The conflicts between colleagues: as not to allow them and as to get out of them. Part 1. Prevention of
one people are pleasant to All of us more, others it is less, and it is necessary to communicate both with those, and with others. How to construct communication to avoid conflict situations, in many respects depends on ourselves. There is a set of classifications and kinds of the conflicts, including on a workplace. Quite often meet and there are sharp and unpleasant conflicts between two colleagues.
the Conflict is not simple dispute between the people having different opinions on some question, this serious disagreement or even collision of opposite interests. The emotional behavior of the parties is always characteristic of it. Scandal can long be about to happen, and then, having received some spark - a formal occasion, to burst like a bolt from the blue. Sometimes he occurs between people, it is a lot of years worked side by side, but saving irritation, without wishing to state it. And happens, the beginner whose aspirations are contrary to interests someone from colleagues comes to work.
the Conflicts in working collective can be divided into groups depending on the one who initiates them: chief with the subordinate, subordinate with the chief, colleagues among themselves. Besides, there is a classification by quantity of involved: the interpersonal conflict, the conflict of one person with group, between two groups. Let`s consider several types of the most widespread collisions arising between two workers.
Oh this sincere simplicity! How many quarrels from - for it happen! For example, one employee complains to another of the slip made by the secretary to management:“ Could not transfer to the chief my report in time, and to me flew! The truth is said that all secretaries do not differ in mind!“ And that without realizing, he, perhaps, creates prerequisites to collision. Suddenly someone from relatives works for his colleague as the secretary? Then he risks to acquire the enemy. If the person is accustomed to state constantly sharp, generalizing nationalist, sexist, racist judgments, you should not be surprised that less and less colleagues treat him with sympathy.should not be
too categorical in judgments - your words can wound someone. State concrete claims to the specific person. Criticize in essence, without generalizing and without transferring the offenses from one object to another. It is impossible to use with pejorative intonation of the word, pointing, say, to the origin of the person, his nationality or some qualities which do not have relations to conversation. You should not tell about something “it badly!“ the position can be designated, for example, the words “personally it is not pleasant to me“.
Sensitivity and a step in communication - the best prevention of conflict situations.
your colleague does not approve the chief`s innovation, he is absolutely sincerely sure that all this the utter nonsense and abuses new idea the last words? Let`s assume, you do not share its position and, on the contrary, consider that the innovation very much will help with further work. If the developed contradiction does not touch your activity in any way and is only a question of his personal preference, it is possible just to ignore this situation. Or to give to the interlocutor the chance most to understand, feel advantage of a new technique. Perhaps, he did not know something or did not understand, perhaps, he is simply conservative at heart. You should not criticize its position in response to attacks. It is enough to answer that you are interested in an innovation. If you enclosed in it the ideas or the work. Having understood, that it is important for you, the colleague, if he is a person brought up, most likely will apologize to you.I am always right
Very often disputes happen from - for the fact that we cannot or we do not want to explain the point of view. It is necessary to insist with deep arguments. If any arguments, except “So always was!“ or “I so want!“ is not, maybe, it is worth refusing the position?
be not afraid to concede, apologize if are not right. Many heads, especially average link, consider that they will drop the authority if admit own wrongfulness. It`s not true. The person who recognized a mistake shows ability to development, a quick mind and open thinking.
the Conflict necessarily
Happens, the employee for some reason brought you, without having performed the work or this promise in time. Before accusing and entering the conflict, it is worth understanding a situation.
If objective circumstances, accident or elementary forgetfulness prevented to keep the promise really if the colleague sincerely regrets the incident and it is even ready to take before the management the blame, you do not judge him too strictly. If you were offended unintentionally if the person is dear to you and you are ready to forgive him - farewell without reflecting.
A if in the previous example you feel evil intention of an act if this colleague not the first time sets up you, it is necessary to sort outs the reason of its negative attitude. As if we tried to prove even to ourselves: “I do not know from what he went for me!“ the hostility reason most likely is known. Perhaps, you caused offense - means, it is worth apologizing or just to show to the person that you do not test to him hostility.
If you is wanted to be schemed, compromised before collective or the management to take your place, you treat such employee with extra care. It is better to steer clear of it and whenever possible to build the work so that not to depend on it. Anyway not to be necessary to revenge, to try to do the reciprocal harm - in life there are affairs more important and more interesting. Performing the work qualitatively and in time, you will prove much better, than having begun to machinate ill-wishers.
to Consider the temperament
Each of us perfectly knows the character. Someone, for example, will quickly begin to boil, but will easily forget and will forgive, and another, on the contrary, will better keep silent, but will long carry offense in soul. Therefore if you feel a conflict maturing, do not forget to make the amendment on own temperament. If already it happened to you to speak sharply of someone or something in dispute, and then to be sorry about it, you do not go too far better.with
you are irritated by the colleague`s sluggishness - it is not necessary to state at once to it everything that you think of it. Wait a little, perhaps, after a while you will find a way out. Or you will understand that it is not sluggishness, but thoroughness and serious approach to work at all.by
But if unpleasant conversation is inevitable, be prepared for it in advance. Try to plan that you want to tell. All your words have to be in essence, it is impossible to allow sharp and rough statements, intonations have to be quiet. It is not necessary to shout and be nervous.
the Collecting irritation
the Irritation can collect from - for the most different circumstances and at some moment to become the cause of conflict. Therefore it is better to deal with many problems “without departing from cash desk“, without waiting until there is an occasion to state everything and at once. Reasonable doses of criticism are much more effective, than the list of sins for all years of collaboration.to
If to you does not like someone`s hairdress or a manner to put on, here most likely you are not imperious something to change. And to talk on these subjects if you are not amicable among themselves, hardly pertinently. Therefore not to save hostility which can strongly spoil your relations over time it is necessary to try to change the view of a problem. Or rather, it is necessary to learn to understand that there is no problem, actually, and. It is worth estimating only business qualities of the employee.with
But sometimes more serious things - for example, the untidiness or negligence which are shown in anything irritate. The colleague constantly somewhere thrusts documents which you use, or arranges “invasion of Mamaya“ in the general locker. >
It is in that case better for p to state it the claims quietly. Often negligence does not mean total absence of business qualities, and just is a sign of creative nature. Perhaps, he in this chaos perfectly is guided, and classify everything - nothing will be able to find. So if it is impossible to change it, strictly divide offices of a locker and enjoy purity and order on the half.
Unfortunately, almost in each collective is the person provoking others to collision. He is not personally your ill-wisher, it can do much harm to everyone. Such personality derives pleasure from the conflict - actually, for this purpose it also starts it. It likes to cause in people around such emotions as anger, irritation, even rage. Perhaps, he considers that he so will force the neighbor “to reveal“, show the weaknesses, and then it will be simpler to be operated. For such any scandal not just pleasure, but also an opportunity to manipulate people with benefit for itself.Knowing
that in your collective there is a person with such abilities, try to be insured from his attacks. It as at school - tease the one who reacts. Therefore if you will not answer or will begin to react exactly the opposite, the provoker most likely will beware to contact you.the Majority disputable situatsiymozhno to settle
peacefully, without entering an open antagonism. For this purpose at first estimate whether it is so important for you to resolve a situation in own favor, how strongly it concerns personally you. Often people try to convince another of the correctness and even go for quarrel without any serious occasion. Respect the right of the colleague for own opinion even if you keep the own opinion. Tell who is cleverer, that will concede. In life there are a lot of much more interesting things, than all and to everyone to prove the case, especially by means of such unpleasant and unpredictable thing as the conflict.