As I decided on second
Much I read on the Internet of enthusiastic stories about remarkable pregnancy, about successful childbirth. How husbands, having learned that will become the father soon, carried on hands future mother all pregnancy. And in general became the housemaid, the cook and the close girlfriend ready to listen to stories about pregnancy, pregnant women, about childbirth and children for hours and hours. For me and for the first time it was in very modest option (what to tell about the second). And if it is honest, then so there was a wish that too as in the fairy tale.
A now as all this was.
we Live a close-knit family in structure mother (24 years), the father (as much) and synulya 1,5 years. Mother stays at home, is engaged in economy and education, and the father earns a money. Grandmothers and grandfathers, and also great-grandmothers and great-grandfathers - very busy persons, we see each other only on holidays. Already and mother after the delivery grew thin almost to the former sizes, than inexpressibly pleased the father. And on the lake went all summer with grown up synuly there very much it was pleasant to which. And the grandmother with the grandfather are not afraid to remain with the grandson more than for 2 hours (on days off, certainly). And everything is remarkable.
there Came September, mother decided suit the baby in a garden (naive) and still to come to work. Unfortunately, mother after University did not manage to get a job because of slightly pot-belly. And so, mother went to arrange the son in a garden, and speak to her: “We have no places, come in a year, and in general we take only with 2 - x years“. There is nothing to do, decided to wait. And at this time the father dreams of how mother will come to work, and they will be able to take the credit for some not really expensive foreign car. And dreams - it is still softly told. And the father works as the programmer. And mother, appears, did not dream to be all life the housewife at all.
Here so everything was until until somehow time the husband suddenly asked: “And where your monthly?“ “Everything is normal“ - I answered, - “they will be tomorrow“, - and grew cold. I did not tell it. They had to be today, but the stomach pulls a little, and perhaps... cannot. The stomach still pulls, but the test persistently shows 2 very accurate strips. Easy panic begins. Got into the Internet behind information, someone`s experience, did not find practically anything. What to do? How to tell the husband? Decided not to delay it and just showed in the evening the test.
- And that?
- In sense - that?
- What you are going to do with it? (Notice - “I“, but not “we“.)
- I do not know. And you what you think?
is to you to solve, but I am not ready to become a father again (it is possible to think that for the first time it was ready).
I all. More we together did not discuss it, and in vain... No, my husband was not categorically against this child, he wanted in this life of two (theoretically) too, but he was not also for. And I all - mother with an experience, and I just could not kill the tiny being. Somewhere from - for egoism and laziness. Well it was lazy to me to go and hand over a lot of analyses for abortion. And the abortion made in youth left indelible impression for the rest of life. And for me already then it was the child, but not several sections together.
A still influenced my decision which happened to girlfriends. On ultrasonography in 18 weeks the fruit malformation, incompatible with life was found in one. As a result - artificial childbirth in 22 weeks... At another on the term of 25 weeks waters departed, childbirth began - the child did not survive...But, on the other hand, I wanted
in people. I wanted for work, to earn the money. I wanted to have an opportunity to go to the pool, on shaping, at cinema with the husband (together) at last, to go to visit abroad. To go shopping in shops for about 2 hours at least, and not just behind products and pampers, and if to you graciously it is allowed. There is a wish for a little free time, without husband and the child, let only half an hour. And now all this is postponed for indefinite time.
Again from the house only with a carriage, again personal time only after 12 o`clock in the morning if carries. Again friends will cease to invite us to holidays together, only the husband. For me for some reason this annoying. I try to be the model of a wife, good mother, and I want to have a rest too. But I have a child therefore I stay at home, and the husband has a good time for two.
the Choice was difficult. But if I chose, then I already try not to be sorry about deeds. And I made only the correct decision - to try to take out and give birth to the healthy baby. Other chance can not be, and I always wanted 2 - x kids: boy and girl.From this point my test for durability also began
. The husband took a position (which still adheres): you got - you and to disentangle. The help - a minimum, it is the only getter in a family therefore at home he needs to have a rest. Almost everything that can bad bring pregnancy (I do not mean pathology), I was influenced. For me it was slightly unexpected since last pregnancy on health was just ideal.
Early toxicosis, exactly till 12 weeks. On kitchen it is difficult to come was, and the son and the husband should be fed. A uterus hyper tone during the same period. It is necessary to rest in bed, and I walk with synuly several times a day and the house still on me. Last experience and the Internet help, I am treated. I for myself decided that I declare valid pregnancy only after 12 weeks when there passes the first critical term and ultrasonography will show that with the child everything is normal. Existence of a hyper tone from first weeks called it into question. Was registered in 10 weeks to receive the direction on the first ultrasonography.Everything is normal
. By the way, I worried about this child much stronger since I knew too much information. The truth is told: you know less, better you sleep. On each ultrasonography I was afraid to hear that with the baby something not so. Already the tummy grew up a little, and once someone quietly knocked from within. Both next day, and then. It was in 15,5 weeks. And here then I up to the end realized that I am mother of two kids now.
the Only time when I seriously regretted that I left my kid, was when at starshenky (already starshenky) attacks began. It began to be rolled up to blue in the face in different occasions. I.e. he began to cry without stopping and there was some spasm. He exhaled air when crying, but could not inhale, breath stopped, the child became blue and fainted for several minutes. It was terrible.
Doctors said that age, to 3 - the m will pass to years. But me - that what? Every time, I thought that he dies at me on hands, and I do not know what to do. To the son there were at that time about 2 - x years, and I was already on the term of 16 - 30 weeks. I was afraid for both of them. Just broke off me at that time on part. And if at that time there was still a choice, then I would solve in favor of the senior. Since I already know it and I love, and the new little man still unfamiliar.
Fortunately, everything ended well. By 27 weeks of my pregnancy attacks at the son became more rare, and then stopped at all. After that the milkwoman and locks from the middle of pregnancy became just entertainment. Campaigns in ZhK are in general separate history. It was necessary to lie down also on preservation in 32 - 34 weeks. But all this is not important any more.
My God as I want the girl! But the husband persistently goes on: “In our sort everything goes according to the planned scheme, we with you have to have only boys“. “And I want the girl!“ - “Nothing at you will leave“. - “But I feel that it is our daughter“. And babies, as ill luck would have it, decided not to be defined early. Only in 32 weeks I learned that it is the girl. Though felt it from the very beginning, but it was worth being convinced nevertheless. The husband still is surprised, looking at ours 5 - the monthly baby.
Still. All my love now only it. Or on the contrary, I will begin synulyu to love less, it the senior already now, and kids are loved more. Everything was solved at that very moment when I saw the daughter for the first time after the delivery. Everything rose on the places. Also I love them equally strongly and not equally because they absolutely different and my love too different. But both of them are the most beloved, dearest and most remarkable children because both are mine.still I want to tell
A thanks to the sonny. To this most sensitive and gentle kid who sincerely cares for the mother and the younger little sister. And with what interest 2 - the summer son ironed a mother`s tummy (the father has just a rest), and it reacted already then. I very much was afraid to put a psychological trauma to it, having given birth to the second. Negative examples around me was much. The senior children at best did not notice babies, in the worst - were capricious, up to hysterics, and asked to carry babies back, to their mother. But, having told the son that at him the little sister as soon as my stomach became swept rather up will be born soon, I often explained to him as all of us will live together after the birth younger and as he (it) will teach her to all. And now it, meeting acquaintances, it is proud says that we have little Nika (Veronika).
He the first saw it in maternity hospital, the vypisny sister allowed it to take the baby. And for a month it did not miss any bathing or disguise. Always asked what I do now. I did not hear from it any badly word to the baby throughout all this time. He is not yet 3 years old - x, but when we rise at an entrance with a carriage on 3 - y the floor, having seen some adult, he speaks: “Help my mother with a carriage“. I swear, I did not teach it to it, me directly awkwardly somehow. I in general try to manage. But still nobody refused to it this request.you would see
A how the little sister rejoices to it. Only with it she laughs loudly especially cheerfully, well, sometimes and with mother. And today he speaks to me:“ You go, mother, wash the dishes, I will look after Nika, she will not cry“. At first I was afraid to leave them alone, but then began to leave - for a minute, on two, on five. Now - for 10 minutes, and younger settles down on a blanket on a floor, and the senior in every possible way entertains her. But it at all not the nurse, and that can develop impression that I oblige him to it. No, all on a voluntary basis. I never insist on its help to me with the sister. It has also “adult“ duties - to descend in a garden, for example, and the affairs - to drive on the machine, to sculpture from plasticine, to draw and many other things. It has the life.
Now to me 25 years and at me are two children: son Artem (2 g 10 months) and daughter Nika (5 months) . I am happy and I enjoy life. Just now it is absolutely other life, is not worse at all than at those who else have no children. Let at others - career, independence, freedom of entertainments, and any it. And I have children, happy children, and I am proud of it. I will have all the rest too, but later, it is necessary only slightly - to wait slightly. For now I am necessary to the children and I am near. And so far there is a small respite to plan our the general family and specifically the life further.I do not feel sorry for
Ya about anything.