From where I undertook?
Once this difficult question will be surely asked by your inquisitive little girl or the clever little boy...these questions only for us, adults Are difficult for
. For kids the question “from where children undertake?“ it is absolutely natural. And it does not differ at all from desire to learn where the sun why in the star sky that ticks in hours or why to a cat moustaches sleeps at night. All these nurseries “why“, “why“ and “why“ - no other than natural inquisitiveness and desire of the child to understand a peace arrangement, to understand the place in it. And here a lot of things depend on parents. If we are not able softly, competently, without lie and distortions to answer the child “delicate“ questions - since the early childhood we will seed in consciousness of the baby seeds of serious complexes, fear, offense and mistrust to parents in the future.
It is possible, it will be much easier for our children, than us, to discuss floor questions with the kids. We were born and grew up at the time of sanctimonious bans and half-words. Very few people from modern parents can brag that his mother or the father openly talked to the maturing child about appearance of children on light and the relations between the man and the woman. Waved away, kept silent, used cunning... And children scooped information from domestic idle talks and adult books rare at that time which they understood little. Still I remember that in 10 years itself sincerely believed that children are born from a kiss. It horrified me. And when learned the truth from more adult girlfriends, tested a bigger horror and the burning shame...
of the Tale of cabbage and a stork
As to be? On the one hand, the loving parent wants to grow up the kid healthy not only physically, but also is moral, with another, to give him necessary knowledge in floor questions. How to answer “difficult“ questions where that side which separates sex education from platitude and immorality? With what age to begin this education? Very capaciously the psychologist V. Levi speaks about it: “All truth it is impossible AT ONCE. And directly, roughly it is impossible. And foggy it is impossible. And too early it is impossible. And it is too late dangerous...“ We will also use this council.
you Remember dialogue from the wonderful book of K. I. Chukovsky “From 2 to 5“? “The father, from where I undertook?“ - “You bought in the market“. - “Yes, but before to sell, someone had to make me!“ Where only did not find us, children, our mothers and fathers. Bought in the market or in special children`s shops, received from a stork or tried to discover in cabbage... Sometimes mothers took medicines, and kids appeared... Fortunately, most of modern parents understand that such answer, to put it mildly, is incorrect.Telling
the same Levi`s words:“ protecting children`s purity clumsy tales, actually we protect the cowardice“. Yes, we have to begin sex education of remains with ourselves. We have to understand, at last, that love of the man and woman, the child`s birth - it is delightful, it if you want, the Main Meaning of life. Perceive interest of the child quietly and naturally, answer without tension and confusion. Otherwise the kid will feel your confusion and will ask himself a question: “And why mother so worries?“ Perhaps not now, maybe, in several years, but will set...
Therefore, be ready to “difficult“ questions of little “why-asker“. Think over in advance as as you will say to the child what his interest would not take you unawares. And do not forget to tell a tale about a stork. But without giving out for the truth namely as the fairy tale. Tell that the stork was always considered as the bird bringing happiness. Not for nothing its nest on a roof of the rural house was a good luck symbol. And the child`s birth at mother and the father is a great happiness! Here also people thought up the beautiful tale of the stork bringing happiness. Such story, in - the first, once again will convince the kid that for mother and the father it the most favourite, it - “happiness“, and in - the second, will help to apprehend stories about a stork and cabbage as a joke if someone another tries to issue them for the truth.Stupenechki`s
Interest in sex issues appears at kids in steps. Absolutely crumbs begin to study anatomy from themselves and relatives. They can consider long the handles and legs, reflection in a mirror, to touch the mother`s person. And mother helps the child with studying, strokes it and calls parts of a body. And here, since the earliest childhood, it is important to show to the kid that all his parts of a body are equally good that among them there are no “indecent“. At the same time it is not so important whether you will use medical terms, or to say “children`s“ names. The main thing to develop the healthy attitude of the baby towards itself and genitals.the Child becomes slightly more senior than
and suddenly realizes that not all people are identical. He sees distinctions between boys and girls in kindergarten or on the beach, and between men and women - watching houses parents. And it is absolutely natural stage of development too. Tell the baby that men and women are arranged differently. So the nature conceived. Boys will grow up and girls - women will become men, and.
Often parents ask themselves a question: Whether “Naked can go at the child?“ There is no definite answer here. Everything depends on your family traditions. Adhere to golden mean. Be not covered hasty with a towel if the peanut saw you undressed after a shower or during disguise. Do not give to it reasons to consider nakedness as something shameful and indecent. But, at the same time, explain that the body of the person belongs only to him. And it is not accepted to expose it on a public inspection.
the Following stage of a growing of the kid. The young scientist by all means will want to learn why blood red why the nose and ears are necessary, and, of course, from where children undertake.
the simplest and right way for parents - to answer questions in process of their receipt and not to tell anything superfluous. Trust in children`s intuition. The child himself will decide when and that he is ready to hear and understand. The very first question which can be set by the kid - from where it undertook. The best answer to it: “You were given birth by mother“. It is possible to add that mother went to maternity hospital, and there doctors helped it to give birth to the baby. Usually, this answer quite suits the child.
But there passes a little time, and it asks the following question: “And how you gave birth to me?“ Here, perhaps, it is already worth telling in more detail. For example, so. “Mother carried you in the tummy. All women in a tummy have a special place for the baby which is called “uterus“. There it is cozy and warm, as in a nest. At first you were tiny as an ant. Then began to grow gradually and it became similar to a little small fish. Mother ate all the most tasty (here it is possible to list favourite dishes of the kid) and it got to you...“ .If the peanut asks
how what was eaten by mother got to it, tell that the uterus is connected to a tummy a special tubule - “umbilical cord“. Through it to the kid everything that mother eats arrives and drinks.“ You very well ate and quickly grew up. The mother`s tummy grew too. Mother wore special wide clothes. Then you began to be pushed from within with legs and handles because it was boring for you to one. And mother saw a hillock on the tummy, and guessed together with the father - a cam it or the patch.
the Father and mother walked together. They very much loved you, wanted that you were born strong and healthy. The father talked to you through a mother`s tummy, and mother sang to you song lullabies. When you grew up a little more, to you became close in a mother`s tummy, and you wanted to get out. Then mother went to maternity hospital, and there doctors helped it to get you from a tummy“.Tell
to the child as mother and the father, the grandmother and the grandfather were glad to his emergence. Remember some cases ridiculous and clear to the kid from the pregnancy. Show clothes in which you went, consider together photos. If you have a photo with ultrasonography - too show it to the baby. Your story has to be emotional, light. The kid will be happy to learn that you looked forward to him the birth. It will be one more confirmation that it is loved.
Expectation of one more child - an excellent opportunity to talk to the firstborn on the birth of children. Take the baby with yourself on ultrasonography. For it it will be an unforgettable event. It is noticed that at the kids waiting together with mother and the father of the brother or for the sister, manifestations of jealousy more smoothed than at kids who about replenishment in a family were told nothing.
Of course, it is possible to pay attention of the child and to the pregnant woman on the street. And it will be useful to future man to learn that in transport future mother needs to give way. If the birth of the baby is expected in a family of friends, allow the child to put a hand on a stomach of future mummy. Let he will feel how the kid potters inside, will plunge into the atmosphere of heat, love and joyful expectation...
it is Quite natural that further the child will want to learn and as it from a tummy got out. And here you have to be extremely honest too. Any fairy tales about a navel and excuses “I already forgot“. And, of course, absolutely you should not tell that to mother cut a stomach and get the kid from there even if yours the baby was born by Cesarean section. One my friend quite so also told the five-year-old daughter. When to the girl there were years eight, and mother told her about an origin of children in more detail, with use of the medical atlas and special terminology, the daughter admitted that she very much was afraid all these years, as to it will cut a stomach too.
Just imagine what awful experiences we can seed in children`s heads that without knowing! Therefore it will be most reasonable to tell that the child at the birth passes on so-called “patrimonial ways“ and through an opening, especially for it intended, is born. Patrimonial ways are so arranged that can stretch. It helps the kid to be born.
Good assistants in such story. Before to buy such book, check it attentively. Drawings in the book have to be clear to the baby, but not too frank. The same and with the text. Consider the book together with the peanut, answer his questions clear and interestingly.
If at you there live a cat or a dog, allow the child to observe process of birth of little pets. Accurately draw a parallel between childbirth at an animal and the person. Thereby you not only will give to the kid initial knowledge of physiology, but also will help to realize unity and similarity of all live in the nature. But be ready to what, at the sight of the pregnant woman, the baby will ask whether kittens at her in a tummy.
to the Most difficult: “And how I got into a tummy?“ At the first stage be limited approximately to such answer: “Mother, as well as at each woman, in a tummy has special sections of “ovum“. From them the baby also begins to grow“. After a while the baby will take an interest for what the father is necessary. Answer that the father has special cages (spermatozoa) too. When one such section connects to a mother`s ovum, from it the kid begins to develop. Without father`s section the ovum will not grow.Explain
to the baby that for this reason it is similar at the same time both to mother, and to the father. For example, color of eyes - father`s, and hair - mother`s. Such answer for a long time will satisfy the peanut. But after the next round of development, the child will surely ask:“ How the father`s cage gets to mother into a tummy?“ It is possible to tell about physiological details of sexual intercourse, of course, here. But whether it is necessary?
Time to such conversation will come a bit later, is closer to teenage age. For now pay attention to the spiritual party of a question. Tell: “Mother and the father very much love each other. They very much wanted that they gave birth to the kid. You know that mother and the father sleep together, in one bed? They strong embraced each other, and the father`s section “ran across“ in a mother`s tummy that hole from where then the child is born“. Honestly and anything superfluous.
of Many parents is nonplused by the child`s question “What is sex?“ I will tell one real story which happened to my nephews - triplets. In five years one of them came to the father with this question. The father in confusion of the beginnings there was something to tell how suddenly the second brother cried from the neighboring room:“ Not “sex“, and “syks“! These are “six“ in English!“Therefore, first of all, should take an interest in
why the child had a similar question. It is possible to answer it approximately so:“ Sex is when the woman and the man love each other. Happens that at the same time they give birth to the child“. Now the majority of movies does not do without erotic scenes. There is practically no opportunity to completely protect from them the child. Unless only absolutely not to turn on the TV, but also it is not an exit.
I besides, here it is important not to focus attention of the son or daughter. And we also do it, convulsively switching the TV to other canal or switching off it at all. Most likely, the kid will not even pay attention to what occurs on the screen. And if you correctly paved the way competent stories, will apprehend everything naturally and without excessive interest.
do not hesitate to show before the kid the love and tenderness to each other. Only positive family experience will give it the chance, grow up the harmonious person and to establish already the happy family. And the foundation of the confidential relations with the child laid today will help out you still more than once tomorrow when the son or the daughter step in difficult “teenage“ age. And there questions will be much more difficult...