How to accustom the child to an order of
to my son 4 years. It grows at the cheerful and clever boy. With the husband it is pleasant to us to watch him when it plays with machines, designers, soft toys. In a word, we cannot rejoice, looking at Mitya, about that minute, we do not ask it to clean the nursery yet and to go to sleep. One moment - and the child as if changed: bitter tears, shouts, refusal to submit … He hides in a corner of a sofa and sobs, and on a floor balls, cars, planes and plush animals are piled up.
U us with the husband the mood because we feel as evil giants who intruded in the Toy Store and broke harmony spoils too. Besides, we want that the son had at least the minimum sense of responsibility: played - clean up. We explain it Meath, but it refuses to listen to us. Nearly an every evening comes to an end so: the father loses self-control, shouts at Mitya, frightens him that will throw out all toys in a dustbin, and by force drags it to sleep, and I put toys.
Perhaps we demand from 4 too much - the summer kid? When and properly to accustom to clean up it? Whether is though some opportunity to avoid children`s tears and parental shouts when the speech comes about that the child helped seniors?
the Situation the children`s psychotherapist, the family consultant of Madelaine Sanchukcomments on
the Child begins to help parents approximately since a year. He can respond to a request to transfer a napkin, to give to mother a toy. Approximately in the same time it is worth accustoming him to clean that toy with which he played enough in a box, and only after that to allow it to be engaged another. The kid considers books? To it will be more convenient and quieter if you help it to take one, and slightly you will remove the others aside. If it reached for following, suggest it to return into place in the beginning that with which it played. However, if it is important to child to play with two at once - five books, do not try to overpersuade him. And here if he is ready to be engaged in construction of a tower, it is necessary to tell:“ Mitya played enough with books and wants to play with cubes. Good fellow, Mitya! Well - let`s put books into place, and then mother will give Meath cubes“. He wants to draw? Great. “Mitya, at first it is necessary to collect all cubes in this basket, and then we together will draw by all means“.The the child, the more difficult it game is more senior than
. In two years it needs both the book, and a doll: he “reads“ to a doll the book. Or - animals, the train and ware: animals go by the train, and at stops Mitya feeds them. How many toys it is possible to give to the child at the same time? It is exactly so much how many it is necessary for it for its game. It can be a set of hundred cubes. Or thirty cars, garage and drivers with mechanics. Or doll, all its clothes, its kitchen, carriage and set of the young doctor.
When you ask the one-and-a-half-year-old child to clean up books or machines, will hardly hear rough protests. And here the child is more senior can begin to be capricious from - for what he does not want to clean. It can occur for two reasons. The first - he just slightly matured and now tests you: what supposedly happens if I do not obey? Firmly and quietly insist on performance of an assignment, ask whether your help is necessary. If he became stubborn - do not engage. Recede. In five minutes he by all means will ride to you behind juice. Kindly and firmly tell that you will give it juice as soon as it finishes incomplete work: “I will pour to you to juice after you collect cubes. To help you or you are?“
the Second reason for which the kid can refuse to clean is fear not to cope with a task. Remember yourself: you come to kitchen after at you for New year all thirty of your friends and relatives walked. Familiarly to you irritation and a minute attack of weakness - with what to begin cleaning of these Augean stables? The same feeling of depression and fear is tested by the small child at the sight of hills from cubes, bears, hares and cars. There is a lot of toys, they are scattered on all room. To the child not to cope with work. Here your help is invaluable. Sit down on a floor, help the kid to divide an excessive problem into simple and feasible tasks: “Give mother will put this cube in a box. And you bring that, red. Now mother will put this small blue, and you bring that big yellow. Now give me two green! Ah, well done! Here what good assistant at me!“
So you teach several things at once: to an order, solidarity, mutual aid, and at the same time you conduct very important occupation where the child comprehends the concept of color, the size, account rudiments. If you are irritated by this occupation, then it will irritate also your child. You speak instructions through set teeth - he protests. You are quiet, firm and benevolent - he quietly performs a task. It is sure that you will not begin to show persistence, but imperceptibly you will tidy up everything if the kid is sick or very upset.
If nevertheless your attempts to call the child to order by positive methods failed, do not worry: there is on it a justice!“ Clean, please, toys, otherwise I will collect them and I will hide to the day after tomorrow“. He did not listen to your words, pretended to be the deaf. You do not fly into a rage. Collect all toys from a floor in one box and hide for two days. And that if the kid has a great lot of toys and he will not miss what you hid? Repeat procedure the next day. Sooner or later he will miss the books and machines. Here - that it also waits for a serious lesson:“ You did not clean a toy, I hid them, as promised so you will receive them only the day after tomorrow“.
to you should show hardness and not to give in on arrangements that to it here only the book about “Teremok“ or the little designer. The day after tomorrow. Before returning toys, by all means agree that after game you expect that it will clean toys into place.
One of options of this effective technique - a penal box to which all toys which are not cleaned by certain o`clock go. In advance remind that hour X after which you will select to the day after tomorrow everything that remained untidy comes.
I do not forget to praise the child for each kind act.