About the reasons of children`s whims and hysterics (part 1) of
for One of the most frequent inquiries with which to prikhoditsyastalkivatsya to the psychologist in his daily practice, a yavlyaetsyaobrashcheniye of parents of two - three-year-old kids apropos “inexplicable“ their transformation of “lovely angels“ in the “uzhasnykhmonstr“ which are everyday terrorizing all family despotic, humiliating the dignity of adults, requirements. >
to Many wondering parents it is the most difficult for p to reconcile own depreciation in the opinion of the two-year-old “rebel“ rejecting any, apparently, very reasonable restrictions of an izapreta by means of which mothers and fathers aspire otregulirovaty behavior.
At the moment, among widely-read parents, naiboleerasprostranenny is the point of view that whims and hysterics are a natural stage in development of children of a younger doshkolnogovozrast that thus they learn the world of chelovecheskikhvzaimootnosheniye, define borders legal inedozvolenny, and, eventually, “itself will pass“.
mixture of various concepts really happens: about the odnoystorona, negativism, obstinacy, obstinacy, willfulness, depreciation of adults which are expression of zakonomernosteydetsky development, and with another - whims and hysterics, a yavlyayushchiyesyaotrazheniye of the wrong strategy of behavior of parents. The whim, a hysterics is a consequence of parental unwillingness “to go to a napovod at the mischievous person“. It is also a signal to parents that onivenut themselves with the child incorrectly, it is not adequate to his vozrastnymvozmozhnost, imposing “unreasonable“ requirements to “malenkomutiran“. > Therefore it is very important to p to know
what is age of negativism of an iupryamstvo what it matters for all further the child`s razvitiyalichnost and why the child who stamped on mother a leg has the right to be not brought to a hysterics.
On the third - the fourth year of life the world of the child which is characterized by his position, inseparable from the adult, turns into the world “I“ for which creation a neobkhodimavyrabotka of own internal position of the child. For this purpose to establish to a chtobyvposledstviya new, higher relationship by the breaking adult world, the child needs to pass etapotdeleniye from objects and living beings, with kotorymipervonachalno it felt indivisible communication.As the child can learn
about existence of other points of view if he had at first no, and, the main thing if it was not accepted a vovnimaniye? How to learn to argue the point of view if it - part of foreign point of view?
So, the child separates himself from world around and develops the svoyesobstvenny relation to everything. Process of postroyeniyasobstvenny identity begins. What it is the simplest to begin with? Sprotesta!
However, the protest of the child is not end in itself, it is only a way, spomoshchyyu which the child defends himself, the right for an otdelnoyesushchestvovaniye. Very often the kid, trying to obtain that, chtoy forbade, feels disappointment. Therefore it is very important to allow the child everything, a kromeosnovopolagayushchy ban: on actions, in rezultatekotory its own health or health iblagopoluchy other people can suffer.
All other bans and restrictions have to have not direct reference a krebenka, and indirectly, to characters with whom, on vremyaigra, both the adult, and the child are identified. Game will help to vzroslomuosvoitsya with the world of children`s reality, and to the child - to nauchitsyaprinimat rules which in game are followed strictly.
Game is the only activity by means of which snachalavzrosly “will enter“ the world of the child, and then from there “will lead“ it to the adult world. Qualitative difference of this point of view otobshcheprinyaty in social psychology consists that the childhood is not just preparation for future adulthood. The childhood has own unique value. And only teroditel who having believed in existence of a special, separate mirarebenk, will want to glance there, carefully going on its paths, will be able to talk to the child in his language - game language, tolkotaky parents will let out the mature personality in adulthood.the Child living in the world which is not respected by the most expensive to a negolyuda for a long time remains to
in it that his independently reshitvolnuyushchy questions. The child who had a childhood smelovstupat in adulthood, carrying away with himself from the childhood samoyeglavny for each person - self-confidence, hope for ponimaniye love to world around.