Satisfy my grieves of
(Some aspects of psychology of pregnancy)
Came true! At last, you are relieved of vague guesses and painful doubts, now you precisely know - IT is Pregnancy. Long-awaited or unexpected, planned or casual, the first or next. Right at the beginning, as if early spring. You dreams that the forthcoming nine months brought a pacification and joy in your soul. And if the fine dream does not come true? And the persistent reminder of people around “to you is harmful to worry“ does not help to get off inconsistent, disturbing mind and feelings.
Crisis of changes
the First months of pregnancy is time of revolutionary changes not only in physiology of the woman, but also in her psychology. In internal, its intimate space “I“, there was a space of other person with which existence it is necessary not just to reckon, and it is possible, to reconstruct all life, to change all plans. Not all can unconditionally accept these changes. Even if the child desired and long-awaited - grandness of an accomplished fact takes all thoughts of the woman, forcing it to worry: “How it will develop my life is farther? How pregnancy will proceed? What will be with my career? Whether I will be able to provide to the kid the worthy future? Whether there will be I get prettier mother?“ Familiar questions, isn`t that so? Similar sincere torments can cause not only feeling of fatigue and irritability, but even to become the reason of toxicosis or threat of interruption of pregnancy.
Council of the psychologist. In - the first, do not try to solve all problems at once. Postpone them for indefinite time, and it is possible to be resolved their some part without your participation. And in general pregnancy - unique time when it is possible rightfully to dare not to react to vital problems. And not to feel at the same time fault for such irresponsible behavior. Remember that there are most material benefits on light, the child needs your attention, understanding and love.
In - the second, the most important to realize and accept the new state now. Allow themselves to be the pregnant woman. To accept the new state means to accept emergence in your life of the child, to learn to understand his requirements. Indulge the small weaknesses - whether it be desire to lie down in the middle of the day or to buy some delicacy. Let pregnancy will be included into your life not as time of bans, and as time of new opportunities. The statement it seems “I will not be able to put on the favourite tight jeans“, it is possible to replace: “At last I will update the clothes!“ It is enough to change the point of view to feel taste to changes.Irritability Pregnancy does to
the woman emotionally vulnerable, inclined to concern, more sensitive to negative experiences., It seems, and a reason for frustration insignificant, and eyes on “the wet place“, and nothing pleases. Many women are pursued by feeling as if you “in a trap“ incessant nausea from where - that the pulled hard fatigue, constant irritability. Doctors explain such unstable emotional state with the rough hormonal changes happening in an organism. Only understanding that such state naturally and quite physiologically does not facilitate to the woman this difficult period.
Council of the psychologist. the Increased irritability is a signal to future mother that it is necessary to learn to relax. This valuable ability will come to the rescue not only during pregnancy or at the time of delivery, but also in general will favorably affect your life. The easiest way to relax is to turn on the quiet music, to lie down, having settled down more conveniently and to concentrate on the breath. Take a deep quiet breath and the slow weakened exhalation. Represent that with each exhalation relaxation and rest comes. By the way moderate physical activity excellent remedy for melancholy.
Even if before pregnancy the woman differed in unperturbable temper, then now can easily panic from abstract reasonings of the doctor on complications of course of pregnancy or from the story of the excentric girlfriend about the childbirth. Scenes from some movies or television news, the sharp remark of the chief or fellow traveler in the subway can make you cry. Be not afraid to give vent to the emotions - cry, complain to somebody, the main thing do not drive gloomy thoughts and offense into soul depth. Such raised impressionability simply a reminder that it is time to replace impressions. COUNCIL of the PSYCHOLOGIST. Remember that your impressionability has other party - it is an opportunity to look in a new way at the world. As if during pregnancy the woman to become a few child who with interest and surprise looks at the world. Seize this opportunity to enjoy fine aspects of life. By means of the impressions you transfer to the kid information on world around. Your impressions tell it about volume the kind world or angry, colourful or sad, cheerful or sad. So try to get out more often to the nature, to visit concert halls or the museums.
In soul of the pregnant woman occurs so many changes that she can begin to feel very alone in whirlpool of the gushed new experiences. All people surrounding it remained the same, only you one in the power of “pregnant feelings“. But in too time experience of loneliness allows to glance more deeply in own soul, to understand itself, to analyse the life experience, and it is possible to overestimate the vital values. COUNCIL of the PSYCHOLOGIST. Use loneliness for self-knowledge, but not too become reserved, share the experiences with close people, consult to the psychologist, talk to other pregnant women. Now there are many opportunities to communicate with “similar“ are both courses of psychological preparation for childbirth, and special groups of pregnant women in the pool or sport center, and even specialized shops arrange lectures for pregnant women. And the most important, begin to communicate with the child, he the closest for you people.
the Period of pregnancy can give a new positive impulse to the relations in a family, and can generate misunderstanding. And it is the most important to woman to get support from darling. However it is much more difficult to man to join in process of pregnancy of the wife and to become the “pregnant“ father. It hardly represents that in your stomach the little man grows (by the way, to it not the stranger). The man will be disturbed rather by your new whims, than features of course of pregnancy. The rare man with inspiration talks to “tummy“ or be touched to pushes from its depth. But it does not mean that men are absolutely indifferent to the forthcoming changes. Just they endure “pregnancy“ in own way. COUNCIL of the PSYCHOLOGIST.
Take the trouble to educate unostentatiously your darling in questions of pregnancy. It needs simple, concrete information on what occurs at present. Ask it to descend together with you on ultrasonography. Some men, having seen personally the child in a tummy, completely change the relation to pregnancy of the wife as if having convinced of real existence of the kid. Use more often a pronoun “we“, it will be one more sign of the fact that you not one. Unostentatiously tell the husband about how the kid behaved for day. If at the beginning there is no expected reaction, be not upset and do not reproach the husband with misunderstanding. Just many men do not express the emotions openly.
If you have a joint desire that the husband was present at childbirth, then he needs to complete the corresponding courses of preparation. At all not in order that he did not faint at the most inappropriate moment. And in order that from the uncertain witness, your husband became the active participant of events (what he actually also was at the beginning of your pregnancy). He not only will be able gently to take you by a hand, but also will manage to make the weakening massage, will remind of the correct breath, will help to change positions. Such active participation in childbirth helps the man to realize the paternity, and for the woman is irreplaceable support.
Alarm for health of the kid
Sometimes the pregnant woman with fear begins to touch all risk factors to which it was exposed since the beginning of pregnancy and to think how they will affect the child. Memories of the drunk glass of wine or the taken aspirin when it was not known of pregnancy, reflections about the polluted air of the hometown or radiation from the computer monitor on your desktop yet are used. Yes you never know still can affect health of the kid. Dangers there and here.
Council of the psychologist. Should not exaggerate risk degree. Congenital defects meet very seldom. Think that the vain alarm is much more harmful to your child, than those errors which you made. Do not indulge in sense of guilt, find better a way which can compensate your “misses“ - whether it be active walks in park or the balanced food or listening of classical music. And still try to represent more often what healthy, strong and beautiful the kid will be born at you. Such imaginations very well affect development of the kid.
Fear of childbirth
Childbirth really is such powerful physical and psychological experience that their expectation is connected with the whole series of fears. Except quite clear fear of patrimonial pain, not quite conscious fears connected with the children`s injuries of own birth which emerged from subconsciousness depth can begin to torment the woman. Such “memoirs“ remain with the person for the rest of life, gradually exerting strong impact on his behavior. Happens that waiting for the coming childbirth the woman begins to feel fear of death. Business even not in fear for own life, and it is rather in a presentiment of experiences of the child who in the course of the birth passes a stage of psychological “dying“. Do not forget that the birth is one out of the most powerful experiences of the person, comparable on force unless that with experience of death.
Council of the psychologist. Researches showed that childbirth proceeds easier at the women who had special training, well representing as there takes place childbirth, actively participating in process of the birth of own child and realizing that in labor at the kid of feeling is much stronger, than at mother. Most of all in life we are frightened by uncertainty. Unfortunately, in modern society people know about the nature of childbirth too little. Be not too lazy to look for information, useful to yourself. It can be special book editions, educational movies about childbirth or courses of psychological preparation. The majority of fears leaves if in advance think of the organization of childbirth, but not to go to the first maternity hospital. It is even better to get acquainted with the doctor and the midwife who will deliver at you beforehand. It have to be the people not only possessing high professional qualities, but also causing simple human sympathy. The feeling of trust to people who at this responsible moment will help you promotes the best course of childbirth. Surely discuss with them “scenario“ of your childbirth, learn what rules exist in this maternity hospital. It is good if with you on childbirth there is a husband or the close girlfriend. The confidence is that at the difficult moment you will be is near by the loved one, too will help to cope with many fears. Remember that the nature allocated the woman with all qualities, necessary for the child`s birth, - patience, wisdom, intuition. Believe in own forces.
I Hope that my councils will help you to accept all happening changes with gratitude, to appreciate their value for harmonious course of pregnancy and to see in them a deep meaning of preparation of your soul for feeling of motherhood.