Rus Articles Journal

Love damned

In a question of man`s changes not the last place is taken by a national factor. Undisputed leaders, Americans, on average for life have fifteen changes, at loveful French and spontaneous Russians - around ten, at hot Finnish men - six, at devout Poles - five, and at extraordinary faithful Hongkongers - “only“ three. The fact that the nationality plays such essential role in this question, we will quite explain: the person though is considered a universe wreath, but quite often behaves as a typical animal, and an animal gregarious. As well as other representatives of fauna, people accepts rules of the game of “pack“ therefore national peculiarities in many respects define our behavior in the vital questions including sexual.

So what to consider as change? There is quite state, but accurate formulation of the psychologists specializing in this painful question. They claim that change is a sexual contact with other partner. We emphasize: neither flirtation, nor romantic meetings, nor even kisses and embraces, from the official point of view, are considered as change. It is possible to agree with this treatment or not, but nevertheless a boundary in this ambiguous question is sexual contact. The person is surprisingly conveniently arranged - he is able to think out ingeniously to himself justifications. Here fans to wag on the left and thought up a soothing tale that supposedly change only strengthens marriage. Allegedly in this case there is some kind of feed of the dying-away feelings based on the hormones which quickened on the party, the excited emotions and an inevitable complex of fault. Actually everything is far not so simple.

So far the extramarital affair did not come up

outside, from a campaign on the left the husband comes back home with some feeling of awkwardness and automatically begins to make up to the deceived half. In a family peace and harmony, all are with each other madly gentle and precautionary - purely externally reign the world yes love. In that case a secret love triangle, let also owing to enough perverted motivations, all - quite often really fastens a family, but holds it not on an equal safe plateau, and on the edge of a disastrous abyss. And here if secret everything - becomes obvious, other history - with scandals, ukhoda from the house begins absolutely, ruptures of the relations, sufferings of children and it is frequent stains...

Why we do to

it?

the Impartial statistics claims that about 80% of men at least once in life changed the spouses, 40% have in marriage of constant mistresses, at the same time communication with prostitutes is not included into these percent at all as the stronger sex even at anonymous poll sincerely does not consider such relations as an adultery.

That with the man do what oaths from it take as frighten him - hardly for it to observe a monogamy. Why? It is not immorality and immorality of the stronger sex, and just in the corresponding device of its physiology. Perhaps this explanation also is offensive for the “high-spiritual“ tsar of the nature, but the fact remains: when its hormones enter fight with ethical principles, this fight quite often comes to an end with a checkmate, and lose obviously not hormones.

According to sociologists, the average person is made for the life by nine changes, at the same time the man came out in this “honourable“ competition on unconditional top, having left the woman by results far behind. Statistically, the weaker sex changes less often (approximately twice), but all - you should not do of women of innocent angels.

can call

of the Reasons for which people change very much, but if to try to group them, a picture on average such:

How to learn what the husband changes you?

Is not present

in the nature of such device which precisely would define incorrectness of the partner just as radiation level is defined. Incidentally heard conversation, the note which dropped out of its pocket began to smell foreign spirits from his shirt - even such signs cannot be the absolute proof of change. The intuition can bring, especially if you are already jealous. But nevertheless some signs can indicate appearance of the competitor. If recently:

If on 4 (and more) point of this test you will answer “yes“, it is a serious occasion to reflect.

What to do?

First of all solve

for yourself: what do you want to achieve? If your purpose - to keep a family, is required to you a maximum of endurance, diplomacy, will power and a step. It is very difficult to make it, but it is quite possible. One clever, beautiful and successful woman living with the beloved husband long and happily claims:“ If you want to remain with it, and not just to remain and that “all past returned“, it is necessary to pretend... that everything is fine! That there was no another (others). To take care of the own life, the affairs, the appearance, to be with it loving, sexual, clever, to hold a form and to hold blow. And not to forget that you are a woman of his dream!“

Each to their own

At each person besides more or less imparted moralnoetichesky principles also the hormonal level, the libido, the degree of an emotional maturity, vital circumstances, psychological features, stereotypes of behavior, a temptation and, eventually, the vision of what to consider as change. The main thing - to understand that from changes nobody is insured and incorrectness is a factor of real life which all the same will not force us to live alone at least because in the whole world there is no such force which can avert the normal person from love.

We conducted survey on “What in Your Understanding Is Change whether It Is Inevitable, whether It Is Worth Forgiving the Traitor“. On this difficult subject dreams shared the opinion :

Vera Sotnikova
If really to see things, then, most likely, changes in a family are inevitable. I so consider because polygamy - in blood at men and to fight against it simply senselessly. Polygamy of men can be shown that, say, the man lives with one woman, says that it loves, but changes it at the same time. Certainly, wise women are able to forgive changes, and they are right. But it is always easier to advise. I, unfortunately, not from such. I could never forgive for all the life changes. But perhaps and in a different way. Everything flows, everything changes...

Dmitry Kharatyan
of Change for me - the closed subject. But I do not agree with popular opinion that intrigues on the party for the family person are a norm. So speak to justify own weaknesses and dissoluteness. And there are different types of men: there are walkers, and there are also monogamous individuals. Perhaps, it does not make sense to those who cannot pass by himself any skirt to make a family in general. And if you already concluded the alliance with other person, try to be to it true. I for a healthy family and a monogamy. But, unfortunately, sometimes forces of nature are stronger, than moral and moral installations. I condemn nobody, but only all the same it is worth aspiring to the best and to work on itself.

Oksana Pushkina
For the sake of preservation of a family needs to manage to forgive to

all. In due time I suffered from divorce of parents - change was one of the reasons just. Remembering the children`s experiences, I for myself defined that all trials from - for it are empty. The main thing - health of the child, moralngo wellbeing depends on it its future. Therefore the clever woman change will forgive and will not notice if a problem really only in it. Change anyway change - though physical, though moral. Just in that case the woman has to behave as the cat walking in itself. To me here all - was succeeded to keep a family - 23 years I already live in marriage with one person. I consider that man`s changes are inevitable, it is the alphabet of life. It is sure that any man if only he is not sick changes.

Alexander Polovtsev
to Forgive to

change or not - it, in my opinion, depends on specific people who live together, from features of their relationship. If people clever and they are going to live together further, probably, they will make everything for safe permission of this situation. It is difficult to speak about the reasons pushing on change. Perhaps, it is physiology, perhaps, still something. Guo - to cook to the person that you love, and at the same time to change - such behavior can hardly be considered normal. But all of us know that there is in life and it... I do not consider that changes in a family are inevitable, but everyone can happen in life. I want to note that if change everything is happened, it does not mean at all that the family will not be farther than happy. Clever people, if they for a long time together, will be able to endure it. Yes, occurred. But what now, everything to break off, having lived many years together, having grown up children, to tell each other “good-bye“? Though someone also reacts quite so, and in own way the person is right. I do not speak about myself - it is the generalized statement on changes. And my personal relation to changes let will remain at me.

Victoria Tokareva
Change is when the man or the woman desert a family. If the spouse just affords extramarital affairs - it is his personal record. In my understanding change hardly worth calling it. I consider that all man`s world poligamen. All of us see on spring as drakes go for ducks. And then there passes time - ducks go with ducklings, but already without drakes. Drakes somewhere, and ducks with ducklings in itself. Only swans are monogamous also wolves, and all other poligamna including people - it is possible, unfortunately, but it so. Society treats female changes more strictly only because by the nature it is conceived: the woman has to take out, give rise, continue a sort, and the man - is as much as possible women to inseminate, make as much as possible copies. When people love each other, establish a family, it, certainly, imposes on them certain obligations and some time they are loyal each other. But gradually in this couple endorphins - happiness hormones - begin to be produced less, there is a need to refresh feelings. For example, with the wife at the husband this hormone is not produced, and with other woman it is produced. There is also a desire to change. I do not justify change, just I say that they can be understood. I am sure that there are no such men who would never change the wives. And if is, then I such do not know“.