With the father on the way to the world of
the Nature of fatherly feelings to the kid causes quite clear interest in the woman. Whether there are they by itself or come over time? What differ from maternal feelings in? How the woman can influence manifestations of fatherly attention to the kid? Whether it is possible to attribute insufficiency of this attention to male uncertainty in the fatherly talents? And in general, as these most notorious fatherly feelings have to be shown. Let`s try to understand from the very beginning.Pregnancy - business man`s
of the Basis of relationship of the father and the kid are put by
during this period when the kid in mother`s tummy. Without empathy and support from the man, it is difficult for woman to take out pregnancy safely. However the woman can face man`s misunderstanding of depth of the changes happening to it. On the one hand, in society there is a stereotype “pregnancy - business not man`s“, on the other hand the man does not feel pregnancy signs that is called “on itself“.
Should not despair. This problem is solvable, possibly, the man just does not know about importance of his “inclusion“ in pregnancy. Tell it as it is important for the correct development of the child - man`s attention. Go together to courses of preparation for childbirth. Fortunately, there are more and more men who seek to join in life of the child long before his birth. The phrase “pregnant father“ does not cause bewilderment any more, and is reflection of a real situation in the sense that so far the woman bears the kid, the man “bears the woman“. Caring for its wellbeing and comfort, he creates the best conditions for development of the child.“ The pregnant father“ usually is present at childbirth, feeling himself not the helpless observer, but the active participant of events. Many of them say that participation in childbirth was the brightest and happy event of their life.
Language clear to them to two
the First contact of the father and kid is an important event of their relationship. It is desirable that it occurred in the first days of life of the child. During this period at the child at the unconscious level the relations with world around in which the figure of the father is very significant are formed. It is clear, that the young father often feels uncertainly and perplexed at the first meeting with the kid. But the easiest to correct it right now. Let the father will take the kid on hands, will press to himself, it is desirable that contact happened “skin to skin“, will praise for those efforts which were made by the kid at the time of delivery. It is necessary for both the father and the newborn the baby.
In the first months of life of the child “pregnancy“ continues, but only at the “external“ level. The kid still completely depends on mother, and the man feels not it necessary to the kid. However the father had now a fine opportunity too to try on “tummy“ - to resemble with the kid in a backpack - “kangaroo“. Many men with pleasure do it, being obviously proud of such burden and receiving the first lessons of interaction with the child.cases Are frequent
that fathers of babies just do not know in what their fatherly role at this stage of life of the child. That there was no alienation of the father and the child, charge to the husband of doing gymnastics with the kid or training in swimming. It is very useful for development of the baby. Explain that you just have no time to choose behind series of feedings and household chores for this purpose time, and the man with pleasure will undertake such task. So he will find approach to the child, will begin to feel the need, will see result of the efforts - pleasure of the kid. Thus, language of movements will become language of their communication. This good acquisition for many years.the Father - the best incentive
the Maternal love is inherently unconditional
, and here approval of the father needs to be met. It is important vital incentive for the child. Growing up, the child begins to need the fatherly management, the authority and approval. The aforesaid does not mean that the father loves the child less, than mother. Just it is important to man to see the worthy continuation in the kid. He pays attention to education of those qualities at the child that will help it to cope with problems which are put before it by life. First of all independence. As for the kid, so for him special pleasure - to show the achievements to the father, and it is unimportant that so far it all the first unsteady steps or a scribble on paper.
But sometimes the child is simply not ready to make what from it wait for. Therefore it is important to help the man to correct the level of the expectations to the level of age opportunities of the child. If you see that this designer who is just presented by the father, not on forces to the kid softly hint the husband that from cubes the quite good cities turn out too. The fatherly love has to give to the child escalating feeling of own force, but not extinguish self-confidence at the kid.
Sometimes the woman has a temptation - to use desire of the child to be pleasant to the father in the educational purposes. You will not obey - I will complain to your father. You do not hurry to intimidate the child. Similar reception can deprive of you authority on children`s eyes, and the child of initiative. Besides it is not obligatory at all that the behavior of the child which afflicted you will cause the same relation in the father. For example, the fact that it seems to you obstinacy - in the opinion of the man will look independence.by
it is not stayed at home
Growing up, the kid begins to study actively world around, and the best conductor on this travel, than the father it is simple not to find. Men usually prefer to lead active lifestyle, with great pleasure spends with the child time outdoors. Leaving the one-year-old daughter with the father, I guessed where they will go this time. Will go to the husband to work or on a visit? Will attend some fashionable exhibition or toy store? Or perhaps will go to bicycle walk? The imagination of the husband was really inexhaustible.Though me such state of affairs gave to
a lot of trouble, I saw that these travel are obviously pleasant to the daughter. Also tried to understand what quietly to stay at home, playing silent games - it is not them. And pro-driving time is better to provide to the father and the child an option freedom of choice. You should not be upset that the day regimen was broken and instead of home-made soup the child ate in McDonald`s, but the child received the mass of new impressions, experience of communication with other people, and the most important, feeling of confidence in fatherly protection.
the Father as a holiday
Communication with the father gives to the child feeling of a holiday. And it not at all not because fathers spend not enough time with the child as they like to explain this phenomenon of the woman sometimes. The matter is that the father represents other pole of human life, than mother. If the image of mother represents the house in which there is a child, then an image of the father is more connected with the world around this house. The father is the world of an adventure, the world of the things created human by hands, the world of thought. The maternal love gives to the child feeling of safety, fatherly helps the child to be guided with world around.the Feeling of a holiday is born
from the importance and brightness of those impressions which are received by the child thanks to the father. Sometimes the most usual things thanks to the father reveal from the party, new, novel for the child. The sofa turns into the plane, a pencil - in the screw-driver, and the pan to become a drum. Only the man can watch with undisguised delight as the kid disassembles the panel from the TV, or with enthusiasm presses phone buttons without analysis, rejoicing to knacks of the child for equipment.
to the Woman is difficult to be worried, the fact that the child sooner or later to separate from it. But the sense of a way of a growing, independence and spiritual growth of the child consists in it. Wisdom of the woman is in to preventing the child to mature. Respect his requirement to communicate with the father and to become more and more independent. Being combined, maternal and fatherly love, create ideal conditions for development of the child. The famous American psychologist Erich Fromm wrote: “Mother is a house which we leave, and the father is the one who teaches the child how to learn the road to the world“.