To report the situation of
is considered to be that it is bad to peach. Why the child has a desire to inform adults on what is done by peers? And what else image the kid can learn from parents, the bad or good act is made by those about whom he tells?
At the three-year-old child the consciousness is in a formation stage. The kid can estimate an act, only looking at reaction of adults. When he tells parents or the tutor: “Kolya pushed off me from a swing, and there was my turn“, actually tries to express two thoughts: to report about injustice and to learn whether what was made by Kolya is valid, - it is bad. On the other hand, if the child complains too often, it can enrage anyone. But anyway it is impossible to wave away from children. It is better to try to understand what stands behind it.
the Situation 1
In kindergarten little Olya complains to the teacher:“ And Dima took away a toy from Sveta“. The teacher quietly answers her: “It is bad to peach!“ - also continues to go about the own business. Olya draws a conclusion: to tell the adult about injustice it is useless. There is no hope for protection. Besides, it is possible to receive censure also. It is not excluded that it will affect also her behavior in the future. Perhaps, partly therefore already at adult age our fellow citizens so reluctantly call in militia to report about obvious violations of the law. What to do? It is necessary to understand each similar case. But at all not to react thus:“ Ah it bad, now I will punish him“. This situation has no relation to justice. Talk to children, find out how the situation was actually, and offer them behavior options, for example to play in turn or to be engaged in another not less interesting matter. But do not neglect a situation at all. Dima has to know permissibility borders accurately too.Sitaution`s
Yana follows on heels the tutor and regularly reports: “And Vanya washes hands only on the one hand“, “Danila has different socks“, “And Katya did not take off boots when she came into group“. Try to understand what moves the child. As a rule, such behavior is peculiar to children with the underestimated self-assessment. It seems to them that they it is worse than others therefore do not pay them attention. And very much seek to show to adults: “You look, I help you, unless you do not see how I am important? I am better than other children with whom you communicate more!“ What to do? First of all to Yana it is necessary to talk about how it is necessary to the rest. But it will be much better if she proves it in practice. You are convinced how easily after that will be to switch the girl to positive activity.
- For example, it it is possible to make responsible for check of hands before a lunch. However, at the same time it is necessary to stipulate in detail its role that the baby did not overestimate own importance. All children will have to show it hands, and it rightfully, without peaching, aloud will be able to tell:“ Vanya, go once again wash up hands, they are dirty. If you do not trust me, approach Irina Petrovna and ask her“. It is possible to make the child responsible for an order that he could organize cleaning of toys before leaving on walk. Or the senior on watering of flowers or feeding of birdies. And it is obligatory to praise for all well executed affairs. The child will feel necessary and necessary. Its energy will be partially subdued by this activity. And, above all, it will have a behavior model on the future as it is better to deserve attention: not petty complaints, but good affairs. And the desire “to report“ to draw attention to itself, will be gone.
Three-year-old Nikita approaches
mother and confidentially reports: “And Dasha took candies from a table!“ There can be two reasons. The first - the boy himself very much wants to take sweet, but is afraid of punishment. Therefore reports about actions of the sister and quietly waits for reaction of the adult. If mother does not become angry, so it is possible to take candies, and it will immediately go to a table. The second reason - Nikita becomes angry about Dasha and wants to punish her, but by means of mother. Perhaps, the sister does not want to play with it or does not take it with herself on walk. Anyway the brother tries to find on it a justice. What to do? Try to answer everything immediately. Explain, for example, that it is impossible to take candies before a lunch because it can affect appetite. And here after a lunch it is possible. The sister should repeat the same so that the kid understood: you do not abuse it, and sincerely worry about its health. Useful will be to understand how often the boy complains of the sister on trifles. If it is rare, then he really just wanted to take candies. If it is frequent, it is time to take measures. It is necessary to explain in very soft form to the boy that you will not react as he wants. Tell it: “You can make a mistake too. And it is for certain very unpleasant to you when I am so told here about you. You want to be on friendly terms with Dasha!“ Try to simulate situations in which it will be interesting to children to play together.
the Situation 4
Brothers walk on the street, and younger runs up with the complaint:“ Mother, he never allows me to ride a bike! And mother perfectly knows that it is a lie. To say to the son that he is not right, in this case it is useless. It is possible to establish, of course, strict sequence, to watch time, but complaints will not stop. The reason not in the bicycle, and that between two brothers there is always a competition. And it is normal. They are two, and to one of them at some moment will surely seem that it is loved less. It will begin to do something it is better to seem and by that to win round parents. From here its categorical “never“ and unwillingness to solve a problem with bicycle without parents. What to do? In this case parents should remember with which of children they spend more time. Often they do not want to admit to themselves that their attention is not always distributed equally. If one child “silent“, and another “noisy“, mother and the father who were tired after work prefer “silent“ because not in forces to sustain a pressure of “noisy“. And sometimes all family potters with one sick child, and the second does not know where to get to, and feels left. It gives rise feeling that it is necessary to be ill that you were loved. In families with two children the uniting family procedure is very important. When, for example, behind evening tea where there are all family members, everyone tells how there passed it day. Including mother with the father. When one of children starts talking, it is important to allow to him to express, not to allow to interrupt to children each other.by
If to look narrowly attentively, then it will become clear that complaints - not such trifle as it seems at first sight. This bright reflection of reaction of the adult to the child and his behavior. And depends on adults, their kid an informer will be or not.