My Big and kind Daddy of
Many fathers are sure that they will by all means be connected to education when kids grow up when they need the mentor - the intellectual capable to instill in younger generation imperishable values and to share knowledge of difficult concepts, and before and mother has enough. Often women in every possible way support this delusion because is not able to weaken control and to allow the father to divide with mother the predominating place in the child`s life. Whether it is correct?the Role of the father in a modern family remains to
not only very difficult, but also surprisingly dramatic. Let`s begin with the fact that married couples even more often break down stereotypes of gender roles in a family: it is more and more fathers, having rolled up sleeves, completely undertake cares on care of children. Experience shows that in such families of the father cope with all knowledge of care of children not worse than mothers. But, despite of this rather new dynamics in the family relations, the most widespread scenario remains to the same: mother on whom the care of the child, and the father who steadily appears on the periphery of family life entirely lies. Such alignment of forces does not do well to either the child, or couple. How there is the father`s pushing off on the periphery and what it is possible to oppose to it? >
of the Loudspeaker of the matrimonial and parental relations it develops p from the first day of the union. Alienation of the father in the first weeks of life of the kid means one: the father will remain on the periphery of life of the child forever and will execute only limited functions, say, retaliatory and supplying.the beginning of relationship between the father and the child was necessary to
For many families in family maternity chamber when the father helped mother to be resolved from burden, supported her by the kind word and together with it welcomed birth of the kid!
the First feat of mother is to invite the father to the nursery and to grant to it the rights, equal with it, and powers. The loving mother by all means will want that, the child had a warm, careful and kind father. Means, it for certain will manage to overcome the jealousy and desire to reign undividedly in the child`s life. She by all means will allow the father to swaddle, feed, bathe the kid and to play with him.
Experience shows that only in amicable couple both parents steadily have positive feelings to the child: in such couples fathers perfectly know the children and are involved in all spheres of care of them. The father - the adult conscious man who for certain will cope with the child. From time to time it is the best of all for mother to give to the father the chance to communicate to the child alone, to feel not as the errand boy, but the proud father.
the good father is able:to protect with
- the child from dangers; > it is attentive to li to listen to
- ; > it is hot to li to support
- progress of the child; to offer
- good advice;
- to teach to make a right choice; to praise
- for good acts; > it is firm to li to criticize
- for unseemly offenses;
- to be generous, fair and sensitive;
- to conform to the rules which it imparts to the child.
of the Father and children
If the baby knows a tender voice of the father, his kind face, a smell, laughter if he got used to careful touches of fatherly hands, so the father will become for the kid the same important person as mother. If the father constantly is absent, and coming late at night, takes seat at the TV, it means that gradually the father will be forced out on the periphery of family life. In such family the child will adore the father - the inhabitant of heaven from far away and to consider himself unworthy father`s attention and love. The cold neglect of the father causes uncertainty in the advantages, force and appeal in the child.So to what the father of the child in the first years of life can teach
? The first and the main - love. If the father is quiet, equal and benevolent with mother and is tender with the child - it means that the behavior he teaches the baby the first major lesson of knowledge of a world order. It is deciphered by the little person approximately so:“ My parents kind and good. They love me. The world is light and reliable“.
to the kid Should grow up slightly - his emotional world becomes more difficult and inconsistent. Here he is jealous mother of the father (and vice versa). Here he enters into alliance with mother, makes up to her and tries “to be on friendly terms with her against the father“. However, once mother gets to the core of this trick and not to give a chocolate for which the kid just begged it as that remorselessly will go over to the father and will try to incite it against “angry mother who does not give some sweet“. At this stage the father and mother are equally responsible for to allowing - to the three-year-old peanut to embody two the desired principle:“ Divide and dominate“. Mother and the father teach the child an important lesson: parents are always solidary, do not criticize each other in the presence of the child and do not win cheap popularity. In system of values of the child competence of parents holds the top places. The father has to be proud of the skills, tell about them to children, acquaint them with the hobbies. Fishing, soccer, a campaign on fate - a concert, in a zoo - these events will become invaluable jewelry in a moneybox of children`s feelings and memoirs. Whether it is worth reminding that mother has to impart to children respect for the father. Both parents will not be mistaken, emphasizing all those high qualities of the partner which once so attracted them in each other. The child goes to school. It is very important to it to be proud of parents and know that he can rely on them. The careful father will tell that he was anxious too when he for the first time went to school that too not everything came to it easily. Children selflessly listen a story about the childhood of parents. Correctly chosen, these stories help children to see seniors unprotected, inexperienced, ridiculous and touching.The the child is more senior than
, the it is more difficult than his relationship with the father who personifies force, wisdom and the power. If the father all previous years was a close friend of the child, then, most likely, and at teenage age will come to the father for council.
of Relationship of the daughter with the father
the Father - the elect`s model for the daughter. Therefore be not surprised if the girl of years of four - five begins to coquet unconsciously with the father. Her coquetry is an unconscious desire to subdue the father. Some fathers lose the head for pleasure. It is very pleasant to father to be the main and only person in life of the child who wandered a shadow for mother until recently. >
it is easy for p to understand emotions of fathers in a similar situation, but it is a trap! If you get to it, then it will be very difficult to be chosen: your parental authority will suffer. Moments of rough love will be replaced by scenes of rage and powerless anger.
What to do? The father has to be respectful to inept passion of the child, understanding and mature hardness. Having assured the daughter that he very much loves her, the father has to follow those rules which were developed in a family before the daughter entered a phase of “love for the father“, not to allow it to speak badly about mother, to rebuff the baby when she tries to prevent the father to kiss mother, having come from work. It is important to tell:“ I love you. You are my remarkable daughter. I love mother. She is my beautiful wife“.the father is invaluable
In the first school days as the interested listener, the hot fan, the tactful adviser and the firm mentor. The girl in adolescence becomes more reserved with the father. Daughters, as a rule, cling at this time to mothers more though vigilantly watch fathers. Most of all girls interest at this time as there are relations between parents: they “try on on themselves“ parental marriage on a scale:“ It suits me. And this at me will be perfect differently“.the first shy hobbies the girl discusses
with girlfriends and mother more often. The father needs to be content with vague hints. The more a step and generosity the father will show, the more willingly the daughter will begin to share with him warm to experiences. Sensitivity and a step demand from the father that he did not comment on emergence of intimate accessories of the growing daughter. However it has to be ready that the daughter will want to share with it the most intimate and concerning - transformation from the girl into the girl.from
many fathers Really suffer when their daughter falls in love seriously. Jealousy and the hostile attitude towards the elect who dares to touch your daughter, - very widespread reaction of fathers. It is far more constructive to invite the young man home, to establish with him the serious, “man`s“ relations. The good beginning - to tell the young man that you respect the daughter, you appreciate her merits and you count that the young man will appreciate and respect your girl too.
If young people decided to leave, it is better for fathers not to interfere. Let the daughter and her elect learn to make independent decisions and to make own mistakes.
of Relationship of the son with the father
the Father - model of the true man for the son. If the three-year-old boy imitates smoking process - means, his father, most likely, the heavy smoker. If the boy shouts mothers: “Shut up!“ - it, perhaps, only imitates the father. The father should refuse all habits which he does not want to impart to the son.The the child is more senior than
, the more important to it to feel to the father not only love, but also respect. Requirements of the child become more and more serious: whether the father is able to swim? Whether much he earns? Whether believes in God? Growing up, the son will make more conscious attempts to resemble the father: to diligently copy his gait, manners, clothes style. If the son identifies himself with the father - it means that he admires the father and wants in everything to resemble it.
the Father - the best adviser for the son in delicate questions of sex education. He has to be ready to answer many “inconvenient“ questions honestly. Remember that teenagers are inclined to speak about the first hobbies, carefully masking the vulnerability and vulnerability. Therefore their tone happens rough, and words sometimes obscene. The tactful father will explain to the son that there is nothing shameful that the boy fell in love, will prompt a right tone, will find simple and kind words, will give indicative examples from the youth.What
he is a father?the Nice fellow - daddy
of the Man of this type are inclined
to sybaritism. It is simpler to them to allow the child ton of candies and unlimited computer games - if only the father did not tear off from favourite soccer or the book. Such father, as a rule, for days off loosens regime of the child and drives the wife who tries to impart all week to the child discipline elements into frenzy. It avoids the conflicts with the child. Preschool children adore such fathers. But already at preadolescent age they cease to respect the father, begin to be rude to it and to conduct provocatively. Having made small effort over itself, the nice fellow - the father is quickly enough involved in more intensive relations with the child, begins to derive pleasure from games with it and becomes the great tutor. > the Father - an ant
it is offensive for p to see
when the role of the father is limited to supplying functions, each father can share with the child much more important things, than purse contents. How many the busy father paid off from children with gifts, at heart he is not satisfied, angry and has sense of guilt for the fact that he substitutes original attention for toys. Children willingly use a parental purse, but do not forgive indifference and lack of original interest in their destiny. Council “to fathers - ants“: work slightly less! More modest way of life will not cause damage your house, but you will be able to enjoy games and conversations with your children.
the Father is a controller
This father cannot pass by small violation of an order. It requires to itself(himself) implicit attention and strictly collects for each fault. As a rule, such father sermonizes the child long, chooses books which should be read, a sport which should be engaged, and circles which should be visited. “The father is a controller“ often abuses and humiliates the child at strangers. Week without sweet, month without TV - here its severe sentences. Such fathers children are afraid, try to hide from them the mistakes. At children the low self-assessment, uncertainty often develops.“ The father - to the controller“ should have a good time more often and to stir easy with the child.
the Father - the executor
A here to use the father as the terrible chastener - at all a sin! Do not give in, fathers! You - not an appendage to a belt, and power methods of education seldom bring positive result. Think together how to discipline the child, otherwise he will be afraid of you and will cease to trust you.