To be a housewife is...
“Heavy cross“, - so with melancholy in eyes one women whom the compelled unemployment or will of the despot - the husband locked as slaves of life within four walls will tell.“ A happy opportunity to be constantly near relatives and to have completely itself and the time“, - without reflecting, others will answer.House galleys
Not so long ago meticulous British loving, as we know, an order in everything counted
that work of the average British housewife costs 28 thousand pounds sterling a year. At what sum daily efforts plus care of children and the husband of our unemployed women are estimated until nobody counted. But if to consider that in many Russian families there are no vacuum cleaners, dishwashing and washing machines, and service by not everyone on means, their productivity precisely is not less, than at the European colleagues.
Since the doctrine about “Domestic tyranny“ in our fatherland the attitude of men towards the wives at best was patronizing - haughty: the woman has to keep the house in a perfect order and wait from service, war, hunting of the husband, and other supposedly not for her mind business. However (when it was favorable to the stronger sex), to it it was permitted also a horse at full tilt to stop, and to enter the burning log hut. For last centuries in Russia changed little. And today it is possible to see how women in orange jackets overstrain on a roadwork, and their colleagues - men sit next and smoke, without forgetting to give useful tips.
At the same time prestige of house work on? to former it is very low. I want to give a short fragment from the letter of the Muscovite Irina Zubkova in one popular female magazine as an example:“ My husband Igor always had well paid work, and I after teacher training college taught at school. You know salaries at teachers what. After the child`s birth Igor suggested me to leave school that “as it is necessary“ to be engaged in the child and the house. The husband even for fun told me that there is no need to go to service for such ridiculous money and he will pay me my teacher`s salary. In the beginning I was delighted as at heart the stay-at-home and with pleasure I perform work on economy. And it is valid, in the beginning everything went very well: I sat with the son, made for the husband tasty dinners, was aware of all series. But passed what? that time, and Igor strongly to me was changed. Once returned in the evening and asks: “Well, and what you today all day were engaged?“ I answer it: “As always, cleaned up, walked from Aleshkaya, erased, cooked food“. And he concludes with a grin:“ It is clear. As usual, did nothing“. Therefore if it seemed to me earlier: the husband presented me an opportunity to be a good wife, mother, but not to be broken off between school and the house, now I understand that I actually got to a trap“.
From the point of view of psychology the author of the letter fell a victim of a so-called syndrome of the housewife. If in the West a similar social role - absolutely normal option of female destiny, then at us is the unemployed wife quite often from the very beginning or through what? that time begins to be perceived by the man as the good-for-nothing dependent - a darmoyedka. However, and abroad when? that leaders of feminist movement in the violent fight for the equal rights nearly anathematized a traditional role of the spouse - keepers of a home. But gradually radical foam subsided and against economic prosperity of Europe and the USA harmony of different opportunities triumphed. Today will come to nobody to mind any more to arrange persecution on dear scientists supporting idea about biological mission of floors with practical researches and statistical data. For example, the basis of social ideology of the Western world was formed by Tolkott Parsons`s theory explaining what to the woman the nature is intended to be good mother, the spouse and the housewife. And any protivleniye of the essence can cause it a serious psychological and physical loss. Of course, I will give, firmly aimed at career, similar scientific calculations not to bring down from a way: for them as a guiding star and a psychological dope serve theoretical calculations of other scientists. But those wives who were always ready to devote themselves to a family and the house with gratitude apprehended Parsons`s theory and with full confidence in the highest correctness stayed at home.
However it at them. At us the heritage of Soviet period with idea of the woman as about a full-fledged production facility is still strong (which, however, can be paid less, than the man). And the mountain of that which at not too clever and delicate spouse lost equal situation with it. Humility and, as a result, full apathy will be the most sad option for it which is not satisfied with own status. Sometimes she just is afraid to take a responsible step and to declare the personal needs, by inertia continuing to pull the grown hateful strap of economy long ago. Alas, the similar victim house is usually not appreciated and even not noticed. Years leave, and it is harder and harder to be solved on cardinal changes to the woman.
Such ladies, often spouses of rich people, become clients of psychoanalysts. In the recent past the lucky women who caught new Russians, over time they become hostages of the proprietary relation of husbands to all personal and real estate. To these women to decide on open mutiny even more difficult: not many are ready to lose the gold cage. Much in more advantageous position - those who are in rather good professional form and are not afraid that they earned neither an experience, nor pension yet.
the Happy lot
However, is women who just dream to be engaged in the house and, having had such opportunity, haughtily glance at the girlfriends forced to reach every morning in the crowded transport the place of work. For housewives on calling process of “professional“ education of own children - a holiday which is always with them. Others adore cooking, constantly indulging the husband and guests the exotic dishes prepared according to the rare recipes read in what? nibud to the ancient recipe-book. The third derive erotic pleasure, indulging all whims of “padishah“. The fourth do not become isolated only on the house, using the freedom from official duties on various hobbies and care about own health and appearance. Quite often the role of “the chief of the back“ which is voluntarily undertaken by the lady as a result brings to a family and her much more advantage, including material than if she chose a way, habitual for our society, of the working woman. > But here it is important to p to understand
: to dare luxury not to go to service it is possible, only if the husband decently earns. Possibly, with improvement of an economic situation in our country of such families will become more. And the attitude towards housewives will change for the better. So far domestic legislators, probably, are not ready to adopt the laws providing social protection of this category of women. And meanwhile today, according to Goskomstat, in Russia there are more than 5 million housewives.Scientific approach
that this eternal whirl on the house will send me to the grave to term“, - to me the neigbour in a staircase, 53 - the summer woman of a fresh complexion holding the members of household in hand quite often complains. And I, of course, every time sympathetically assent to it, perfectly understanding: if it did not have all these problems with the husband, children and grandsons, it immediately would replace them with what? nibud new that further with “disastrous delight“ to revel in own sufferings, and at the same time to squeeze out sympathy of people around. Such “great martyrs“ who are eternally hurrying and constantly not filling up, defiantly ignoring the interests often complain of difficult, uninteresting life, absence of gratitude from relatives, “on an altar of which they put themselves“. Their trouble is that they perceive homework as a heavy cross. But and those who of own will and with enthusiasm are engaged in economy often too much are not in time. In what business? Just any work, and house especially as it unrationed, demands the correct planning. And the main secret here in the correct alternation of loading and rest. American F.? Taylor serving at one time as the engineer in the large steelmaking company created system of the scientific organization of work. As experiment he offered the unskilled worker whose duties were rather heavy and monotonous, to work one change under the direction of a timekeeper. The last constantly was near a stop watch in hands and ordered: “Take this box with preparations and go... Now sit down and have a rest... Work... Have a rest...“ The result of experiment set owners of the company thinking: for change only one this person transferred freight four times more, than usually, but the most interesting - he was almost not tired. It turned out that we are capable to work much more effectively if we have regularly a rest before we feel exhaustion. Avoid tension and fatigue, the popular American psychologist Dale Carnegie advised housewives. Nothing so ages the woman and deprives of her appeal, he considered how continuous haste and a stress from? for incorrectly organized work. And ladies who carry out only household chores can freely plan the day and find a little free time for themselves.
For a start does not need to try, having gritted teeth, one calling to perform all work - do breaks between household chores more often: lay down on a sofa, look through the magazine, call the girlfriend, put a mask on a face or even execute one - two warm-up exercises. Similar measures will allow to remove stress. Very well the special, adapted for inhabitants of the West exercises from a course of a hatkh - yogas, meditation help to support a positive tone - will teach you to it on special courses. By the way, their visit too a good way to distract from obsession with household problems.the Routine, lack of positive emotions, as we know, tire with
and work depressively. Physiologists came to conclusion long ago: when the person is engaged in boring work, he worsens a metabolism (the problems with weight spoiling mood to many housewives from here), consumption by an oxygen organism considerably decreases, and as a result the brain and heart begin to knock. Therefore it is useful “to massage“ slightly own mentality, having turned a usual thing into a hazardous adventure. For example, being going to iron a huge a lot of linen, try to keep within the taken-away interval of time. Set an alarm clock and... ready, set, go! If you won in this race against time, surely reward as? nibud: eat what? nibud tasty or arrange an unplanned half-hour break with viewing of interesting transfer. Of course, constantly it is not necessary to work under tick of hours - the principle is important. One American traveler who for the first time visited China was struck with abundance of happy faces in the poorest district of Shanghai. When the guide accompanying it explained that these sincerely smiling people receive for the heavy work without days off in transfer to the American currency slightly more than one dollar, to amazement of the Yankee just there was no end. Even in its native land with the cult of external wellbeing reigning everywhere people were not able to enjoy life so. Conclusion simple: you study at Chinese of ability to be happy and try to apply to everything creative approach.spend
some more minutes Now and count, what is the time on average at you leaves on usual things: washing of ware, preparation of a lunch, visit of grocery store. Make the plate (it is possible to use at the same time the computer Excel program) and enter in it the obtained data. So it will be easier for you to operate in the afternoon, in advance to plan it.
Scientists proved that the person is capable to work fully seven - eight hours a day. But most of ladies make feats in the mode of a constant work involving all hands and often exhaust themselves. Housewives with an experience like to compare to bitter irony themselves with horses whom are exploited. However the modern woman has no need to live on wear. Having chronometric calculations before eyes, it is possible to plan so the future day (week) that there will be time not only for face care, hands, hair, but also on visit of a gym, beauty shop, courses on instruction of driving of the car etc.
How to earn without separation from the house
It is no secret that many women - authors of best-sellers are in combination housewives. It is possible to find one million ways to earn money, staying at home with children, for example - to conduct accounts department, to sew, embroider, knit, form the dough into figures, to work as the home phone dispatcher, to teach private lessons, to compose verses to anniversaries and holidays. The main thing - desire to earn money, remaining at the same time the keeper of the center. Here is how this problem was solved by the resident of Khimki situated near Moscow Irina Selivanova:
“I have two sons. The senior Seryozha is one and a half years old, and younger Ivan is seven months old. The husband at me plows at two works to support us, but all the same there is not enough money. And two months ago I found a way as, without throwing children on the sick grandmother to bring an essential contribution in the family budget. Ten years ago I graduated from the Moscow institute of engineers of transport and though in the specialty fulfilled only half a year, theoretical knowledge remained - I studied not bad. I approached development of the plan of operation with the maximum care: visited the sites on the Internet on which offer services in writing of papers, participated in electronic conferences on this subject, communicated to students - children of acquaintances. Soon I already had a certain notion of requirements of the market and the average prices. Further I made for myself the list of educational institutions which I“ will “hill“ (by then my announcements already appeared on specialized boards in the RuNet). Having visited higher education institutions, I stuck announcements that I write papers, diplomas, course in any humanitarian and some technical objects. Though at the beginning I politely refused some offers because of absolute inexperience in the offered subjects, experience of fast development of new knowledge came over time and the healthy impudence appeared. Now I safely undertake practically any work: life forced me to understand laws on accounting, in the history of Byzantium, Kant`s philosophy, exchange rates, inflation and the concept “economic crime“. Everything that from me was required, - the personal computer connected to the Network, the subscription in public library and several hours of time daily which I easily find thanks to accurate planning of the day. At the moment I already had the circle of customers, many clients happy with the performed work give my phone to the friends so to complain of life - a sin“.it is visible to
From this example that for the person with the imagination and character to be left without earnings in such large megalopolis what Moscow is, it is necessary to try very much. If you do not feel in yourself resolutely any talents, it is worth using services of one of specialized training centers. For example, in the Female business center at the Moscow employment service there is the whole structure - the Exchange of home work. It is created especially for those who wish to be engaged in sewing, or to work as knitting, national crafts at a home telephone number.
Secret envy of the stronger sex
Today many men forcedly or of own will stay at home to take care of children and economy while their spouses on service earn money. Moreover, according to sociologists, more and more men admit that they secretly or obviously envy women who are free from office slavery. People, with pleasure ready to change career for tranquil family pleasures, become more and more every year. For example, according to the British sociological service Mintel, to this categories belong not less than 40% of British. Today are only four of each focused on career. For many it is much more important to have an opportunity to spend in the bosom of the family more time, to be an owner of the time, to be relieved of eternal office stresses and need psychologically to adapt to colleagues and the administration.
Strangely enough, scientists found out that the number of the women and men dreaming of successful career, at the moment approximately equally. Probably, we who are quickly absorbing in themselves all European trends have same processes of leveling of traditional social roles (though, probably, nevertheless more slowly - for the objective reasons). And it is quite possible, by then, when the Russian deputies at last? will develop legal base for house work, will be able to use it not only women, but also the men able to keep the house and children in an ideal order while their darlings earn money on service.