Smeshichki! (part 1)<%var strKeywords = Application (“strKeywords“) + “humour of humor“ of var strDescr = Application (“strSiteName“) + “. Baby talk. Release 2 - y. “var strTitle = Application (“strSiteName“) +“. Baby talk. Release 2 - y.“ var strPath = “./. / “RB2 = 1; %> D E of T With To And Y of L E P E of T # 2
Was born of - the second number of our mailing... Ya to ours? Everything is correct, mothers and fathers, it already not only washing, but also yours... I mean those 1650 people who subscribed for “home. child. lepet“ and especially 57 mothers and fathers (and also 3 grandmothers!) supported me by the letters... I do not know how business will go further, but in this number all stories - yours. I will put the in a long box so far - till those worst times when to you bothers to brag... How you think, will come such sometime? :) SMEShIChKI! From the father Alexey about a riddle the Main heroine - the girl of years of five. We think the friend to the friend of a riddle. She needs to guess a riddle “the pear hangs, it is impossible to eat“. The girl for decent time reflects, then, talking to herself, gives out: From Alya about Vovochka of Vovochk, 2. 5th years. We go to the grandmother on a visit, we approach the elevator. Vovochk`s
So, the first what we will begin today with, is smeshichka. Brag on health, companions parents!
- And what the pear such is? Rotten perhaps?
in impatience shouts:
- the Elevator, open!
the Door opened at this moment. Vovochk`s
in a full miss very quietly speaks:
- Thanks, the elevator...
of - the second number of our mailing...told
Ya to ours? Everything is correct, mothers and fathers, it already not only washing, but also yours... I mean those 1650 people who subscribed for “home. child. lepet“ and especially 57 mothers and fathers (and also 3 grandmothers!) supported me by the letters... I do not know how business will go further, but in this number all stories - yours. I will put the in a long box so far - till those worst times when to you bothers to brag... How you think, will come such sometime? :)
From the father Alexey about a riddle
the Main heroine - the girl of years of five. We think the friend to the friend of a riddle. She needs to guess a riddle “the pear hangs, it is impossible to eat“. The girl for decent time reflects, then, talking to herself, gives out:
From Alya about Vovochka
of Vovochk, 2. 5th years. We go to the grandmother on a visit, we approach the elevator. Vovochk`s
was Told by the sister.
Was it when her oldest daughter, my niece, there were year two, it is no more (younger sister was not yet). Here Anechka watches a concert on TV. Well and as it is necessary - arranged herself dances under music.“ Green - heat “there“, VV “(“ Vidoplyasov`s Cries“), etc.
I it was necessary to happen so that the following turn of the programme declared Philip Kirkorov. Anechka stopped, stood a floor - minutes, then without telling the word (was not able to speak yet) approached the TV, spat directly in the screen, was developed and left. You tell
About Lerochka from the father Igor
U us with the wife the daughter - Valeria (Lerochka). Now to it 5 years. Usually, if it is necessary to go to hospital, then with Leroy the wife went. And here somehow it was necessary to get also to me with it to stomatology. Pulled out the first milk tooth. Painfully, of course, it was also frightened decently therefore to shout there was enough. The dentist got to us the man and consoled as a real man: - Suffer
the Cossack - an ataman you will be!
On return home, of course, began game in hospital. Now tore all teeth to all dolls. And that which roared Lerochka consoled in words: - Suffer
a goat, and that mother you will be.
From mother Lena
My name is Lena. Or mother Lena. I live in Novosibirsk. To my dochechka to Alesya (by the way, it at us half the Belarusian) 8 years. But still from it sometimes it is possible to hear such “pearls“ that sometimes we with the husband nearly die of laughter. Recently (on April 12) it gave
- And you know that today day of kosmonavtik!
Still such history. About skis:
Skied they a class. Then she tells us: - you Present to
when I from a hill went, all gave a 100% guarantee that I will crash into a tree. And I went round it!
A in general if to povspominat, it would be possible to write still its “nurseries“ (i.e. till 5 - 6 years) literature “masterpieces“. I remember when years 4 were Aleske, she talked to the girlfriend:
- your father what at work does?
- So, your father in “payaka“?
- Probably and. And your father too at work solders?
- (indignantly) my father works at work!
From mother Maria about love
the little bandit who is called Artyom or, on - to Prost, the Subject Grows at me. Now he is 2 years old and 7 months, but there were already different cool stories. Here one of them which occurred about a year ago.
Walked we with the Subject in park and already went home when on our way the little girl met. It, apparently, was about two years more senior than the Subject. The girl was very pretty with a beautiful, long, curly hair - such little lady. My
the Subject, having seen this charming creation, at first stopped, then smiled and approached the girl. As he then was not able to speak, he, silently, took her by hand and went with it on an alleyka. Of course, its direction did not coincide with ours at all.
Ya behind it:
- the Subject, the Subject, we go home! There is no
But - zero attention, it is absorbed by new acquaintance.
the girl`s Parents with interest observe, what will be farther...
the Girl became puzzled of such address too and obediently goes together with the son. I caught up with them, stopped and I speak:
- the Subject, let`s tell the girl “good-bye“ and we will go home, we should have dinner and go to bed. The Subject watches
at me blue eyes, turns to the girl, takes her hand, kisses it, silently turns towards the house and leaves.
Everything, miss, mute scene of all parents...
About Gleb and a cat of Kuzyu :)
of Glebk at us the big inventor, but very quick-witted boy. Somehow in the summer not to choke in the city, we left all family on the nature, to the village to the grandmother, captured a favourite cat. And here we come with the father from fishing with a full bidonchik of fish, we throw to Kuza small things and we sit down to clean what is good in food. The grandmother, having seen Kuzyu, does the modest remark:
- It so fish is will not be, spoiled. It should tear off the head.
Is obvious, the grandmother meant the head of fish. But in a minute - another we found Gleb behind extremely interesting occupation: standing on knees, he diligently unscrewed the head to our favourite cat under heart-rending cries of the victim.
Here such it at us the boy.
About Daniil and Danka from Marina
to Daniil - 2. 5th years. I ask to it riddles.
Well, he answers everything so quickly. Also I to it decided to think of the most unpretentious. I Tell
- Danka that it: the pear hangs, it is impossible to eat?
It couple of seconds thinks, then puzzly shrugs shoulders and indulgently so speaks:
- did not wash!
of Danke of 5 years. We come back in the evening from guests. Danka has a gloomy mood, goes, is silent. Here we began to offer with the husband to it:
- Danka, let`s a dog get!
- I do not want :( she should be walked.
- Well give then a cat we will get!
- Ney... it in all corners will go to a toilet.
- Well then a parrot!
- From it is a lot of garbage.
We is already interested began to offer it and a hamster and other animals, on everything he said no. We finished all stock of house animals and we became silent.
we Go we are silent minutes five. And here he speaks:
- And let`s an owl get!!
- Why an owl?!
- And it will catch mice! We have no
- And mice!
- And will suddenly be got!!!!
B what in what, and you will not refuse to it logic!
A here one more rasskazka: From 2 to 5 it you will not carry
To group any more as he stated it literally the other day. There are we with it on a drawing lesson. We are late. I included the third speed and I rush ahead of it, it respectively behind. And here I hear the phrase:
- Wow, wow, as you work with yagodichka!
Ya nearly sat down! And as laughed loudly! “Goy mother“
to the Daughter Ania about 2 were P>
. 5 - 3 years.
Ya brought home a picture which we looked for several months (painfully it with the wife was pleasant to us). In a picture the slender very young girl, absolutely nude, gracefully sitting on the heels, knees in one party is represented (if it is so possible to describe).
And so, we hang up a picture, we level it and here Ania enters the room.
the Child raises the head, just fades, and slowly so speaks:
- MOTHER of GOYaYa.
Objyasnyalk`s about boysObjyasnyalki`s
. (4. 5th years):
- An, tell... you are, probably, a boy?
- Fathers you that? I am a girl!!!
- And what girls differ from boys in?
- At them here (shows on pisyu) a shit such and they from it pisat!
About a fir-tree from the grandmother Nellie
the Grandson Alexander - to it 4 years, and to the granddaughter Anna - in two months will be 2 years... By New year we invited home Father Frost and the Snow Maiden. As it is necessary, prepared both the poem, and songs - expectation of guests was much more interesting than their presence as Father Frost and the Snow Maiden came to us already “lukewarm“... :)
I here Father Frost sets to Sasha a riddle:
- Who in the winter and in the summer in one color?
A itself, at this time, looks at me... (I was at that moment at a fir-tree in a corner). By
Sasha, having determined the direction of his look, answers:
- the Grandmother that - whether?
So now I have the second name - the Green fir-tree!
He (grandson) very much loves usual water and often before going to bed asks a glass of water.
Somehow time its request had an explanation:
- the Grandmother, give please waters, and that I have eyes already dry!
of Missile defense of the brother
my younger brother some jar with medicine Grabbed somehow. Also I tell
Ya to it:
- do not touch it, this medicine poisonous! He with a clever look asks again
Further such dialogue:
With completely dumbfounded look:
- You are davity?!
to Tana 2 years. Conversation with the grandmother:
- the Grandmother let`s waters drink. - Wait for
minute, I will give.
- the Grandmother I do not want minute, I want water.
on the photo of a chiming clock in the newspaper.
- Mother, what is it?
- the Chiming clock. There is no
-! Well mothers, well it? There is no
- the Chiming clock
-! Tell, what is it?
- Yes a chiming clock.
Runs drowned in tears to the grandmother:
- the Grandmother, mother says that I am Curan, and I am not Curan!
of Tan in Belarus.
Plays with two children. Boy and girl. Brags of everything of the new handbag. The boy leaves somewhere. At this time mother called the girl home to eat. The boy runs in back and asks Tanya:
- And where thawing a torbochka? Tan`s
tensely reflects as it does not know Belarusian at all, and does not understand what it was asked about.
Then on a face an enlightenment.
- her mother home called, it also left.
- I thought you in a tavleta, and you behind dvery!
Arrival for the weekend home from hospital. Parents go on shops.
- Tanusha what to buy you?
- Mother, buy me such bochechka, a ruchechka there, for it you twist, from there it is measured vylazet. Nobody can understand
that the child wants. Around all family gathered. Tan`s
persistently goes on:
- Such bochechka, there a ruchechka, for it you twist, from there it is measured vylazet.
Mother with astonishment (from where the child in general knows such words?) :
- Tanusha, is measured it a horse? There is no
-! Well such bochechka, there a ruchechka, you twist for a ruchechka, and from a bochechka it is measured get out.
At last the grandfather guessed. It is measured is by what measure.
all the time why someone in a veil marries, and someone in a hat. Someone explained to her that young girls the first time in a veil marry, and adult women and with repeated marriages without or in a hat.
Here goes Tanusha with the aunt down the street, by the REGISTRY OFFICE. From there a steam-out, the bride in a hat. Tan`s
loudly so, on all street:
- the Aunt, look the bride in a hat, not the girl means.
Angry voice of the groom:
- you to what teach the child!
I the aunt ready with shame under the earth to fail.
- Mother and an air-raid shelter, it ubizheshche for bombs?
- last year these shoes to me big were, and now they pomalet.
About Milana and Lisa from mother Lena
... Milan - she is 6 years old and it already big :))) and Elizabeth - to it is 4 years, but soon, very soon there will be 5! I Approach
the falling asleep Lisa, t. e we try to fall asleep :))) I look at it and I so wanted to learn whom she wants to become when grows...
- Lisa, and you whom want to be?
- the Singer and a teatritsa!!! - I hear in reply immediately. With astonishment I watch
is, probably, the actress?
- Yes! (well what you are a mother dull!)
we Go down the street, decided to try the:
- Children and why it is necessary to go to school?
- That then money to earn much :(((. (Wow!)
- There can learn a lot of interesting!
Here went then and thought - from where thoughts at them such!
my son passed
with FONT color=blue size= into other kindergarten. The teacher complains that he is not able to count up to five. In the evening I begin to teach it. I Show to
one finger, I ask:
- How many fingers?
- One, - the son with a happy look answers.
- And it, how many? - I show two fingers. The Son does to
the indignant face and gives out:
- TAAK NE CHEESTNO!
By itself, to mothers, fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers, and also all rest, who not parents, but too subscribers of “Baby talk“ :). As they say, if stars light - it means to somebody it is necessary...
In - the second, special gratitude I want to express to the regional center “Dalyaglyad“ which gave to our mailing technical and financial help (bought me the modem and reasonably agreed to pay bills for the Internet). You represent how it abruptly? To have an organition which supports any in the hometown reasonable projects! We argue, in your city such does not? Envy...
B - the third, personal thanks: To Alexander `Vader`U to Iskrov (for the “sparing“ updating of letters), to Pavel `Aloner`U of Prishivalko (for consultations on HTML), to Yulechka `Aldis` Manyakhina (for an interactive raising of my vitality and fighting spirit), to Irina Korolkova (for what, you learn in some of the following releases)...
Well and, of course, to City Kot, for the fact that it is...
of All good to you and your children,
the father Seryozha
(C) 2000 Vorobyov Sergey
(C) 2000 Readers whose material is published