Rus Articles Journal

He, she and square meters of

Ya of people tolerant. And even very much. Best of all I am characterized by words of one literary hero:“ Yes it is possible to walk all over me... if to do everything in my opinion“. Therefore the idea of cohabitation with darling never frightened me. And what here it? To cook in the mornings two cups of coffee instead of one? Easily! Then also to wash these two cups? Well it is admissible. To erase for two? Let`s chip in together and will buy the washing machine. To iron men`s shirts? I hate! These collars, folds... But he coped somehow all these years? Means, itself is able to iron. And then, imagine: all equipment in the house works regularly, the screw-driver at random shaking in a hand into any artful design of provodok you do not stick, do not carry heavy bags any more, have not a talk with doubtful plumbers, to calls to a door there is a man at an inopportune time, and there is always a shoulder on which it is possible to cry and regret himself. Well, weight pro and almost any contra. It is solved, we gather!

the First weeks of joint life reminded

a honeymoon. However, the quantity of the bags, boxes and boxes attached to darling and which captivated the apartment surpassed my expectations a little. And he did not want to limit the breakfast to only one cup of coffee too for some reason. And refused to iron shirts flatly, gallantly reasoning it with what at me will turn out much better... And then time of revelations came.

Revelation the first. General bathroom. The fact that my elect has a passion to water procedures always seemed to me big plus. It is pleasant that it always such clean, ironed, scented. But earlier I saw only result, now I should contemplate also process. Generally, I did not manage to look back as all my graceful jars, tubes and flakonchik were squeezed in a far corner of a locker under powerful pressing of uncountable gels, lotions, colognes, shaving foam and after shave balm. Time which darling spent behind a bathroom door reached record and deprived of me hope to adjoin to water elements. The picture presented to my eyes after this ablution was not very comforting: on a floor - flood traces, under a ceiling - puffs of vapor, on walls - foam shreds.

of Corrective action. There was no wish to quarrel from - for similar trifles. To be reconciled with chaos too. Therefore we arrived as residents of a communal flat: allocated to everyone certain hours in which it can freely occupy a bathroom. At the same time to me, “owl“, got evening, and my half as to “lark“ - morning. For elimination of floods the special mop was acquired, and toothpaste began to be curtailed and be closed pedantically after I for the third time for the same week asked darling to buy a new tube as old dried up and does not function.

Revelation the second. Division of labor. Present: in the apartment there live two persons. Every morning they get up, have breakfast, go to work, in the evenings meet, on days off have a rest. Only one of them at the same time buys provisions, drags it home, realizes into various dishes, washes the dishes, erases, irons, cleans... And another for some reason is not present. And how it is called?

of Corrective action. At first I within a week complained of feeling sick in the mornings, and then ceased to make a breakfast if I did not need to get up at this time. Darling quickly mastered mode of work of the coffee maker and technology of preparation of fried eggs and toasts. Soon it became clear that he has nothing to put on as I had a blockage with work recently and just hands did not reach washing. And in the house the washing machine - the automatic machine appeared. In couple of days I - it is absolutely casual! - burned the iron a hole in his favourite shirt, and smoothed down trousers so a bit later that on them it appeared on several “strelochek“ from each party. Since then my dear person firmly stays in belief that his darling and the iron - the combination catastrophic, and all the things irons personally. And we wash the dishes in turn.

Revelation the third. It happened for the second month. The teapot begins to boil and cools down, the dinner from uncountable podogrevaniye reminds a heap of pieces of coal, I rush about from a window to phone. On the shining dial - the first one o`clock in the morning... The long-awaited silhouette appeared on a threshold only minutes through forty. At the same time looked happy and careless, and my question asked not in the softest form first of all surprised him.“ You what, worried? Well, why... I said that I sometimes will be late a little“.

of Corrective action. First of all I let know a difference between the arrival expected and unplanned. In the first case - a cosiness in the house, a hot dinner, all attention - it is exclusive to it. In the second - semi-finished products in the refrigerator, an artistic disorder everywhere and I who is continuously hanging on phone. This tactics brought undoubted results. And that to fix them, I few times unexpectedly came back home after midnight, very clearly expressing the total innocence and surprise: “How? I unless did not warn?!“ - and with silent satisfaction noting an open door on a balcony and the opened notebook with phones of all my friends.

Revelation the fourth. Quadrangular rival. A name to that monster - the TV. I do not know how it began, but even more often - in the morning and in the evening, upon return home or when awakening, behind food or during conversation - the hand of my elect reached for the control panel. And here still it became clear that our television addictions do not coincide at all. I want to watch the kind old movie - darling is torn to a news.

of Corrective action. To hide the panel? But channels can be changed and so. To buy the second TV? But for our small apartment it will be obvious search. Generally, I found a way out. Soon us will become three, and then disputes on a subject, the horror film or the melodrama, will not arise - all will begin to look obediently “Good night, kids!“ .

On it big revelations ended with

. And joint life goes on. Also is not present and Revelation the fifth and the last occurs to me - and we are created for each other...

the Joke

One girlfriend complains to a subject another:
- you Know, my husband all the time is late at work.
- And I accustomed to arrive on time the, - the second says.
- As?
- It came once, and I speak: “Sasha, why you today so late“...
- Well and that?
- So my husband is called Volodya.

the Husband at deaths door tells

to the wife:
- Darling I want to confess before death.
- Well you, darling, is not necessary, calm down. there is no
- - he says. - I want to facilitate soul. You know, I changed you with your sister.
- I Know, darling, do not worry, for it I also poisoned you.