Rus Articles Journal

Who if not I

January this year was given extraordinary warm, as well as, however, all winter.

Every day I woke up in hope that exactly today there will be what I so long waited for. In me everything trembled with one thought that soon, very soon I will see the little man, long nine months living though in me, but already the life. Open the sprouted seed of haricot and you will see a tiny green small stalk - small life in already adult seed.

right at the beginning I all could not get used in any way that in me new life, future PERSON with his desires, habits, features of character. When the stomach became swept up, I for the first time felt new feeling - a sense of responsibility for this small life. “Who, if not I?“ - from this day this thought pursued me everywhere and always. “Who if not I, feed, will warm, will protect, will caress?“

its First push, the first reminder that it already came to it the world I felt

with improbable delight as if my kid told me: “Mother, I already here!“ It was strange to me to feel how it is pushed and that it does it at Own will, irrespective of my desires.

On preliminary terms of Timoshk had to come to this world on January 15. That morning I woke up in impatience. However day passed, but nothing occurred. The next day passed everything in the same painful expectation of a miracle, but it is vain... Since then every morning I was tormented by a question - today or not? Every evening I fell asleep in a presentiment which brought me next morning.

Morning began on January 26

, as well as all previous. Suddenly the pain at first aching then sharp, and after abating a lightning rushed in a waist.“ There now, it was only not enough“, - I sadly thought. But pain continued to appear and disappear periodically. To the middle of day I understood - here it, the time came...

21. 30. The next sharp pain forced me to be bent in half on a bed. “Get up and resemble - it will become easier“ - the midwife tried to help me. But how to rise if legs do not hold and terrible pain will paralyze a body?

21. 52 Approximately at this time my sonny told the word first in this world. Without opening eyes, I felt how on a breast to me put something warm, pottering about and intolerably native. Having slightly opened one eye, I saw a small red hairy head and for the first time felt inflow of the most strong, most sacred feeling on the earth - love to the kid!

at night, in chamber, holding

on hands of desperately shouting son and having suppressed the first fear of newly made inexperienced mother, I told it:“ More quietly, more quietly, my kid! I will take care of you, I will feed, I will sing, I will warm, I will caress!“

Who, if not I?