Precepts and manuals of the mother-in-law
some men have one big shortcoming - their mothers. In our case it is the mother-in-law and his mother. As I managed to act as the daughter-in-law at especially svekrovisty mother-in-law, I want to share with you her manuals and instructions. As I do not agree with its “requests“, after each point I will put the comment, and we will gradually see how the world will change if in it mothers-in-law order.
Precepts and manuals of the mother-in-law
- Never mine dirty footwear of the house. The sink or a toilet bowl from dirty water can get littered. Take a basin - and on the street.
(Let`s try to imagine how in the evening all women leave the apartments with basins and bags of dirty footwear. The second ice slaughter will begin - to put a basin on a bench and to wash footwear with comfort.)
- Never wash fat the dishes in a sink. Only in a basin (again this notorious basin), and pour out water on the street. The sink can get littered.
(To me it seems that sinks will be abolished as superfluous. And percent ten the population will run from the fifth floor to pour out water under a bush. But the remained ninety percent will just splash out water in a window. Disorders and a fight on city streets will be provided.)
- Never throw out female hygienic laying in a garbage can (that, God forbid, men did not see!), only on the street in a fire.
(Ticklish subject. Several days a month, each woman with nightfall leave, looking around, on the street, part a small kosterok and hasty burn laying. My God! I wanted to cry with this unfortunate picture!)
- Never go with a flowing hair. The girl has to be accurate. Remove hair from a hairbrush and hide, but do not throw out. As their birds get from a garbage can and twist nests.
(As nobody will see fine long female ringlets, hairdressing salons will be closed, and a kichka - a figushka and a braid each woman is capable to braid itself, at home. Further we go to ruin bird`s nests. We select hairs at poor birdies and we hide. Oh, unfortunate birds that with you was made by our cruel mothers-in-law!) >
- it is indecent to p to walk with an open stomach, naked legs and in trousers!
(Cardinally the fashion changes. All carry maxi. Kolgotochny factories prosper, factories on production of women`s trousers, shorts, bridges, topics and t-shirts with short sleeves, and also open jackets and bathing suits above a knee and not covering a wrist decay and disappear.)
- Always sleep with edge or in the nearest room to an entrance door.
(I explain what occurs: women sleep on rugs at doors. On the very brink of a bed that the first to warn the owner that to the apartment thieves climb and to rise in his defense.)
- Linen needs to be dried only on the street.
(Amicably we stretch ropes! From a bush, to a tree, from a swing to a horizontal bar! Mass postirushka on days off will come to an end with display of underwear from Ivanov`s family from the 20th apartment.)
- to Watch TV - a sin.
(Yes. The most terrible. And therefore women clung an ear to radio receivers. By the way, the Ostankino tower was demolished - and on its place constructed church.) Always should take
- phone with itself. As to call two o`clock in the morning and to ask: whether you fed a dog and whether closed a door on the tenth latch - it is sacred!
(Means, cellular communication went to develop at us even more in high gear. In order that the mother-in-law could find (read - to get), any family member on a crime scene - for example, during a dream.)
- Cannot keep animals in the house.
(Most likely, on each house the nursery will be constructed. Where doggies, kitties, hedgehogs, snakes, mice and guinea pigs will contain by common efforts of a birdie. But I am afraid that especially clever will attach pigs, horses and goats as pets there.)
- Cannot pour out the drunk not enough tea (everything, as for food).
(The drunk not enough tea. It is reasonable economy. Drank not enough, put in the refrigerator, then you will warm and you will drink up. Or you will treat guests. At the same time all bums as a class will die out, it could not be eaten.) Cannot put
- (to replace) flowers in the house. Took out on the street and put. And in general, I them all the same will throw out, from them only dust. And dirt.
- cannot be Smoked.
(It agrees. But there is a wish.)
(Houseplants can be seen only in greenhouses and greenhouses. There is not enough oxygen. People choke under unreasonable oppression of mothers-in-law. And dust was not lowered)
the results: total disorders, rabovladelchestvo, economic crisis and oxygen starvation. Guerrilla wars. Vendetta. Women do not see a good example and become even more severe mothers-in-law. In addition to it early aging, continuous psychological pressure and early death... We will die out as the nation. And nothing fine in us will remain. And one woman, his mother, the mother-in-law arranged all this ridiculous disgrace.