Rus Articles Journal

How to do without organized excursions. Part III

Part 1 Part 2

the Country the third - India or “Sir, mine pips - that bridges did not part“

At once I will emphasize - not pips, but tips - tip, but Hindus so funny utter the English words... Example: I am interested at the administrator in sauna operating time, the answer - netoo tioti (there is no aunt). Orphan it. I ask to repeat, again - there is no aunt. I though to brag of colloquial English and I cannot, but bargain and force is normal to clean up the room if that, there is enough lexicon, and here - well I do not know that it “is not present the aunt“! Guessed: with 19 to 22. In the subsequent these “ti in that that that“ trained that sharpness daily.

of Zhzhzhzh.... - 1507 took off in the direction of Panandzhi only with an hour delay from - for “the slowed-down actions of land services“. 8 hours “zhzhzhzh“ and behind a window any more not snow and “minus“, but the sun, +30 and sticky Hindus, in sense: will stick, you will not unstick. Though so at all resort airports, but here - search. I naturally did not give a suitcase to them - 10 meters to the bus itself as - nibud I will give a ride, so this swine gets up on the road, then jumps aside and shows where to go though I also not the blind person, the bus see, then runs forward and again. So to the bus. I thrust a suitcase into a compartment, practically at it from hands having pulled out (ches the word, I had only 100th box notes, and in “no money“ at only arrived, clearly, they will not believe) - lit. Sir, mine pips... Sir, mine pips... Sir, mine pips... - for what?! - but sir, mine pips... - I stand I smoke. To it bothered to jump around me - skipped away, right there one more is, in all brown and with a badge. The sir, I am an employee of the airport and I raise money for service of the arrived passengers, on 10 dollars.

- Ugu where cash desk, I will go, I will mourn.
- the Sir, is not necessary in cash desk, I can pay. there is no
- it is better in cash desk.
- the Sir, you two, and I from you two will take only 10 dollars.
- And buttons you will take?
- Than?
- Buttons for clothes.
- Go away.

Left. I finished smoking, got into the bus - one more - Sir, mine pips! - and you - for what? At doors in the bus you stand, and stand.

the travel agent frightened

On the way to hotel water, the obligatory report at flying away on currency transactions:“ Surely keep all forms about currency exchange“, recommended excursions and in detail told where there is a restaurant with the best sea kitchen of “Mike`s Place“. Arrived, lodged - to have dinner, naturally there where the way is in detail explained. The recommended restaurant reminds a roadside snack bar at the intersection at the village of Blyuvotkino of Toshnilovsky district of the Pronosovsky region more. Gave 2000 rupees (1500 rubles, further in the text of the price I will transfer to rubles at once) and the worm of doubt crept in - Nye.... So it also appeared - a thorough dinner at the restaurant found nearby, now restaurant, for two with alcohol poured out in pleasant 400 rubles.

In general want to swindle on everything.

  1. On water which leaves much as water from - under the crane even does not recommend to wash and if to it also teeth to clean - 3 days in number 100% a guarantee. The water liter for tourists, costs from 15 to 75 rubles (depends on the place of purchase and impudence of the seller), and so 5 - ti the liter large bottle costs 30 rubles.
  2. At excursions. The trip to Palolem, for example, costs 30 dollars from a nose, and a taxi there - back and to wait 2 hours - 500 rubles, and already for two. Excursion, probably, is so much more expensive from - for pleasures an hour and a half to collect on hotels of other tourists and then as much again to carry. There are no conditioners, by the way, in buses. More true they are, but not filled.
  3. Again at excursions, but differently. I tell. All went to watch temples, at a taxi - 1200 rubles for all day, 8 temples. In “excursions“ it is 4 pieces for 240 dollars. Though from the temple to the temple to cross the road, and to the following 1 km to go. Came to watch the temple with Saint Francis`s relics, only a leg from the car:“ Here you are on 2 candles - a gift“, - say - “It is necessary to put and make a wish, will surely come true!“ “Senkav“, - I say, and to an entrance, and this pretzel, with candles, for us:

- the Sir, is a gift, but at us it is necessary to endow for a gift on 18 rubles for a candle.
- is good, surely in the temple I will put 72 rubles in a jar. there is no
- the sir, I should endow.
- So you sell candles? there is no
- give, but I should endow.
- Here time you presented them to me, is free and where to endow, I will solve.

A itself both went on an alleyka, and I go, and he jumps around.

- But the sir, give then 36 rubles for all 4 candles. there is no
- in a jar.
- 18!
- In coin box.

Already the wife to stand up for it the beginnings - type the person suffers from irrevocable loss of four candles.

- the Sir, well at least 7 rubles for all four, but me!

was Taken by me from the wife of a candle and gave it with words:“ Let all your desires be granted“. As wind blew off it. And we meanwhile reached an entrance to the temple - the uncle in all brown meets, greeted, got from a pocket bedzhik with the press and its photo - type it was presented, and again in a pocket hid it.

- Good afternoon, the sir, you at us for the first time?
- Yes.
- is good, an entrance to the temple free, and here photographing (I have in hands a camera) paid, 75 rubles.
- is good where cash desk?
- should be Paid to me.
- And you who?

From a pocket, with the word “employee“ appears and at once disappears bedzhik.

- Go, the employee, under a tree a billeting.
- But the sir! Mine pips!


he is familiar... zero emotions, we enter the temple.

- the Sir, well, maybe, I then at you the guide will stay?
- Thanks, is not necessary.

Lagged behind. Then, after visit, the wife left, and I in a tenechka waited for her - tourists were brought, the whole bus. On 2 candles distributed to all, and the man with bedzhiky as them saw, bedzhik fastened, in crowd to them nyr, and let`s cut together with the guide!

Gold and diamonds in general should not be bought by
  1. . I for the sake of a trick bargained the ring covered with diamonds from 1200 dollars to... (sit down) 180! In shop! The heap of papers in a makeweight to a ring was given with the seals, nearly on each stone on two - a nastoyashchesta guarantee! Atas! Process was watched by the Englishman who only paid for something - forgot that he already bought everything, and was going to leave, up to the end looked. And when, already at the price 180, I asked a lens and a piece of glass - to check stones, and refused to me - and so we give 3 kilograms of guarantees... the Englishman left.

And so on, and so forth. It is necessary to be on the alert constantly - aim to take money for that, as it is so free. And one pretzel in general was stunned: stuck on the street - to clean boots, black brushes. I on it looked as at the fool - a piece of chalk - I say - you absolutely from a heat okoset, I in slates! And to it it is not a hindrance - shcha I, speaks, and to you slates I will clean also to the wife white sandals! Also it is direct in legs with the black brushes jumps to clean - otmakhatsya hardly, so he then around us even minutes 10 jumped - demanded money for work, was not sent yet to visit Ganesh.


By the way, a smart way to bargain - it is checked:

you forget
  1. before commission of purchase English, absolutely, it that the seller did not get on back and gained the price on the calculator.
  2. the seller gains the price - silently press to divide on 2, equally.
  3. the seller begins to explain, show to
  4. qualities of goods, but does it quickly as thinks that you do not understand it, and even just enters other price.
  5. you begin to quote
  6. with a serious look “why people do not fly as a bird“ to twist estimated object of purchase, to be enough other goods, to point a finger somewhere aside and so minutes two. After that you repeat point 2. The turned-out sum turns out even less that that you offered initially.

you Scroll points with second on the fourth time 5, every time increasing time of citing classics. You tell the last time not less than 5 - 7 minutes, after that gather the final price (percent 30 - 40 less than that which the seller entered the last time) - type the last word.

  1. the seller either agrees, or enters the option of the price.
  2. you leave, the seller begins to shout following, then catches up and the price on the calculator begins to fall with an astronomical speed.
  3. simply you wait for
  4. while from the price it becomes already just a shame not, and you come back to buy.

Trick: and Rastas any hand-made articles sell the night market in Arpore, there hippie, near them Hindus a vserazlichny crap trade, Chinese - that for the market without them, Pakistanis with rags etc. I bargain in the above way with someone from this brotherhood, using as arguments of the theorem from school textbooks: “all corners are equal in an isosceles triangle, for the proof we will assume that a triangle isosceles, and corners are not equal, in this case....“ . The hippushka sits next to the hand-made articles - crimson why - a question. The bargaining is finished, bought as it will begin to roll from laughter, and in pure Russian, strewing with a mat - well you well done! we Neigh three together: I, wife and Russian hippushka. Hippushka through laughter explains to the utorgovanny seller as bargained with it - the notice as circles on water on all market, and all of them also upykhanny is constant.

In general they as sellers are extremely boring

, especially those that on the beach any nonsense is dragged. The only dealer with whom communicated, but did not drive - the woman Masha. Carried fruit. It was allocated for exclusive ability to trade, interest and hold the client. For same at once also got the nickname “O`Gilvi“ - the woman Masha O`Gilvi. The others - you put out the light: you lie to yourself on the sun, will approach, will spread out a heap of iron from a bag and begins to rub that this silver, is cheap - buy. And shish you will banish!

they me got

For the third day: wrote about a plank bed of “I do not need any more“ - HA! Directly over an inscription the next shopkeeper also spread out the pieces of iron. Here torknut me: took a stone... - let`s change! I to you a stone, and you to me this big elephant with a basket on a back. First minutes two: “Hee - hi, ha - ha - a stone bad, an elephant good - money it is necessary“, - and I to it in all seriousness: “The stone is good!“ And all possible options of its application: only for appearance to put an elephant, and a stone and a piece of paper to press that wind did not carry away, and to crack nuts, and... to it I do not allow to squeeze words. In 5 minutes it it is simple to gather the beginnings, and I without paying attention: to hammer nails, about it to sharpen a knife... it to the course - I behind it: to throw on range, to beat crabs.... It is more to my plank bed, all remained 10 days any did not approach! Only those that the elephant was driven, but these in general impudent fellows....

Nourishingly having had a dinner with

, I sleep, in the sleep - the sir, the sir, the sir. I slightly open one eye - over me there is this large object with the eregirovanny member, and nearby the Hindu - saw that I slightly opened an eye - was delighted:

- the Sir, let`s ride on an elephant.
- Spasip, I do not want.
- Sir, mine pips.
is for what?
- I showed an elephant to you.
- You showed not an elephant to me, and woke me.
- the Sir, you see an elephant - give money.
- you see Protection, bring down from here until I told them that your elephant ate my cigarettes.
- He did not eat cigarettes.
- And you woke me.

Left, just left.

Only, than I was not engaged in India - did not offend the travel agent. It was attentive, was not imposed, here I also did not offend him. However the person who is brought together from reserved laughter after its advertizing monologues was ill constantly. And how not to laugh if to Palolem to go really 30 minutes, and the bus with excursion goes more than two hours from - for the fact that it on the ferry does not hold, here and slides in a detour, through the bridge. Here to each his own.

A with a trip on a trance - a party in general the song! Excursion costs $50 from a nose, from hotel take away at eight in the evening, carry to Arpor, active searches of a venue of a party which happens once a week, on Tuesdays begin there. It is necessary to find quickly because at two o`clock in the morning draw the bridge through the river and if not to manage to return, it is necessary to cuckoo till 6 in the morning. It is a legend such. Actually everything is much simpler. In - the first, the party takes place nearly an every day. In - the second, the announcement with the indication of the place hangs on a tree in the middle of the night arporsky market. Or rather, not of the place, but the place where is costed by the motorcycle with the Hindu - approach: “Where party?“. The Hindu estimates - police or not, then speaks where to go. And for the bus with excursion, happen to find this Hindu it, the answer one: “I do not know“. And the last: from “adjustable“ there only tourists, and there are no bridges such. This counter that people for offense for irrevocably lost 50 dollars did not force the bus all night long on the mountains is thought up to travel about.

the Epilogue Should not be paid


where free entrance.