Oh these lessons!
How many tears are shed from - for them by children how many nerves are torn by adults!
“Cannot set the son for lessons. All the time we have scandals, moaning. And when at last you will force to sit down at a desk - begins to distract, consider crows, deceives, says that nothing is set. I was exhausted with it!“ - mother complains.
“Well! Was admitted to school - teachers spoke: “The capable boy“. And now only the book of problems on mathematics will open - and at once the person stupid, eyes glass. Does not know elementary things!“ - the father echoes it.
I, of course, a refrain the question sounds: “What to do? How to bring up a sense of responsibility in the child?“
B than business?
Most of parents considers that ordinary laziness is the cornerstone of refusal of the child to prepare lessons. But often the same “lazy“ child for hours makes something or reads, willingly washes the dishes, vacuums the apartment, molds pies... Then it is not natural laziness. And in what?
In panic fear of failure. the Fear so strong that it prevents the child to concentrate, does his behavior chaotic. And the child, unlike the adult, not always realizes what happens to him. And from it it haotizirutsya even more.
A other children, on the contrary, for fear slow down, being partially or completely disconnected from the events. A look at them at the same time released, almost serene. Actually the child is deeply injured by school failures and if in time not to eliminate this trauma, so-called “school neurosis“ can develop. And it is fraught with both nervous breakdowns, and various psychosomatic diseases. Therefore it is necessary to stock up with patience and to help the son or the daughter to prepare lessons. Even if, in your opinion, they are quite capable to do them independently.
In objective difficulties, which the child tests when training. If your son constantly shirks, for example, classes in mathematics, do not hurry to hang on him a label of the pathological idler. Perhaps, it is not given logical thinking. In this case after difficulties remained behind, the school student usually ceases to shirk lessons.
In desire to draw to itself attention of adults, which the child expresses thus - without sitting down at lessons. Such children lack parental heat. They feel lonely and understand that school poor progress is nearly only way to cause concern of adults.“When everything is normal
, mother does not notice me. It has too many cases“, - the twelve-year-old boy whose mother complained that the son does not sit down in the afternoon at lessons honestly admitted, and waits for her arrival from work and then the whole evening “drags out“, haunting it minutes.in this case too are inefficient
of Threat and punishment. In fact it turns out that the child is punished for his thirst of love. Therefore first of all surround the son or the daughter with heat and care. Even if it seems to you that they receive all this with interest.
When the child does homework, draw near it closer, stroke on the head, on a back, whisper on an ear something tender and encouraging. Often children need not so much the real help, how many open expression of parental feelings. Therefore not to be irritated and not to consider the main thing lost that time which you will spend, sitting near children at a desk.
In a pamperedness. Here the main thing to observe the principle “in the morning money, in the evening chairs“. For example, the son wants to invite the friend - please, but before let will perform homeworks. And any advance payments!
- Let`s say your son did not agree to sit down at lessons, you in reply did not allow it to play on the computer. What does it do farther? - I usually ask parents on consultation.Answers are standard
: plays toys, watches TV, goes to take a walk... That is actually the child has all the same a good time, having spat on parental requirements, and parents allow it. As a result they cannot achieve the, and at all (first of all at the child!) there is a false impression, as if it is absolutely invincible.
Prevention of “indifference“
That with arrival of the child in the first class all your life did not turn into infinite position war, it is important to adhere to the following tactics:- Try to inspire
in the child that lessons are his business because he studies not for mother with the father and not for the grandmother with the grandfather. Usually it seems to parents that if not to remind children on hundred times about lessons, all of them on light will forget. But actually it not so. Pupils of initial classes still think very much of everything that is connected with school. And to admit before all that you did not learn a lesson, it it is much more terrible, than, say, to eighth-graders who sometimes even defy the devil-may-care attitude to study. So let will feel consequences of own irresponsibility. Let few times descend in school with not done exercise on Russian or with an unresolved mathematical task. It is much more useful, than to you to fray to itself nerves in the afternoon, begging the child to start lessons and by that making at it impression as if it does it only for the sake of you.
- In a question of preparation of lessons rigidly adhere to the principle of “the only alternative“. Yes, homeworks are a business of the child, and he is free to choose, prepare them or not. However for the two received as a result of unlearned lessons it is necessary to deprive of it some important vital benefits. Then the choice for inaction will be unprofitable, however direct coercion (“I to whom told, march at a table“!) it will be possible to avoid.
In effectiveness of this principle I learned not only by the stranger, but also by own experience. In a class the fifth - a pole my eldest son suddenly “zasachkovat“. Instead of taking preparation of homeworks under rigid control, I set to the son a severe condition: for the three on mathematics or on Russian it for a week loses an opportunity to go to computer club. Then they only - only appeared and to get there was a cherished dream of each boy. The three right there disappeared, and at the same time I, it seems, did not interfere with process of preparation of lessons.