Rus Articles Journal

And whether it is necessary the second?

Morning. Sun beams already play with a curtain, kolykhayushcheysya from whiff of a breeze from the slightly opened window. Mother strives in kitchen, making for a family a breakfast, the smell of svezhesvarenny coffee is carried on the apartment. The father potters on a floor with the younger child, and the senior did not get up from a bed yet, but already tightened several soft toys there and built them the house from a blanket...

of Feet! It is possible to describe family idyll indefinitely further. But it does not make sense as all this is only my ideas of an ideal family where mother (that is I) - kind, beautiful and careful, the father - teetotal, purposeful, providing a family, and all free time spending in a family, well and, of course, children (as without children) which by all means there have to be two. Such representations at me developed in the childhood, without looking, and can be despite the fact that my family was far from an ideal.

everything is clear to

With mother and the father - it is not an ideal, it is norm, such they also have to be in a normal family, but why children there have to be by all means two? I somehow did not think of this question and accepted it as an axiom. I was the only child in a family and how many myself I remember, always wanted the brother or the little sister (or, as a last resort, a doggie). However mother was unapproachable, constantly explaining to me as it is good to be in a family of one that all for me, and it is not necessary to share with anybody anything. But as all this not convincingly sounded! My requests in some measure nevertheless were granted, and at me appeared: a doggie, and on it all calmed down.

I time to embody the dreams in reality here came. Mother, the father and the child rather successfully materialized and take place to be. And already before me there was a question: and whether it is necessary to give birth to the second? Never thought that this question will become for me so actual.

in maternity hospital I and two just given rise little girls solemnly promised that it is more for as we will never give birth. Of course, now I understand that it were only fleeting emotions. All are afraid of childbirth, but, eventually, several hours are possible and to suffer for the sake of great and boundless happiness. Having given birth to the first child, I subconsciously counted that I will give birth to the second, postponed children`s things. But in parallel I thought of how we will go three together to the sea as soon as the daughter slightly grows up as I will come to work, and new pregnancy somehow did not fit into this picture. Two of these thoughts almost at the same time developed in my head and did not interfere with each other at all.

About three and more children I also do not stammer, I know that it not for us. The man who had three children worked with me: two boys who already graduated school and the little daughter. He considered himself as very happy person in spite of the fact that he realized all responsibility of the situation, and he and his wife completely gave all the best at work almost without days off and holidays to provide children: to the senior to pay study in prestigious HIGHER EDUCATION INSTITUTION, to an average - study and accommodation abroad, and the daughter - the nurse and sections. And at the same time my colleague was going to provide each child with separate housing. It seemed to me that I so could not.

After christening of our daughter all relatives gathered at one table and began to stick to us with the husband with this question. But having seen that we are rumpled and we make a helpless gesture, and having thought that we, most likely, “muddle“ began to share the opinions. From all directions councils fell down: “It is necessary two and of course, two, an uga and how?. At least two!. As what for? It is necessary!“. The argument was iron - it is NECESSARY! But my mother, as always, caused a stir in a non-standard view of a problem.“ In a family there will be enough one child, the second it is not necessary, - she declared. - At all my acquaintances who have in a family two and more children, one problems. And it is even not problems of parents, but a problem of children. In the childhood between them jealousy, fight for parental love, rivalry, envy. And when they grow up, but begin to divide parental property and how many it did not put, under all laws of justice, all the same somebody will be dissatisfied. And even if in appearance the relations look safe, then only from - for the fact that people learned to mask problems from foreign views“.

you know

I, having heard it, even the most ardent supporters of large families quieted down, probably, to consider heard, and to analyse the relations in the families and families of acquaintances.

generally, we with the husband did not come to a consensus. The opinion of the majority can be understood, it is cast by the secret social program which presses on consciousness of society. Someone carries out this program at own will, someone, stepping through himself to conform to general standards, and someone does not pay attention to public opinion and lives as it is pleasant to it. The girl by thirty years did not marry, and someone will giggle behind the back and to call the old maid, someone to feel sorry and consider that nobody takes her. And she lives happily to herself and rejoices that did not give in and did not make a mistake, having married just because all so do. I conduct all this to the fact what oh as there is no wish to live on the template which is thought up by someone, and wants to be understood that we want actually.

Can neglect, of course, everything, “as God willing“. But there is a wish to hope that we are civilized people and we can operate the destiny or at least try to make it.

Material aspects I do not drag in

here. Even if now we live not in full prosperity, then I am not going to postpone the birth of the second child for later when “everything is“. First of all, I want to give to the children health, but not a bunch of chronic diseases, giving birth where - nibud after 35. Therefore - that I also hurry myself with the solution of this question as time is allocated for us not so much.

Here I lifted this subject in conversation with the husband again.
- And can it is not necessary the second? Let`s lift up the daughter, and we will live for ourselves.
- For itself to live it is uninteresting, - he answered.
- Who argues with it. You will live for me, and I for you.
I hung a pause again, and all were lost in thoughts.

Still I thought that why to give birth to the second child if there are a lot of doubts. With the first everything was clear and simply - all were two hands pro. And now...

Morning. I wake up from cotton of an entrance door, the husband left for work. Mechanically I look at the sleeping daughter, I cover with a blanket naked patches. Wanted to doze a little more, but suddenly remembered, and a dream it vanished as if by magic. Again already habitual beaker, liquid, small piece of paper. Everything is so painfully familiar. One... And maybe, the second will appear now? Well, though small hint... No, one. I go to a garbage can, and still once more I will look, and suddenly?