Late pregnancy: the psychological aspect of
All the known saying says:“ Better late than never“. We easily pronounce these words in different occasions nearly an every day. And what if the speech comes about the child`s birth? Here you prizadumatsya involuntarily. When in this case “late“? When for the first time you are going to become mother in 40, in 30 or maybe in 28 years?
the Theory and life
the century public stereotypes which Sat down at subconsciousness draw an image of the ideal pervorodyashchy woman: the very young, healthy girl of years 20 - 23 who is not burdened by problems of “a gain of a place in the sun“ married. It is good if someone from us can refer himself to this category, but such for certain it is a little.
to It the reasons are. On the one hand, the most favorable genital period (20 - 25 years) falls on student`s years or time of receiving other education, i.e. for the period of professional self-determination. Then - search of the worthy place of work, need “to be hooked for life“. And on a career ladder as it is sad, difficult to rise with a pot-belly.
on the other hand - problems with health. It is no secret that conception of the long-awaited kid at many women is preceded by long treatment. If to consider that the situation with prevalence of the diagnosis “infertility“ is close to catastrophic now, then a lot of time leaves on treatment of infertility - and not only time, but also money, both forces, and emotions when the hope is replaced by disappointment - and so not once. And after long-awaited and at times the gained pregnancy came, - to face very formalistic approach when you are carried easily to starorodyashchy and, it seems, your problems are defined by it. And if treatment of infertility did not bear fruit and there was one exit - EKO? One attempt of EKO gives chance to become pregnant only for 20 - 30% therefore seldom at whom pregnancy works well from the first. Third, fourth, fifth attempt at all not a rarity; this time, forces, material inputs which can postpone desired pregnancy for several years., of course, the man, but not simply “a biological individual“, and darling and the loving person, reliable, clever, strong, i.e. the most suitable candidacy for a role of the father is necessary for
I for birth of the kid.
generally, almost each future mother has the, often the difficult history preceding pregnancy. And what the woman when, coming to consultation, she hears in the address “You at Us - Elderly Pervorodyashchy“ or, even worse, “starorodyashchy“ has to feel?
One pregnant women, reluctantly and having hidden far away the offenses, carry out medical instructions. Others just refuse to visit the doctor, begin “to lose“ the directions on analyses and inspections, resort to services only of the commercial medical centers.
“Age pervorodyashchy“ - the diagnosis or a label?the Woman can perfectly look and feel
young not only in 20 years, but also in 30, and in 40 years, however functions of a child-bearing correspond all - not to external data, but age. Relatively recently the women who for the first time are giving birth after 30 years began to be called “age pervorodyashchy“ (before they were “elderly pervorodyashchy“). In Russia it is the official obstetric diagnosis which is surely entered in the clinical record. Abroad such diagnosis does not exist because in the European countries and in America the average age threshold of first labor is much higher.
But we - that live here and today! How to treat to future mother such “label“ of official medicine how to react to the relation of doctors?
Irina, 28: “Consciously I never postponed the birth of the kid, was just like that died. In marriage I, to the general measures, left late, in 27 years when at my many friends was already on two children. My husband (to him already for 30) - the person who took place, a lot of things saw therefore he very much values a family and wanted kids: a family without children - not a family. What happiness were for us test results on pregnancy! But in consultation where I arrived as on wings, the doctor was other opinion: “Old cotton wool you for the firstborn! That earlier - did not give rise to that, she is married! Efforts with you you will not be gathered now... Well, all right, let`s the card get“ .If to you be not
thirty years old yet, then “age“ pervorodyashchy you do not get to category therefore epithets, similar given above (“old cotton wool“, “rather late“ and so forth) to you are inapplicable. Of course, the doctor too the person taking rich life experience and an independent stand. Another thing is that, by rules of medical and just elementary human ethics, carrying out the professional duties, the doctor has to keep the personal opinion around and to be open-minded about the patient. And especially unacceptably open condemnation (not important even, there are on that valid reasons or, especially, they are absent)!
on the other hand, all future mothers know that during pregnancy they become especially psychologically vulnerable, feel own vulnerability. And it, as a rule, does not depend neither on degree of financial security of the woman, nor on her relations with the partner. Reasons of such state different: it and the rough hormonal changes happening in the pregnant woman`s organism and the destabilizing emotional background, and impossibility to control such unusual changes happening to own body and also understanding of value and fragility of life of future kid and the full responsibility for it.
of “Safety rule“
Unfortunately, our vital realities are that what to choose from a great number of experts or not all pregnant women can visit the expensive medical centers. Therefore for preservation of own mental health and that the main thing, for wellbeing of the kid, future mother needs to change the relation to the events. Visiting a maternity welfare unit, you remember that:you do to
- it for the kid because already you care for it. You have to make every effort for the birth of the healthy child. Regular visit of the doctor - one of the main conditions for this purpose!
- Everything in life has the beginning and the end. When you come to delivery room and furthermore give birth long-awaited to the baby, you do not remember “an okha any more - sighs“ your doctor on the fact that to you already for twenty. To you will be at all not before!
- If tactless words of the doctor caused in you offense, think why you so reacted to them? Are proud of motherhood, this great happiness and a cherished dream of many women! What to you to someone? It is your life! You will become a mother soon! Through one - two visits your relations with the doctor are normalized by
- if, of course, specially not to focus attention on possible misunderstanding and mutual misunderstanding at the first meeting. Any doctor specially will not foment the conflict with the patient.
But one business - when the doctor once afforded tactlessness in relation to you, or you broke and told superfluous, from - for what visit of the doctor left an unpleasant deposit. And absolutely another - when the doctor is regularly inattentive, does not answer your questions, is rude and so forth. With it it is not necessary to be reconciled at all! If there is opportunity - be observed at other expert. If is not present - having quietly formulated the main claims to the doctor, appeal to the manager of a maternity welfare unit to resolve the arisen conflict. Excess disorders and concern to you it is perfect to anything.
to minimize misunderstanding in a medical office and to derive a benefit maximum from visit of the doctor, follow the simple rules:Write down
- and remember as call yours the doctor and the nurse. During visit you speak clearly and accurately, addressing the doctor on a name and a middle name. Be elementary polite
- : use words “hello“, “good-bye“ and “thanks“. Before coming into an office - knock, and having received the invitation to enter, be built and organized - do not delay in the doorway, stuffing things into pockets or collecting the scattered directions. All questions which you want to set to the doctor write down
- in a notebook in advance, and on reception do not hesitate to look in it. Too it is better for recommendation of the doctor to write down at once: in the situation concerning you you should not hope for memory.
- do not hesitate to ask again something, to specify at the doctor if not everything is clear to you. You remember: you have full authority to know the purpose of any medical appointment! ask Sami`s
- the questions interesting you. If any medicine did not help or you felt worse, - do not hush up this fact. The doctor will not take offense, and you risk own health and health of future kid. time when she is able to make tests, to pass inspection, etc. that on reception there were no long altercations with the nurse and the doctor concerning terms of carrying out necessary actions is better to define
- of the Working pregnant woman in advance.
Mature age - not only minuses...
we will talk Now about those cases when to you it is valid for thirty and obstetricians - gynecologists by the criteria rightfully carry you to “age pervorodyashchy“. You understand that the doctor does not aim to offend you or once again to remind you of your age. This obstetric diagnosis concerns not to you as to the personality, and to features of a course of your pregnancy. For you not a secret that pregnancy and childbirth after 35 - 40 years proceed with complications more often, than, say, at 22 - 25 - summer women. Being going to become mother, you, most likely, were interested in features of late pregnancies and after careful consideration approached incubation of the kid. Usually mature mothers regularly watch over the health, know the infectious status and a hormonal background even before pregnancy. After conception of the kid they are registered earlier and carefully carry out medical appointments. As doctors obstetricians - gynecologists note, most of women are more senior than 30 years much more responsibly than young people belong to the pregnancy and childbirth. Therefore offense and chagrin - at all not those feelings which the woman bearing the first kid has to test.
In life the mass of examples when absolutely not young mother expects the birth of the firstborn is. But how it was died whenever your desired and long-awaited kid was born, you remember that accidents do not happen. Children are always born in time! And at mother who is giving birth to the firstborn in 40 years as well as at mother who is giving birth for the first time in 25 the motherhood changes life and makes the woman most happy.