Treatment without chagrin of
the Most sad pages of parental experience are connected, certainly, with diseases of the child. To whom is this alarm mixed with infinite pity, desperate desire to help the native little man not familiar?! Which seems even more vulnerable and helpless now. The feeling of own fault pressing feeling of responsibility for the made decisions is right there added... So in parental soul there is the real storm from emotions and experiences. Despite conscious attempts to appease it, it is difficult to keep external calm. And the kid inevitably like this alarm: with it something not so! Loses feeling of safety and full confidence to the parent, strains. Watchfully expecting, than the unusual situation (for which the protective reaction dictated by a self-preservation instinct is laid already up) will turn back for it. It is not necessary to wait long, and the whole squall of unusual and strange manipulations under the general name “treatment“ falls upon the poor thing...
Not only that procedures often cause the known discomfort, at the same time they are still insistently obligatory, despite of will of the child. Naturally, there is a protest. Even at the most tender address. Any arrangements all the same pursue the purpose to incline or induce to execution the stranger (in this case parental) will. Refusing the. Besides, especially soft and sympathetic relation of adults only confirms fear of the kid in own trouble. Owing to what protective reaction still amplifies. And if to consider that many types of treatment are really very unpleasant or painful? Then that the child has a double physical stress (from an illness and treatment), and considerable mental still joins it! Whether there is exit? How to help darling the baby?.to
Krom of a wish of health to your kid, I want to offer some reasons based on personal experience of mother.
In - the first , it is necessary to relieve the child of feeling of uncertainty. It generates uncertainty and fear. Therefore the kid should explain in an available form events highlights with it and around it.
From here second . Not to deceive the child at all. On the contrary, to try to anticipate events authentic explanations. Having convinced that parents control a situation, the child will feel big safety. And predictability of events will give it confidence.
B - the third . It is desirable to transfer the child from a passive condition of the perceiving action over itself to the active figure. It will allow to redirect forces of protective reaction to the necessary course. At the same time and will serve in the educational purposes, by the way.
Eventually, fourth condition. To cause desire to work as necessary in the child. It is easy to guess that performance of all previous for this purpose is necessary. And if it is reached - sharpness of a problem considerably falls down. Even if the kid is not able to cope up to the end with the fears and it “is necessary“ to take the plunge towards to unpleasant - under the motto. But the mental trauma will not be such strong any more.
Well, and fifth - rather additional effect of observance of these conditions which should be considered too. Now say more and more that the state of health of the person very much depends on his mood. Means, the baby and will recover quicker if she believes in herself !
It is important still, in my opinion, that the relations with parents at the same time will not suffer, and perhaps will even become stronger. For this purpose it is useful to apply a special form of expression of sympathy also. Psychologists call it “active hearing“. When to the child his experience in an assertive form comes back:“ Yes, bitter this medicine. Unpleasantly... “, “ You are afraid that it will be sick... “. It will allow to establish the confidential relations with the kid. Instead of underestimation of the importance of a problem, widespread in such cases: “Not it bitter, truth?.“, “There now, it is not sick at all!.“ What causes offense and disappointment, feeling of misunderstanding by parents of its feelings in the upset child.
A game receptions will help to satisfy other conditions to us, as usual. Here it is necessary to be guided by age of the child, level of understanding, knowledge. It is good to use his hobbies or objects of a particular interest. Having shown a little creativity, the child of difficult concepts can pick up suitable analogy for the explanation. Someone, perhaps, will have enough imagination even the fairy tale to compose on the run. Like a plot of the animated film “Petya and Mikrobus“. And the option is simpler - creation of some model, with use of make-shifts. It can be the usual drawing which is carried out together with the kid. In which necessary concepts are given a graphic representation. Or the dramatized statement of this sort.
I Will give examples of application of such method from the experience (with the three-year-old child). I will note that the son in general is interested in the device of everything, and in particular a human body. Therefore he is familiar not only with parts of a body, but also names of important bodies, their main functions and appointment. So many terms are habitual to it.
First example . Food poisoning, repeated vomiting, temperature. Unpleasant drugs, procedures... The oval - “as if a stomach“ is drawn on a sheet of paper. In it evil mugs of militant “microbes“. Together with the baby it is decided that to them to add as the weapon, we discuss their characters, we dream. We represent in the form of the river “blood“ to which these robbers dump the harmful substances “toxins“. Dynamically we trace this process. Orally I explain that from them - that just appears temperature (not to enter too many the distracting details).
Then is together represented as medicine fights against microbes: real battle (antibacterial preparation). And another is necessary for catching of toxins from blood - “it has such special networks“ (sorbent). But microbes are not given - all drugs (vomiting) try to push out back. And very much rejoice that the boy does not want to drink them again (I sound negotiations of microbes, showing on the picture). On the edge of a leaflet the nice mug of “medicine“ is drawn.“ It longs that it is not allowed to help the boy“.by
thought out with the son the cunning military plan (following the scheme of the treatment appointed by the doctor). According to it we need to lull into a false sense of security microbes for what to send the special agent (antivomitive). And so on. Thus, the child often himself made the necessary decision, agreed to unpleasant procedures easier. And all the time efficiently was interested as there are affairs in its organism, continuing to dream on the “victorious“ recovery.Other example is connected by
with need of carrying out to the child really unpleasant and painful the ENT SPECIALIST - procedures. Complexity still consisted that it was necessary to repeat it three times, with a break in a week. Imagining with horror as the kid will transfer all this, I decided to prepare it already for the first campaign. The medical problem was difficult. The benefit, our remarkable doctor considered it necessary to explain me quite in detail its mechanism. So my task was to pick up only the necessary symbols for evident representation to the kid.
I already two small pillows become “gate - tonsils“. On which viruses with microbes, in the form of a lump from a diaper with uniform small drawing make desperate attacks. Near “gate“ the immunity soft toy sleeps. The role well would be suitable for a doggie, perhaps. At first I play a situation of the healthy person: when “microbes“ are knocked on the closed “gate“, awake “immunity“ and are safely banished by it. Then illness option: when they manage to get for gate and to breed (the developed diaper). Showing fight of medicine against an illness, I note weak efficiency and side effects.
I here, from frequent diseases our “gate“ warped, the crack where microbes get now absolutely freely was formed. It is a culmination point (the real essence of our medical problem). With a sinking heart I wait for the answer to the question turned to the son: “What to do?“ And to the full delight I receive the sure application of the baby for need of “repair“. As was to be shown, as they say!Logical continuation the campaign scene to the doctor, with attributes in the form of a pocket mirror follows
(association for fixing of the necessary mood, or “anchor“ from the NLP). At the same time the child himself plays a role of the doctor, repairing gate by means of a long stick - “tool“. Then joyfully we note with it helplessness of microbes and we dream on pleasant opportunities of the healthy person (ice cream, etc.) .
On reception at the doctor the child himself specified nature of manipulation, having much surprised him with fidelity of understanding of a task. However, absolutely we did not manage to avoid tears and resistance at repeated visits nevertheless (from - for specifics of procedure). But the effect of preparation was obvious: at once upon termination of manipulation the son calmed down and got joyfully - high spirits. So we overcame very important and difficult course of treatment. Having made it in the conditions for mentality of the child which are most sparing, in my opinion.
P. S. When this material was already sent to editorial office of the magazine, we with the son had to pay visit to the “terrible“ doctor, for survey again. Frankly speaking, one mention of it caused a rough protest. It became clear to me: no last tricks will pass. The fresh decision is urgently necessary. And that, if...I Find
among toys a children`s medical set, solemnly I hand to the child with words:“ Give, you will be a doctor! You will come to the real doctor as the colleague, for council... “. The result was stunning for me: the child instantly switched and absolutely quietly went to policlinic! Having in details understood on the road a word meaning “colleague“, the kid with pleasure received confirmation to mother`s words from lips of the doctor: “Well, hi, colleague! How are you doing?“. Hurrah! We did without tears again: one more victory! I think, any mother will understand my feelings...I Will be glad to
if our experience is still useful to someone. I wish infinite stocks of love, patience and resourcefulness to all careful fathers and mothers who are interested in publications on education of children!Article from the magazine “Lisa. My child“ December, 2004