If the husband the workaholic of
In general, he and the husband became because was a workaholic: we simply had no time to meet.
In the first day of our acquaintance it, telling what beautiful legs at me, suddenly was interrupted, apologized and began to keep ringing on mobile to puzzle some Nina Mikhaelovna with some consignment notes. There were, by the way, 11 o`clock in the morning.
- And what, - I asked, - these consignment notes it has to bring to you now? there is no
-. To find tomorrow in office.
- And you at office will not be tomorrow?
- I Will be.
- Then why it is necessary to call the unfortunate woman in the middle of the night?
on me with surprise, then - with delight... Also suggested to meet tomorrow once again.
Flight for work (type first)
In 10 days I howled:
- All! Enough! I do not sleep week, I do not have time for a friendly sit-round gathering, for talk with mother, for theaters and computer games. Only work and you, you and work!. We should meet at least every other day... And it is better - only on days off.
- On days off I work too (here I called it “workaholic“), and it is necessary to sleep really sometimes. I think, it is better for us to live together: then at night we will be able to meet in any deal for now I am absent, will communicate with friends, to visit mother, theaters and to stick out at the computer...
Arguments were so logical that I did not find objections.Generally I am not adapted by
for coexistence: I like to roll about and keep silent, having come from work; I am irritated by presence of strangers behind the back when I type articles into the computer; I never make a breakfast because I have breakfast tea, and seldom I make a dinner (as I eat only vegetables)... And still I can not clean up long in the house. > As it became clear
by p, get on such “thriftless bitch“ can only with the workaholic: he comes from work squeezed out as a lemon too and wants to keep silent; he got used to leave for work early - and therefore itself has hastily breakfast (I do not know, by the way, than); it comes from work late, and to it already to the hair dryer whether long ago I tided up, - the bed would be ready. And we cook a dinner together - because it is necessary to communicate once. Also tell where you still will find the man who will quietly perceive your vigils at the computer?! And the workaholic - easily. He will sit down in other corner of the room with the calculator and will solve the problems: to it whether you know, “it is pleasant to work in my society“.
He, by the way, and from work comes to eight now, but not to eleven, and ceased to call colleagues in the middle of the night.“ The man, - he told, - steeps in work if he has no place to go more“.
Yes, and psychologists claim that one of the most common causes of “trudomaniya“ - disorder in private life. The person does not want to come back home - here he and sticks out at work.
the Syndrome of the excellent student (type second)
the Second common cause of workaholism - the excellent student`s syndrome. These children well studied at school because they were praised for efforts, they played sports that they were not teased by peers, they overcame music school not to afflict mother... Generally, they do not believe in what can just carry to lives. They do not wish to join life and to love it. They got used “to try to obtain everything the work“ and to earn reward for this work. They very much show to people around that are ready to accept any task for the powerful shoulders... Eventually in these uncountable tasks get confused, by all means forget to make something, from - for it terribly worry that “to expiate a sin“ undertake a new task... And so indefinitely.
the Workaholics who grew up from excellent students is an incurable pathology. By own efforts here not to cope unless by means of the psychotherapist who will get into subconsciousness depths, will pick open children`s complexes and will allow to be exempted from them.
the Only thing that can be made, - to use muzhny perfectionism for the house use. Let thinks that in the house without it in general no issues are resolved: you are afraid to sleep without it (to go to shop, to communicate with municipal services), children obey only him... And the neighbor invited you to a weekend in a sauna. Then the workaholic will begin to stick with might and main also on the family front. There is, however, a danger that, eventually, he will overstrain from unreasonable loading, will get a stroke, a heart attack, at best - neurosis. Or will begin to hide from family problems at work, having turned, thus, into the workaholic of the first type.the Greedy person (type third)
Most often it is greedy
to money. Also plows, plows, plows for the sake of a daily bread. This bread already in a throat does not climb, and it earns everything and earns! There are neither forces, nor time for a hlebopotrebleniye any more - and he everything works.
It could be suffered, but the workaholic begins to reproach members of household with this bread and “then the person“. It is possible to neutralize this disgrace only in one way: to work and earn independently. In - the first, the husband will have nothing you to reproach, in - the second, you show to him a bright example of the fact that it is possible to exist quite tolerably, without burning down at work.
the Greedy person is a person who lacked something fine in the childhood: or lived in deaf poverty and received sneers from peers, or parents of its nedolyubila, having directed all sincere efforts to the younger brother. And now he tries to compensate this shortage by means of money. By and large, in it there is nothing awful: the person has to ego-trip somehow, and your workaholic chose not the worst way. The main thing - do not allow it to be approved at your expense.
It is possible, it is greedy not to money, and before work. If to be more precisely - to glory. It is pleasant to it that all see what it irreplaceable as nothing without it is solved... All this is too from a lack of love which is compensated by vanity now. The workaholic so believed in own exclusiveness that he will not entrust even the most routine affairs to either partners, or subordinates. And partners and subordinates so got used to it that they forgot to make independent decisions long ago. Therefore the greedy workaholic does not go with a family to holiday (it in general does not go anywhere), does not go to the pool (because the mobile phone cannot be taken with itself(himself) in water) and gives valuable instructions directly from a matrimonial bed.you will not believe
, but this dependence is overcome... sex! Exhaust darling to impossibility, inspire in him that the bed is his field that exactly here it will be shown as much as possible. In - the first, he will guess that work is not everything that it can, in - the second, having received that love which did not gather additionally in the childhood, will get rid of complexes, and in - the third, choosing between work and pleasure, the person (at least in three cases from 10) will prefer pleasure.the Main advantages of the husband - the workaholic
- It is not poor in
- it is precisely. Because any work is paid. Continuous work is paid continuously (even if it is not really high - but usually is enough for a family).
- He, as a rule, does not smoke (“And what for? Only time to waste!“ ).
- He does not drink - because, in - the first, almost always driving, in - the second, he constantly needs the lucid sober mind for adoption of serious decisions.
- He is not a ladies` man: once.
- It has no addictions at all: well is once!
- He knows what is fatigue, - therefore does not demand that you after work radiated cheerfulness and showed culinary talents. Can quite roast to itself a beefsteak or have supper together with you at restaurant.
- He is ready to listen to your reports on last working day and not to consider it as “female chatter“.
- He respects independence. At it it is full of problems - and he is even glad that it is not obliged to penetrate in others, - so will not take offense if you spend evening with friends, descend in theater with the colleague or buy a sheepskin coat, without having consulted to it.
- He quickly thinks. Therefore if problems really arose, you can safely share with it: he will think up the decision.
As to get on with it
- to Rejoice that he is a workaholic, but not the alcoholic.
- To create a situation when to it it is wanted home, - can, it in general will get rid of trudogolny dependence.
- To bring more girlfriends with whom it is possible to go shopping, in theaters and in a bath.
- To go about the own business - then you will have no feeling lost and passed by life.