We wait for the second? “When I learned
about the second pregnancy, heaven and earth was literally moved for me.
Several days I sleepwalked precisely. I cannot tell that I did not wish this child, at me even the thought did not arise to interrupt pregnancy, but appearance of the kid now (!) when the daughter is not two years old, more than unexpectedly yet. The first pregnancy took place normally, I did not go to hospital, gathered not much, was quickly restored after enough easy childbirth and already returned to doberemenny weight... And how there will take place this pregnancy? How my child will apprehend appearance of the brother / little sister? And whether we will pull the second child financially? Whether I will cope with elementary household difficulties in care of two?“
Fortunately, the child is born not at once, it should be taken out and this time it is enough to realize, accept this fact, thoroughly to be prepared and if it is necessary, to prepare other family members, for this joyful event - the birth of the new person.
So, it is very short what to expect from the second pregnancy and childbirth
- Most often women transfer the second pregnancy easier because, taking into account former experience, treat the situation more simply, they are quieter and surer. The woman already took place as mother, she has no fear of the unknown though there can be fears concerning future changes. Toxicosis can heavier pass
- as pregnant mother depends on regime of the senior, still small, the child and is not always able to afford to have a rest or have a sleep once again.
- But nevertheless the child helps mother to distract, in everyday cares of the firstborn the second pregnancy flies by quicker - and mother just does not manage to worry on trifles and to concentrate on sometimes excessive experiences which the incubation period is full. Should expect
- that during the second pregnancy the tummy will be rounded quicker that will force you to change clothes in “pregnant“ clothes on smaller term, than for the first time. mother feels
- of Stir of the baby approximately on two earlier - three weeks. Because the woman already knows and can distinguish shy pushes of new life from other feelings in an organism.
- Some mothers note that the husband`s relation to the second pregnancy more cool. And it can be understood as pregnancy not the first, everything that is connected with it, is not new and already endured by you and your husband therefore does not cause former delight.
- As a rule, the second childbirth proceeds quicker.
- the Second child is often larger (on 200 - 300 grams) than the predecessor.
Quite often so happens that people close to us - mother, the mother-in-law, having learned that in a family replenishment approaches again, do not share with us pleasure from this news. In some degree they can be understood, they are concerned about health of the daughter, daughter-in-law. And if you assume negative reaction from close relatives in relation to this pregnancy, then it makes sense not to inform elementary them on your situation at least to a certain term after which talk will not make any sense.
How to be prepared for the birth of the second child
- At once as soon as learned that soon in your family there will be two kids, you will take care that you had a reliable back for the period of hospitalization, need for which can urgently arise. If the kid got used that only mother always nearby, such unexpected separation will be traumatic for him. Now it is necessary to connect actively the grandmother, the sister or the nurse (that person who can help you) to your everyday life that the kid without you in the company with this person felt comfortable. That appearance of the younger brother or little sister was not
- surprise for the child, it is necessary to prepare it for fast changes in family life. But, most likely, with talk and explanations it is worth waiting to that time when pregnancy becomes obvious, that is when is what “to show“ to the kid as notable (literally this word!) proof. Besides, small children are not able to wait long therefore you should not share with them news right after you learned about pregnancy. to
- to help earlier only, and soon to the senior kid to present “what the animal“ - the younger brother / little sister is, - on walk pay attention to mothers with newborn children more. Show to the firstborn of the photo of babies in magazines, show his early photos. As often as possible, but it is unostentatious, tell, surely plausibly, unvarnished, about behavior of kids in the first months after the birth, warn the child that only the been born brother or the little sister will not be able independently to eat that mother will nurse it; that kids often cry and calm down only at mother on hands; that babies need every minute care and leaving and tell that you are a mother - you are not afraid of difficulties, you have an excellent assistant - the senior child.
- should estimate critically independence of your kid Now and, having revealed weak places, to strengthen skills of elementary self-service. It is desirable to teach the child to eat independently, to go to a pot, to put on though something, to undress. Here that small and necessary that will facilitate to you coexistence after the birth of the second kid and will leave more time for joint games and rest. By the way, not less valuable will to teach the senior child play silent games.
- If you nurse the child . It is necessary to solve - whether you will separate the child now or keep breastfeeding after the delivery to feed two children at the same time. If decided to separate, better to make it in the first - the second trimesters that the child did not connect an excommunication from a breast with the advent of the new family member.
- If you sleep together with the child in one bed . It is necessary to solve - whether you will settle out the senior child in a separate bed or will leave everything as is. And after the delivery: you will send younger to a cradle or and you will take it to yourself in a bed (believe, a dream with two children in one bed not such an exceptional case). If decided to settle out, it is recommended to begin it before childbirth as soon as possible. In some families it almost naturally occurs after an excommunication from a breast. Usually at the age of 2 - 3 years children at own will leave to sleep on a separate bed. If you plan to send to
- the child to a garden, moving is expected or any more - less significant change of your life - is desirable to make it even during incubation of the second child. As for, kindergarten, it is a separate big subject and to begin to drive the child in a garden, ideally, it is necessary even before pregnancy that the senior did not connect this event with the advent of the second child.
- Emergence in a family of the new person - in itself a stress for the senior child, as if it was ready to it. Here several little advice of psychologists.
If together with relatives the firstborn “discharges“ you from maternity hospital, it is important that mother left with free hands (as it usually and occurs, the baby is taken out by the midwife) - in order that mother could embrace the senior baby who was so yearned without her for these long five days at once.
It is desirable to present in this day, important for all, to the senior child a gift (what it is necessary to think in advance of), and also to warn / remind all guests who will congratulate you that they did not forget about the firstborn and, bringing gifts for the newborn, bought though something and for the senior child.
- Though you are skilled parents, and, certainly, you know much and are able, be ready that on temperament the second child, most likely, will not be similar to the firstborn. And it is healthy! Each child will teach you to something new.
I, at last, we will dispel two most widespread myths
- of “Financially we will not pull the second child“
Even if at you it is difficult with money now even if pregnancy unexpected - all of you equally will be the best family for your kid. And it does not depend on that how many new and fashionable things you buy it. Actually, the child, especially the second, “costs much“ not so as it is considered to be. Today on a commodity market for children a huge set of qualitative production the, available at the price, which in many respects is not inferior to company. And besides that an age difference of children small - a carriage, a bed, a stool - the main expensive objects, for certain, remained. And even, if you managed to distribute everything, time to collect came now, address the girlfriends who had a replenishment in family recently! Of course, any future mother will not keep not to buy something brand new for the newborn. And here you have huge advantage before mother expecting the first child. You do not react on bright, advertized, sometimes absolutely useless things and accessories any more, now you know that really it is necessary to you and the kid and already much better understanding the assortment of goods, rationally will approach this question. And present how much to you will present! So year for certain everything will be enough for you for the first.to what really should be
K ready, so it to the fact that the main expenses will go to diapers, but I think, you did not manage to forget about it. “It will be heavy
- in life, I will not cope with two“
Will cope, be sure! Not you the first, not you the last! Most important: to be adjusted on a positive and to remember: that the nature took care of you, if necessary the hidden reserves of an organism will be mobilized, and you will intuitively choose correct and only tactics of behavior, right for you. And still, do not neglect the help of relatives, friends and even neighbors. Until you adjusted a uniform day regimen yet, did not get used to be mother of two children yet, their help can really be necessary for you.
itself can facilitate life if :
- to feed not with mix, and a breast;
- not to iron diapers and some clothes;
- not to bathe every day;
- not to walk 2 times a day, to practice, whenever possible, walks on a balcony; not to prepare for
- a feeding up independently, and to buy ready food or to drive “a pedagogical feeding up“
- for a family to prepare simple, not demanding hours-long standing from a plate I go, perhaps, to begin to use the semi-finished products which are not raising doubts in quality.
Time of adaptation to a new role - understanding that you mother of two children, - will come quickly, will also quickly fly by touching time of early infancy. Then the first contact will be come and shy interaction between children will begin - as it is interesting to watch it! At first youngest will catch the uncertain look a face of the restless brother or little sister and when, at last, catches, and hardly will record a look, will blur in the first toothless smile - the senior will be forever fascinated! And when the firstborn with tears in the eyes will demand to regret now the fallen brother or the little sister as if he hurt, you will understand how they are necessary each other...