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Baby talk from Artemyeva Olya

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of D E of T With To And Y of L E P E of T # 1 +

N - yes, companions parents... you puzzled me. I intended there was “Baby talk“ at best once a week to let out and now, I am afraid, it will not turn out :). Painfully there is a lot of information from you, dear mothers and fathers, came to my mailbox interesting stories you send, with pleasure I read them... also I look forward to new. And it is more and more of them... it is necessary “to be dispatched“ in increasing frequency... But I do not complain. It is pleasant to me. It very much is pleasant to me!
But we will return on the earth... Before you “Baby talk“, but not the second number, (it for the present “in the project“), and as if addition to the first. The matter is that absolutely unexpectedly one my good friend - very nice girl by the name of Olya, - having read still the crude version of the first number, in several days... brought me a cycle of small rasskazik about the younger sister. We long talked to it about destiny of mailing and eventually decided to publish this cycle separate “special“ release. What, actually, you now also read... Now with pleasure I ask
to speak to the girlfriend:

of D E of T With To And Y of LE P E of T
And P of T E of M E In About Y of OL of I :)

Allow also me to bring the contribution on pages of “Baby talk“.
Characters in my sketches:
Mother - mother Toma, 38 years (at the moment), the nurse, has experience of cultivation me, mine of the sister Anyuta and, partially, our Father.
the Father - the father Dima, 37 years, the military pilot, secretly suffers that in a family one little girls.
Anyuta - the main character, 7 years, the terrible meanie, but, nevertheless, all simply adore it.
Ya - Olga, 19, at the moment the student of BGSHA in “Jurisprudence“ (do not laugh, is in selskokhozyay - stvenny HIGHER EDUCATION INSTITUTION such specialty).
Here in such mad family for 1000 km from Belarus (on the Kola Peninsula) in a military camp lives and is brought up our main character. In the stories I will cover various situations from her life (generally “put bygone days“).

“Kusya - a lebala“

Mother puts Anyuta to bed. It always in itself is problematic, and here it in general in any it does not wish to utikhomirivatsya: turns, aches and loudly demands, some “kusyu - a lebala“. Completely the exhausted Mother who tried all proven means and touched everything in the house, the mysterious word which at least is bearing a faint resemblance, is on the verge of insanity together with the arising animal rage. Eventually, it pulls out Anna from a bed and, leaving in a huff, jumps out on kitchen. Anyuta quietly dotopyvat to a bookcase, pulls out Selma Lagerlof`s book “Niels`s travel with wild geese“ on which cover the flying geese are represented (“geese are swans“), unperturbably gets into a bed and quietly fills up.
Truly, “a lot of things exist, the friend Horatio, as did not dream our wise men“.

As Anyuta “Snickers“ ate

there was time when all these overseas chocolates were a big miracle. Once Mother, having decided to indulge us a miracle - a product, bought them “to tea“. But while the teapot boiled, set the table etc., nobody noticed mysterious disappearance of Anyuta who turned under legs all the time and tried to pull together something tasty. The Father when he needed to come behind something into a bedroom found it. Having hammered into a crack between a case and a wall, it with enthusiasm absorbed a chocolate, having smeared with it all person and the dress which is carefully washed after the previous adventures. But all the matter is that as at that time it was too small to guess to break off a wrapper or (God forbid!) to try to scissor it, she simply gnawed through a hole in a packing corner and, having chewed up a chocolate in porridge, very quietly exhausted it.

the Ill-fated pacifier

Lost the last pacifier. In a family mourning: Anna does not wish to go to bed and in the evenings deafens the apartment by a roar, apparently, mourning a pacifier. Explained to her that “baby`s dummy“ was eaten by vicious dogs. The child reconciles to loss, parents are glad - it is time to wean from a pacifier.
2 days later: Mother with the Father watch TV, Ania potters in the nursery with toys. The wild cry of pleasure is suddenly distributed and to the room, vigorously splashing, the child with a pacifier in a mouth comes. In eyes - a celebration: “What? Ate?!“ .
Mute scene.

First attempt at writing

Anyuta pisatsya by

at night. In principle, it is still small (2 years) independently completely to control this process, but Mother shames her every morning for it. Worst of all to me - I sleep with it on one sofa, and every morning I wake up with a pool near by. Today same history. Mother abuses Anyuta, and that, having thought, gives out: “It is Olya!“. Then, having thought even better, recites the next lines in the manner of a song:“ And Olya, and Olya pytysy (shameless) was“. Rough, unceasing applause.

A this story me was told by my friend


When years 3 were it, she was not able to go independently to a pot “on - big“ and constantly stuck with this request to mother. Mother, if it was busy, asked the eldest son: “The sonny, put Alesya to crap“. Once guests and everything came, had naturally no time for Alesya. Having unsuccessfully tried to draw attention of mother, that climbed on a chair and is loud, on all room declared: “The sonny, put Alesya to crap!“ . It is a pity what she does not remember whether her mother as loudly laughed as guests.

A this history from experience of other my acquaintance

Was going to go outside it to shake out a bag from the vacuum cleaner. Jumped out of the apartment, having left at home 2 - the hgodovaly daughter. The child, having been bored for a while without mother, approached to the door and put the lock on a safety lock. Mother, naturally, with herself did not take keys. Having shouted under a door: “The daughter, open!“, she squeezed out glass in a balcony door (the benefit, they live on the first floor) and, having got into the apartment, could contemplate the following picture: the daughter in kitchen got a package of flour, poured out all it on a floor and with enthusiasm fed with it (tablespoon) of cats. Cats (2 pieces) from delight screamed blue murder.


I Like to have a sleep in the mornings during the week-end. And Mother erases at this time, and Ania without supervision remains. Mother incurred linen on the street to hang out and shouted to me that I looked after small. To Anyuta then was months 10. I, having slightly opened one eye, found it peacefully snuffling over toys, calmed down and decided that if I still slightly - slightly lie down, then nothing terrible happens. Woke up from angry shouts of Mother, klyanyashchy me, herself and Ania. At that time so far I slept, the child got into a case, pulled out all washed bed linen from the shelf and, having taken seat on it, is quiet “descended in a toilet“. This case was remembered to me especially brightly because I spent the day off rest in a bathroom behind the washing machine and the mountain of obpisany linen.

the Swedish family

Anyuta was christened. The sister Mamy Luda was God. We go all family in the diesel. Anna, with concentration looking in a window, reflects on something, and then, having turned to us asks: “Luda, you are my mother now?“. Begin to explain to her that, in principle and, but mother God. Then it turns to Mother: “And you are a mother too?“. “Yes“. Anyuta in perplexity: “Fathers, so, you have two wives now?“ ....

Anna recites the poem:

Hare was thrown by the hostess,
In the rain remained hare.
From a bench could not get down, All to a thread blotted
A ached then and died!!!



of Mother and father, subscribers of “Baby talk“!
the third child - own mailing... I BRAG!
Many thanks to all who responded! Your responses were so flatter that at me just wings appeared behind the back! I already began to work on the second number. Well and, naturally, I cannot just uzherzhatsya from boasting...

  • received your mailing Today. With pleasure read and remembered
    similar acquaintance to the book “From 2 - x to 5“... (grandmother Nellie Adlerovna Syromyatnikova).
  • to
  • Very much liked your first number though to bring the children in any way and will not gather, afraid of difficulties, probably (it from China the reader).
  • I have
  • no stories about kids yet, just want to thank for creation of such strange mailing (Katya).
  • the
  • Mailing about children was pleasant, it would only be necessary that from many authors there was it everything. I hope that it is only the first release such that only the author of mailing writes about the children. Likely you will have still publications from other parents (Denis).
  • by
  • it is Fine conceived, I congratulate! (without tricks) (Slava).
  • “Baby talk“ Subscribed to your newsletter. After the first release regretted not
    yet:-). Continue please your work - it is interesting (Yushchuk Vitaly, Ukraine).
  • you started the
  • Good business. God grant good luck (Yury).
  • ... absolutely forgot to tell. I liked the first release! THANKS! (mother Lena, Chelyabinsk).
  • Hi, father Seryozha!
    Touching and lovely page. It was possible - still to dilute with photos (alya).

generally, companions parents, inspired you me.
is pleasant, devilishly pleasant...

of All good to you and your children,
father Seryozha

(C) 2000 Vorobyov Sergey
(C) 2000 Artemyeva Olga

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