How to be if the former love rusted?
Often happen in life: still a year ago it was presented to you by perfection top, unattainable dream which, about a miracle, became reality. Then, on honeymoons of the concerning cognition of each other, appear, that here it, happiness, there was also a wish that it proceeded to pension. But ecstasy time ended with love, everyday life stretched, and you began to notice its shortcomings with irritation and with desire to gaze about... Alas, but even the most interesting, prestigious and highly paid occupations become boring sooner or later, and yesterday`s work - dream suddenly turns into unbearable galleys.Of course, mutiny against the bored reality is the simplest to lift
and to try to change professional credo. But, maybe, it is worth understanding the true reasons of the discontent with everyday life?
Ah this mocker - spring!
in the Spring we quite often have desire something abruptly to change in the life, to throw old for freedom and to begin life anew that this time to make everything as it is necessary, - with a blank sheet and without blots. Carefully! Emotional splash will take place soon, and together with thoughtlessly left work means of livelihood and confidence in tomorrow will leave, in exchange there will be a service record and feeling of perfect nonsense.
the Typical symptom of spring - the melancholy coming together with avitaminosis, to be exact, being its consequence. Psychologists warn: it is impossible to follow the tastes of own pessimistic mood, it is better to postpone adoption of important decisions for a month - another for now it is necessary to help an organism to be restored after winter colds, to get energy and solar optimism. Moreover, according to experts, spring apathy carries out a role - similar to a safety lock role in an electric chain: it does not allow the human body which weakened during the winter to break from excessive psychological and physical activities. So it is quite possible, your discontent with the work - only a consequence of decrease in a tone of an organism. Try to switch from gloomy thoughts to something neutrally pleasant. If recently you constantly overworked, arrange to yourself several unloading weeks: do not sit up on service, pay more attention to physical activities, especially swimming, skis, jogging, walks before going to bed, surely go with close people to theater, at cinema. And here we do not recommend to lift the tone by means of visit of noisy pleasure actions. Also you should not try to overcome spring melancholy by means of reception of excessive doses of coffee and alcohol.
Of course, an ideal solution. By the way, skilled lady`s men quite so treat the girlfriends who bored them, expecting to revive the cooled-down feelings upon return. Than not a way to return sympathies of the management and colleagues? Besides fresh sea or mountain air will be aired by your brains, and most likely after such respite you will begin to look at the world absolutely other eyes.
And that if...
How to learn whether you outgrew, really, the current work? The inexperienced beginner and the experienced pro are as speak in Odessa, two big differences, and vital inquiries at them, naturally, different, life defines consciousness. The famous psychologist - the researcher Maslou proved that there is a hierarchy of requirements. That is if for feeling of entire happiness it is enough to recent graduate of not too prestigious higher education institution to get a job which will provide it social security and at least the minimum vital comfort which is expressed in normal food, existence of any clothes, housing and a small amount of money for entertainments, then the expensive professional does not think of satisfaction of the physiological requirements any more. For the good expert knowing the own worth besides money (which, naturally, has to be enough for maintenance of the standard of living corresponding to the status of the worker) the importance is got by such values as self-esteem and respect from people around, the maximum realization of creative potential, feeling of career development etc.Maslou`s
claims that if the person outgrew the requirements over time, but did not receive the desirable, then in his soul inevitably there will be a conflict. In other words, if you precisely know that on service you are clamped for quite some time now, without allowing you to show the best professional qualities and without paying you tribute as to the expert, then you should not cling to similar work really, otherwise the frustration (the psychological stress arising at impossibility to receive the desirable) will inevitably gain nature of chronic discontent with, people around and life in general. And in order that it was easier for you to analyse current situation, attentively check the list of the symptoms indicating that your office situation has symptoms of a chronic illness given below.
- the Management excessively controls your activity, interfering literally with each trifle. by
- U you lost contact with the chief long ago, and you do not hope to restore the lost mutual understanding any more (though at competent approach in many cases it is possible to make it nevertheless). Recently to you do not trust
- serious and responsible work which you are capable to execute in time and at the high professional level. are considered as you as
- C not only a little at adoption of important strategic decisions, but also even in such trifles as distribution of terms of holidays.
- the Head and some colleagues allow in your address (in eyes or for eyes) incorrect statements.
If in the specified list you found more than two compliances - your problem is really rather serious. But all the same you do not hurry to write the notice of resignation as it is the simplest and not the most effective recovery from the crisis. You never reflected why, on official statistics, two of everyone three got married in Russia break up within the first year of joint life? Correctly: the matter is that most of people are not able or do not want to agree and that do not wish to be engaged in introspection more. It is much simpler to leave for himself a huff and to expect a call from the new employers impressed with your summary: “Excellent athlete, character Nordic, etc.“ . Nevertheless everyone in life happens and searches of the suitable place can drag on. Therefore we will try to give to the chief and colleagues who underestimated your talents, and at the same time and themselves - one more chance to improve situation.
undertake everything softly
teachers of oriental martial arts, in particular So advise the pupils aikido. You have to understand that your problems arose not at once, and most likely turned out to be consequence of the whole chain allowed for months or even years of big and small misses - both in affairs, and in the relations with people. Therefore you should not try to solve them in one day and with one blow. If your work is really expensive to you, stock up with patience and be prudent. Pay special attention to restoration of the relations with the management. Of course, in this case it is possible to be guided by the known east wisdom saying that is not obligatory at all with risk for life personally to deal with the enemy, it is enough to show patience and to wait on the river bank of the moment when its corpse floats by you. I hope that you will not use this recommendation, and you will find more constructive and, the main thing, philanthropic ways to establish relations with the administration. For example, the famous American psychologist Julius Hendris as a crisis response solution usually recommends to the clients to take more active and friendly position in the relations with the chief: not to hesitate to go to it to an office for discussion of professional questions, and in passing to try to grope everyday subjects on which it would be interesting to you to talk; to safely advertize the progress; to offer interesting ideas etc. In a word, it is necessary to do everything to change the adverse opinion on your person created at the boss. The main thing, you should not go into extremes and to accuse of the events only the management or colleagues who did not consider in you the workaholic with soul of an angel. It is quite possible that you really made serious mistakes in behavior, for example, too much time dealt with the problems in working hours. Or constantly distracted for performance of minor orders of fellow workers who were glad to dump the duties on others shoulders. It is not excluded what you by levity or from surplus of arrogance constantly ignored some corporate ritual existing at your office and, for example, instead of going to have dinner together with all, ate where? nibud on the party in proud loneliness. Sometimes even one it, seemingly absolutely insignificant, the fact happens enough to deserve in the opinion of colleagues reputation of the closed arrogant man. Well, now it is a high time to reveal and correct the made mistakes.
Three simple councils on the subject of how to change negative idea of the work
Council the first . If you feel that work on a limit of forces does not bring you joy, and on the contrary, squeezes out of you all vital juice, change the relation to performance of especially important and especially urgent tasks of the management. The matter is that there are people who on the temperament physiologically need that they were constantly stimulated with heavy responsibility and rigid terms of performance of tasks. For similar zingers mad rate of work on a limit of forces and on high heat of risk - the same that for the stuntman or the racer the events in danger epicenter - adrenalinic injection in blood. But all people different, and what for one is the sharpest high is capable to bring another to a preinfarction angina. Therefore if you the person of quieter temper, do not try constantly to force to work in a superintensive rhythm unusual for you. And the excess cup of strong coffee or other dope hardly for a long time will turn you into the high-speed car, and rather will only bring closer the approaching feeling of full exinanition and dissatisfaction with the received results. Therefore dare to be oneself, relax (for this purpose well to use the simplest methods of auto-training) and work in the pleasure. If you begin to be under psychological pressure from the impatient management expecting immediate results, then can (so, by the way) to motivate the slowness and validity with the reference to results of recent researches of the British scientists who experimentally and statistically proved that in most cases the excessive desire quickly and ideally to perform a task leads to opposite result: quality of work almost always suffers from excessive haste.
Of course, in this case this is not about incidental cases when the employee for the objective reasons has to show a maximum of efforts and to work in a busy schedule of brainstorming during what? that a short interval of time, for example for the benefit of obtaining the favorable order, and about a chronic situation of the sudorific system imposed to employees by the management.
Council of the second . You are tired by the road to service and back? Not subtly - the transport fatigue makes the life miserable of millions of people around the world. Of course, change of work with that that it is located closer to your house would be a radical method. But it is hardly worth demanding from life of absolute comfort, besides we agreed that we will not begin to hurry with drastic measures. Therefore, remembering the main principle of aikido, we will start a solution softly, that is for a start we will try to find a way out, without making sharp movements. So, if the traditional route to service bores on you, try to find other way which will seem to you pleasant. That who reaches on post-horses, we will advise to go, for example, through other metro stations or to use other routes of buses, trams, trolleybuses. Perhaps, so will leave quicker, more conveniently and more interestingly. It is also quite good if on the new route you have to do informal stops which will turn into an element of your personal ritual over time. So, many prefer to buy on the way to service newspapers and magazines in the same booth, and to have a rest on the way back from office whirl behind a little table of favourite cafe. Sometimes even similar trifles are capable to diversify our life. To owners of cars, the sense at least part of a way is for hours standing in traffic jams on the way for work, too to play a role of the serene passenger.
However, it is possible to solve a problem, having changed or having removed housing is closer to work, but it makes sense to do it if current work, really, is worth it.
Council the third . For you is intolerable anguish to rise every morning at seven in the morning under hated trills of an alarm clock. The people belonging to physiological type of owls consider this problem especially heavy. Let`s recommend to them to talk to the chief about change of the individual mode of the working day towards lengthening of its second half. In the companies where think of productivity of the employees more, than about observance of firm laws of labor discipline by them, for certain will meet requirements of you. And if about change of a day regimen out of the question, try to deceive the organism, having arranged from a daily morning nightmare a small holiday for themselves, darling: after a call of an alarm clock of minutes ten let`s themselves roll about in a bed at the turned-on light (only do not fall asleep again!) then take a bath with aromatic foam, and for breakfast eat only the most tasty. Hits from a gold collection have to become a musical background for you only. There is no wish to go for a walk with a favourite dog? Also it is not necessary - let it will be made by those your members of household to whom morning reveille is given easier. There is no desire to make a bed? Yes do not force yourself such trifles!main - try to be switched by
I from constant gloomy thoughts of how all this bothered you and when at last daily penal servitude, on what ends? nibud positive, for example, reflect on how interestingly you will spend the next evening with friends or as it would be good to invite to have dinner together the brand new employee from the next department today.
However, this problem has also other decision - rise without sentimentality. However, not everyone will want to come back of own will to the army past and to voluntarily become the sadist? the sergeant in relation to. But after a week - another of vigorous awakenings with a contrast shower, jog and charging (if there is enough will and enthusiasm) it will be possible to resolve an issue once and for all. And, by the way, in most cases for successful career it is more preferable to be cheerfully - a lark, than the owl who is slowly shaken during all first half of the working day.
Try to change a little and to look in a different way at a situation - and you are surprised how sensitively life responds to the positive attitude towards her.