The confession of the single
“At me will be the child...“ - suddenly distinctly sounded in my head. The chill climbed a back and was dissolved somewhere in heart. I drag on the last cigarette: “Tomorrow I will buy the test and I throw“. Though, why test? It did not happen to me yet, but something prompts to me that I am not mistaken.
Yes, a delay only two days, but I remember that I so did not want to release it in this boat campaign, I so was afraid for it, “suddenly something happens to it, and I will not see it any more“... Here also forgot about “dangerous days“.“ Dangerous“ - nonsense what. To here lose it forever - there was a danger, or perhaps and was not, but there was a fear.
Yes, I even remember this day: I was with it as last time, and then we lay having embraced, and I suddenly felt a rainbow in a stomach! The unusual feeling is even not physical, it as a smile in a stomach, feeling of pleasure and universal harmony. It appears, it my son lodged in me. I am sure that it is the son. I very much waited for it about five years ago, but my husband was fruitless, and soon we in general left and nevermore met.
A in 3 years, I met HIM. I tried to struggle with the feeling, preparing it and studying under an introspection microscope. Sobbing, I inspired in myself: “It is not necessary for you; it is impossible. It is impossible even to look in its party. Get up courage, refuse it.“ “Yes that it? Inclination, love? Or... well, love it is necessary to deserve. And not such it. There cannot be it such... wrong“...
Ya as could, did not give a sign at a meeting with it, but in my soul the hurricane as soon as we met the eyes of it as soon as I saw his hands which so gently embraced “a bend of a guitar yellow“ began... As I was jealous him of this six-string beauty! Not to the wife who waited for it at home, and to a guitar... Silly.“Is not present
, it is a taboo. I will have, I will wait and all has to pass, it already worked well once, and I respect myself for it. I am not a thoughtless maiden, and the adult, serious person respecting institute of marriage“.
But as whirlwind: a call, and I understand that all is mutual; then took home, and did not decide; later walk on night park, a kiss be also farther that will be.
What will be?“ I cannot leave a family... You are good, but I do not want to offend the wife, many years are lived... Perhaps, sometime... And than you it is bad as is?“ And I already in such despair that I do not even feel pain, and me already all the same - am lower a mouth to me already there is no place. Let will be so, if it happened, I can always “get stuck“... And here - the child! I will be mother - the single. Well and let.
my Sonny! Probably, for this purpose our meeting with your father that you were born was also intended... And, well and let it will leave us, having learned about you, we will be all the same happy with you. I am young, not bad myself, we will find to ourselves the real father and we will live correctly and well. And washing conscience it is pure because you are conceived in love and that the family of your father is whole and safe, and everything at them is cloudless.He did not leave to
us. Also our sonny was born. It was hard for me. And when I for the first time, in a year, cut it under the machine, I saw a miracle: its short short-haired volosik on the top if to look under a certain corner, remind a heart form! Love child!the second sonny, stubborn as my destiny, and eyes at it father`s, big, bottomless was born
I at us. The father and lives on two families, as well as hundreds of Russian fathers, unfortunately...
Ya ceased to sob in a pillow at night, and ceased to wait for changes in our relations, just I love and I live as is; I ask God about forgiveness and I thank for great happiness - to have children from darling. My hard happiness and happy test.
Yes, I know, it is all the same a sin, and I should expiate it. I am ready because I know - the love of it costs!
P. S. You do not hurry to condemn, dear Wives, I too “warm and fuzzy“, just a little am lucky me less: Though married girlfriends sometimes envy.