why many are afraid of it) and in the same week went to appointment. Everything was lovely, but, having put me in the subway train, it was not shown any more. I also did not worry, the main thing - process went.

However I cannot tell

that new acquaintances began to appear in my life as often as I wanted. And suitable contacts were not started in any way. And here another 7 - Janka (it is even surprising how it is strong 7 - Yankees influenced all history) advised me to address on the website the Internet - acquaintances. Why it came to its mind, I do not know. As far as I can judge, it was not required to it, probably, an example of the general high creativity. Anyway, having channelized me, further it could not help me. It was necessary to understand a trial and error method.

by

as the base for experiments chose the love resource. rambler. ru/. Later I understood that actually the majority of the websites the Internet - acquaintances address the same general base. Essentially only the website maybe differs in fact. ru (which is pleasant to me an opportunity just to communicate there) and amochka. ru / (which, on the contrary, is not pleasant at all). But here I will write only about Rambler.

Having rummaged on the Internet and having read various councils, at first I just placed the questionnaire with a photo and began to wait for results. Results appeared immediately, but it were not pleasant to me. Everything was obvious not that with anybody there was no wish to correspond. I began to change the questionnaire. The final version of the questionnaire sounded so (I provide the main points).

O to:
Lovely, clever, cheerful. Good interlocutor. Never I am tired to learn new. I prefer to read books from the pocket computer, and to watch film as at home, and at movie theaters . I Want to find
the man who is not afraid of laughter in a bed and clever talk out of it .

I want to find

of Whom:
I Hope to find the clever, cheerful man light on the feet. Surely not having an allergy to cats.:-)

Here there were already people to whom I entered into a long correspondence, but business did not reach appointments. And then I began to look for actively man`s questionnaires and to write. It is necessary to tell, I gave myself the report what I want. I did not look for the new husband, there was a wish for communication and... banal sex, and it is not obligatory at the same time. Searching also made a start from it. It is necessary to tell that there is a lot of interesting man`s questionnaires in base. More true relatively there is a lot of, percent five, but, considering total of people (totally nearly one million for this moment), in absolute values the choice was big. But also work for their search was required rather big. As a result I every day in the morning and sat down at the computer in the evening and stupidly checked hundreds of questionnaires. Who something was pleasant or hooked, wrote, asking some questions, making a start from the placed photos or questionnaires. Almost all answered. With someone correspondence was short, someone called (I continued to give quite easily phone) and we long talked, with someone went to coffee houses or restaurants.

In general all this period at me was characterized by very active communication. By phone, by means of correspondence or personal. Trying to understand these people, I listened (and sometimes initiated) to stories about their childhood, youth, family life. Not less we spoke about various educational institutes, books, the countries, politicians and the relations of men and women in general. I will honestly tell, it was really interesting to me, and I derived pleasure from this talk.

to

Here among all others, sent the letter and to my present husband. It is necessary to tell that it was not simple at all. I provide its questionnaire completely, without notes. The words “from mail“ are part of the questionnaire and with it to correspondence have no relation to ours.

“My name is Alexander. Everything that is noted below, needs comments. I would not begin to explain if not mail which reflects misunderstanding and delusions of those who write me (probably, and those who will not write for the same reasons) .

“... It is unclear, you want only in a bed, or the long relations?“ (from mail) .

And so, the acquaintance purpose is what is admissible in our relations, and at all not that by all means and surely. It concerns equally as the lines “Correspondence“ and “Sex on One - Two Times“. I am ready to what is specified in any combinations: and to friendship and communication, and to love. Yes, about love... I am not surprised to how many girls write that they will meet strictly for love and creation of a family with “real“ and “reliable“ - normal romantic approach .

I consider

Itself - if I write: “I will get acquainted about such - rastaky - is strict for creation of a family, love and so forth“ - it will be only part of the truth. And you know why? When you met the first husband whether you thought that you will leave? When you get acquainted with “vyyunoshy“ whether you can give a guarantee:“ I will marry “or“ will fall in love with 100%“, is not present? Here and I do not give such guarantee to all who read my questionnaire. Such guarantees - that without which it is impossible to live .

I though I believe that there are feelings arising at first sight - all this is rather an exception to the rules, but did not govern. Most likely, it is necessary to communicate with applicants and to choose, choose, choose... So why to me - the normal mature man - to refuse sex on two times or from regular (and it is even better)? Why to me - the sociable person - to refuse correspondence, friendship? Especially as former friends somehow dissipated over time. As they say:“ There are no others, and those far“ .

I Know

only, are not necessary to me: fictitious marriage in any “sauce“, virtual or group sex, and is not interesting, the is more, sex for money, by the way, not from - for greed, and from - for “surrogatnost“ of such “product“. And concerning joint rent of housing if you tell: “It is necessary!“ - means it is necessary, I did not select this item because I am a Muscovite. Concerning my non-russian appearance. I not from the Caucasus, not from mountains etc. - just did not sleep. If a question “whose I am“ and “what nation my erythrocytes“ to you is important - appoint meeting, differently - chur I “in a lodge“, and I do not answer this question .

“... Your self-portrait coincides...... what a pity...... you married...“ (from mail) .

Here and are included in the category of “artificial“, having answered a question: Whether “You consist in official marriage?“ - “Yes, he is married, we live together“. Yes, all quite so, and you wonder: “Why?“. Really, why I dream to find you and I do not call at the same time the marriage - marriage “for the sake of appearances“. Because I married not for the sake of appearances, and my children not “for the sake of appearances“. I very much love the children, and to the wife I have warm feelings, attachment, a habit and a set sometimes of mixed feelings. And in general, it is bad to abuse bad words what once warmed soul, it is simple to tell the language “will not turn“: “It supposedly for the sake of appearances“ When I will divorce - I will write: “No, he is not married“. Only I do not see sense now to postpone the searches. You can be sure - you will not increase amount of the universal evil, having got acquainted with me .

forgot Like nothing, your “course“ now. If I to you was or became interesting, write to me. If you hesitate, as well as I, write one phrase:“ I invite to look at my questionnaire“, and I will answer you, and good luck to us. If you “not my“ girl and already “leave“ - good luck to you doubly!“

the Questionnaire me very much was pleasant to

, but I could not think up to it a question in any way. As a result I wrote: “Oh, and the truth to write?:-) The offered phrase “I invite to look at my questionnaire“ it seems too dry, and your questionnaire is so detailed that even the question for a tie does not manage to be thought up: on everything already otvecheno:-) .

Grant

, I will stop on the fact of the message, having added that I was pleased by warm words about the wife. Something is rare such relation meets recently .

We too very much on - kind left the husband, but most of my acquaintances accuses me of insincerity: what I indulge in wishful thinking. In their opinion, all couples disperse from scandal and hatred in soul“ .

to me was otvecheno: “I tried to describe frankly and as much as possible in detail myself and the situation. Here did not think that it can be the cause for “not tie“: -) (I offer on “you“) .

your acquaintances are mistaken, it is possible to leave friends, or not friends, but yours faithfully, gratitude and without rage, hatred...“ .

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C of it also started our active correspondence. And still good, respect for the former spouses (to the and the partner) - very important component of our relations. There was it on November 24, and of this day I count the term of virtual acquaintance.

Should tell

that from the very beginning I for some reason perceived this contact only as friendly, without any calculations on the novel (in marriage at that time, I will repeat, I did not gather in general for anybody). As a result I risked to appeal to help me to change my questionnaire, to make it more interesting to clever men. And here it was gone. More true in couple of days told that on work a working flat out and then silence. For a week. Much later Sasha to me admitted that business was not only in work, but also just took a time - a miss.

But then awfully grudged

for me: such interesting interlocutor was gone. I was going to write itself (and would write!) but here it appeared again. About the questionnaire did not tell (did not think up), but began to ask on my life in detail. I told, wrote just huge letters. He answered me...

in a week all of us - met. There was it on December 12, the second date - day of real acquaintance. It is simple to get acquainted. It is necessary to tell that though the main idea was to teach me to drink pink martini with cherry juice in half, I did not risk to make an appointment at once at home. As well as with any other, we met at first in the center, took a walk, drank coffee. But then, unlike others, nevertheless went home, having bought on the road of martini. And again talked, talked. Now after a year I is quite sure I can tell that our relations in general were entered on talk. At first written, then internal... Without them nothing would develop.

Talk by talk, but somewhere to the middle of night of martini came to an end and it was necessary to make the decision, I retain it or not. I.e. of course, martini was in general at anything and to leave from me by a taxi any not a problem at any time. But I did not see the reasons to expel. You remember, how in “An ordinary miracle“: “You are attractive, I am devilishly attractive...“ . It is necessary to recognize and now, already almost in a year, I am not sorry about this decision at all. Moreover, come then I to other conclusion, all history could turn absolutely in other party.

However sex in itself was not strength of evening. It is rather on the contrary. So since morning I stayed all in fluctuations, also stopped me and some moments from Sashiny “background“. And here I was helped by council next 7 - the Yankee that the first meeting in general can be not indicative. Besides, I remembered that I saw our further communication as friendly. We continued correspondence, and in several days I already called to take a walk... Generally, this walk ended too at our place. But this time (as well as all the subsequent) I had already no disappointments:-). And this time, and in previous the child of the house was not.

in three days (10 days from the first meeting) I called home to meet the daughter (To Ksenia then was not full 7 years). Sasha and Ksyusha`s relations is my constant pleasure. As they were pleasant each other from the first meeting, and continue to be on friendly terms. So on the same week we with the daughter fed him once again with in common made pies.

I Want to note

separately that these days Sasha always left in the morning before Ksyun wakes up. We did not want to injure it at all or to provide excess food for thought. And for the weekend Ksyusha left to the grandmother, and here to us there was an expanse. Including, on the next Saturday at last the broken table in kitchen was repaired. And not only it. So to our house a persome tool emestitsya. And camera.

A then came on December 30. Then I also did not assume it, but this day our joint life began. Third date. There was everything incidentally. Just I was in theater and asked me, such beautiful to photograph. Sashka met me in the evening. And all. More we did not leave.

When after New Year`s holidays (before return home to my daughter who, as usual, left for New Year`s vacation to the grandmother) the question that he needs to rent apartment rose, I thought... also made the next fatal decision:-). Actually, by that moment it was clear that we practically cannot leave. At what moment purely friendly feelings developed into passion, remained for me a riddle. Anyway, to spend money for the apartment which will stand empty of sense was not and to be afraid every time that the daughter did not catch us, there was no wish. It is necessary to tell that Ksyusha made this decision easily. It is far easier, than I was afraid.

So, on November 26 - on December 12 - on December 30. 34 days. Here and entire period of courting. And through some time, month, probably, or a little more we realized that we live already as the husband and the wife. We assumed the corresponding responsibility for the partner, acquainted with relatives (by the way, my and his daughter very much are on friendly terms), connected the budget and all the rest that distinguishes just lovers from spouses. At least, in my and his soul division happens quite so. And the divorces which happened later, as well as our wedding approaching somewhere in not the closest future any more in it changes nothing. Though, of course, we will celebrate the wedding day too. 4 - y date.