I remember this day... I remember
Ya this day when they me put in a bolnichka with difficult uttered diagnosis: “Gipotalamo - hypophysial dysfunction of the period puberty. Yuvinilny bleeding“. I was then 13 years old. I did not understand anything in what occurs, and in general went to hospital for the first time in life. I remember how with mother came to the doctor: “Child!“ - she told (doctor) to me then. “How you still go?!“ And I neither dream, nor spirit. Critical days I then for fun called annual. Because they proceeded at me on a month, two or even three. Having abused my turned pale mother for sluggishness, I was sent in the same day to hospital for two weeks. As a result, I lay more than a month, and nothing in my life changed, just tablets hormonal were appointed.I remember
Ya this day. I wake up in cold sweat and sharply I sit down on beds. I am 16 years old. Hospital walls. I look at the watch - 16 - 30. Soon! There will arrive to me parents already soon!!! This sleepy nightmare with bustle on hospital labyrinths from some maniac dreams me already with enviable constancy. I am already month in hospital, and somewhere my peers sit at a school school desk and write control. I already utter my diagnosis smoothly and with a smile.I remember
Ya this day. Again I, again mother and again the aunty am a doctor. I remember this phrase:“ If once again it repeats, then conception of the child will become under a question. I remember how mother sharply changed countenance. My mummy... she silently got up, took me by hand and left an office. I cried, I remember, but not from - for these heartless, cruel words, and for it, I felt sorry for her. And about myself I then did not think yet. What did I understand at such age? To me there were 17. Campaigns to the gynecologist of steel for me then a usual thing. And the question when you had the last monthly, still enters me into confusion: well, I never had a regular cycle and all here!!! Only with hormones and other medical gadgets.I remember
Ya this day. Day of my wedding. A wedding dress, experiences concerning a delay of a wedding train with the groom. Sea of love and happiness. Tenderness in the opinion of my husband, my favourite Andryusha. I knew how he wanted the kid. I knew what is possible, at me is its or will never be their, but did not want to trust. Still I suffered from own inferiority. There passed year, but the result was not.I remember
Ya this day... I cost in a bathroom with the next test in hands, in the opinion of a tear, in soul a full gloom. I leave and declare to the husband that if at me it does not turn out to become pregnant, then he can leave and leave me - not the woman, not mother. He looks at me attentively and reports that at me barmy as we will have a child and he does not even doubt me. And again I cannot long fall asleep, worrying about the future and touching the past in memory. I say prayers every day, submissively expecting the decision from above.I remember
Ya this day... Again I, again the test in hands. There passed half a year more, but nothing changed. And here something broke in me, cracked and any more to stick together in any way. I go to the room and I remove from myself a cross... also I explain to God that he too the person!!! That I do not want to know more it, time it with me acts THIS WAY!!! I pass to shout, tears on cheeks, but I stubborn repeat that more it is not necessary to me!!! NE NUZhE - e - en... He was silent in reply, probably, thought of own behavior. It was taken a detached view, probably, wildly: I shouted, stamped legs, demanded and! demanded to herself the child. When the husband came, I quietly told him that I swore with God and I will put on a cross only after I learn that I expect a baby. Andrey circumspectly kept silent, having decided not to interfere with our dismantling. Perhaps many will tell that they are not necessary so with It. But I will object, and the argument will be weighty.I remember
Ya this day... It was day off. The second stripe made the existence clear. I leave and do not trust for some reason... Yes what of it!? The test not serviceable can!!! Can. can... And somewhere inside it became warm so. I leave with a type of the winner, swinging as a flag, with a piece of paper and I look at it with care... suddenly in eyes Andrey, apparently, from the first not of glades in what here a counter appears doubled. It was necessary to drag it on ultrasonography where he understood nothing, except one thing - I have in a stomach a pretty, healthy kid! I with firmness kept all the time while showed us our Kernel, and left an office and turned into Niagara Falls. I cried with happiness and still because represented how I will tell about it to mother.Further my fairly stuffed memory of separate days will not remember
But everything proceeded successfully: I had no toxicosis, I quitted the job already very long ago. Generally, in the majority I rolled on a sofa and plyuvat in a ceiling. Few times to me was impatient pizzas in the middle of the night and still, despite diets, I burst the proteinaceous cream Small basket cakes in frightening quantities. The doctor in ZhK, having entered ritual, scribbled to me in the card about dropsy which I did not have also about threats, wrote out the sea of tablets which I did not drink. In general, I agreed with the acquaintance, the obstetrician - M. Yu. gynecologist, about childbirth, will shower me with tomatoes, in the 40th maternity hospital now. I, generally, did not solve, the doctor as spoke to me, excellent, and an infection it is possible in any maternity hospital, type, to pick up. I obediently agreed...
Having exhausted all with questions of fights, I and in a mustache did not blow... I had a stomach that it is necessary: it is more - about - y and beautiful All said that I will give birth to the girl in the middle of February. Well what here to tell, the girl so the girl! Two times of ultrasonography showed us the healthy little girl. But here about term: I was sure that I will give rise at the very beginning of March.
I again... I remember this day... Last ultrasonography and Bach! Syurprayz - z - z - z! There is my girl not the girl, but my girl actually the boy at all!!! Here where there was a stress for eight months!!! We with the husband were shocked. And you ask: and what here it? The boy - same it is fine!? Yes! The boy is super! Here only my girl where was put? I had a feeling that stole the daughter from me. I already about it knew everything and decided how we with it will be secretive as I will dress up it and to braid it braids, and suddenly it... It seems everything cheerfully now, and then to me had no time for jokes... I sobbed the whole days though it was terribly a shame to me before my kid. Andrey, my husband, very much helped me then one phrase:“ He loves you, he absolutely helpless, such small. He does not understand why his mother ceased to talk to him“. Now I already cried and apologized to my boy. I understood that I love it, IT, that the baby which cheerfully kicked at me in a puzika listened to father`s strokings and chewed with me “Baskets“.I remember
Ya this day - on February 26... We go to maternity hospital. I before it executed all hygienic procedures (it is necessary to tell that it is more pleasant to do houses, under the sensitive guide of the husband). I had some strange feeling of the coming holiday. Arrived, were issued, I remained, the husband left. There were 18 - 15 time. Prishchla in prenatal and patrimonial. It is one room in 40. Generally, I wanted to give birth itself, without punctures of a bubble and stimulation. Maybe it was good, and can badly. I do not know. And I here know that. I was given a nice shirt, golubenky and transparent - bite - elbows - houses - fashions. My doctor came, presented me the midwife, pierced a bubble. Here someone says that it is not sick, and it was painful to me, even, perhaps, it was more sick, than childbirth. Well, I cried out with all the heart. In next patrimonial the girl who gave birth after a lunch lay, she shouted too, but at her that already fights began, and I did not even know still what the animal - fights is. At first I went along a corridor, then hrumkat nutlets and even read the book.began Skhvatochki`s
in minutes 20. Lungs such, seconds on ten. Time was about 19 hours old. Here in me research interest leaped. Standing near an ogromnyushchy chair, there was no wish to lie to me somehow, I watched a stop watch on the cell phone. It regularly showed me fight duration - 30 seconds and frequency - in a minute. I already howled, but is silent that to frighten nobody. So I promayalas hour: read the book I in general managed that and kept ringing to the husband with the requirement to arrive, and that to me is somehow already not really good. The sister came and became interested in that work of art which I excitedly considered - the book “My Child“, the author Ustinova! Even I remember a surname!!! I, in turn, tried to achieve from it the story about we wash the near future. She dexterously got out of replying and disappeared in a corridor. The doctor came and promised me a dropper. I did not ask questions any more, only asked to send to me the husband from the victim, that is me. M. Yu., having looked at me and having estimated, probably, fight force, graciously agreed. The dropper to me was thrust and now I could only lie that obviously limited freedom of my movements or even perevyort.
Time 21 - 00, Andrey hurrah! Came. I by that moment already asked somebody to give rise for me, it, for example!!! He is involved in it too!!! To all other, I began attempts. Having promised to turn their state chair into the bathroom now if they everything do not lag behind me, I retired into oneself, in the pain. Between fights, in my opinion, passed sekud 15 - 20, but also these seconds, seemed to me eternal rest. I remember, M. Yu. came and told the husband that now I between fights will sleep... Ha!!! What can be a dream!!! I tried to protest her crazy statement, but forces mine were not any more. Attempts began too early, and the frequency of fights and time in labor - said that everything moves ahead too quickly. I, remember, thought how to suffer it eight more hours!? First labor lasts hours 14. Delivered me one more dropper with anesthetic and cut away a neck, it is visible, for softness as it at me was not ready: no harbingers were and I had to give birth in March. Andrey, diligently as then it became clear, recorded the most impressive moments with the camera.
the midwife Came and told that we will try to make an effort. I tried, but at me it did not turn out, turned out to groan only that is strictly forbidden to be done. She told:“ We lie still“. I terribly took offense. I tried, and nobody explained anything to me before... It were necessary to study on the place At last all participants of action assembled. Began to explain me something, I listened as I could and at the same time as told after the husband, I had empty eyes and it looked horribly. In general it is cool when allow to make an effort. It is impossible, it is impossible and suddenly! It is possible!!! I told doctors that I will lose the last gleams of consciousness now. The most interesting is the fact that I remember everything to the smallest details though the state at that moment did not dispose to it. Everything that around, did not become important as if some abstraction as if not with me. I was seized by a nose and told to make an effort as the head is already visible! Hurrah! M. Yu. demanded that I slipped below as me, it is visible, pulled to stars above. By heroic efforts I went down on the guilty earth and here what I did not expect and what I was not warned about - me made an epiziotomiya. I remember that I shouted and was surprised at the same time as my voice which fairly became hoarse published absolutely barbarous intonations, something from a broadcast series about wild animals. Ooh! Unfairly!!!I remember
Ya this hour 23 - 20... February 26, 2004!!! As New Year, New Century, New Life... The kid was lifted above and the young father published a delighted exhalation. And I was all eyes on mine, my , krokhotulyu! I did not cry... I all was all ears and an eye the Only question which I asked “It has all fingers?“ You will laugh until sick!!! Because I did not understand in due time at all HOW it is possible to ask such silly question! And here on you.“ Look what boy, Yulya! 3317, 52 cm“ - said me everything. To the husband set up a cub on hands and it is immensely happy and proud of itself(himself) still and, I think, forever. The kid was put to a breast, he, it is visible, was in a stress as refused to eat. On the second plan I heard how the doctor discuss with the obstetrician that I for pervorodyashchy developed very strong patrimonial activity, and the kid went as on a breach, even the head had to be corrected. I very much was proud of myself when M. Yu. told me: “You well done! You adequately carried out childbirth“. Of course, so prompt desire of my malyshik to have a look at mother with the father did not pass completely for me: 4 seams and a gap on a neck.
After the delivery me was taken out on a wheelchair to a corridor, and I had a feeling it as if I also did not give birth. Thrashed me on full, there was a wish to sing, dance and ring round all whom it is possible. My Malchushik was carried away somewhere while I was sewn up (I will give birth still, never I will not give anywhere!) . Rolled to me a Dimedrol and... till the morning I could not close eyes...I remember
Ya this day when in chamber brought me the swaddled boy, the son... He seriously looked at me, and I in all eyes on him. Such similarity I did not expect It was my reduced copy!!! My heart did not sustain and now mine synulya kept it in the small handles. I carefully took it on hands, for the first time! And tears by itself welled up. I suddenly understood what this Happiness!!! Then I understood that I want more children more - more. What those hours which I spent to patrimonial cost this only moment when you begin to feel like Mother. I was overflowed by such Lyubov and such boundless Tenderness that it is difficult to describe it on paper. I am grateful to God for the fact that I have Timofey: smiling, cunning Little mouse, I am grateful to the husband Andryushe for his patience and love, for the fact that he wanted to look how his son is born and to help me everything is resistant to take out. Here and all story about how we waited for Timoshka.I remember
Ya this day... In the morning I woke a joyful gukaniye of Tim and having opened eyes, I saw his happy smile. This is also sense of my life, I thought.