Experience of adoption
Half a year I looked on forums on adoption (on Eve. ru and 7e. ru). When already was to adopt up in arm the child, decided to give the idea to the husband.
the Husband unexpectedly accepted idea of adoption quietly and, probably, even with pleasure. In its understanding the thrown children it is other world which we diligently do not notice, though we are distressed about injustice of destiny, but we pass by with words “everything you will not help“. In two weeks after my conversation with the husband I bought the ticket and departed to Russia to take away the son. Somewhere at heart I knew that I already have a son, in an hour X we will surely meet.exactly in a month, to the huge surprise, collected by
In Russia all necessary documents. Very much worried that where - nibud I will get stuck, I will run into roughness and nonsense of “mighty of this world“, and everything will slow down. Generally, the stress was terrible, apparently, at that moment I was very nervous. But here in a month I received a treasured piece of paper about an opportunity to be an adoptive mother.
Called Oksana from the forum “Adopted child“, wrote down phone of that DR where it was given a cordial welcome... I gather at way, I cover with a jacket with strange feeling that here, at last, today I will meet HIM and everything will change. With a warm ray in heart I leave the sad dwelling. It will be thought up... And here I in DR, listen to opening speech of the chief physician about perhaps rash act which will influence my private life...
Then it apologizes that it is obliged to tell about consequences.
* * *to
Me is shown where the smallest sleep. Silence, and only puffing. The awful washed-off caps, wafer-thin handles, all such different. Kids sleep, I want to come after their awakening, it is important to me to glance in eyes. Still it seems to me that HE to me in a special way will blink:-), and my heart will miss a bit in reply.An hour and a half I wait for
below, settled down in a corridor on a sofa. The personnel drink tea in the neighboring room, the old nurse asks employees on me. To it it is strange why to me the adopted child when the medicine does miracles. Itself, perhaps, cannot become pregnant? It is possible to try for years and surely it will turn out. Some, 15 years, also turn out! No, does not understand! Now it is strange to me, I can also itself, and not in 15 years. And if could not? Why to wait and suffer so long - long these important 15 years? Why to wait for favor by nature and to suffer alone with the not dissipated love?
* * *
We again in group, they already woke up and wait when they are fed. It is still silent, surprising that nobody cries... Or it is useless? To approach and take on hands there is nobody. The nurse one on ten, fills in a temporary consolation in small bottles. The consolation is strict on the mode, each three hours. To me take out the baby. Awful malipuska, similar to a young frog. Small face, small features, terrible clothes for growth... Probably, not my, my has to look to me in eyes on - special.... It is for some reason sad, sad that it one, a little not such what I imagined. In the head thoughts rush that it is a pity, there is no choice (about one year perhaps - adopted all it one), and the chief physician such pleasant woman, but it is necessary to look for my boy in other Children`s homes.
Suddenly to me are given a small bottle and that, feed the child... Greedy sucks, taaaaky maaalenkiya, chokes, a huge hole in a nipple, too big for its 2,5 months. I am frightened, to me change a pacifier, it, it appears, nobody fed from hands... Yes, they eat in the beds, suck a small bottle lying. Main, it is correct to fix it... What it all - small, in me wakes up tenderness to this defenseless being. He eats and attentively considers me, he already fixes a look? Monitors my movements? Wow. Here he fast swallowed contents and peers at my face and... crools, crools to me (!) also smiles. Wow.. It you to me? It seems, in it something is, no, it at all not such and awful and, of course, stark naked is similar to a young frog, but such some good...
Ya, it appears, I do not know what to tell it, I am not able to crool. The child is taken away, we again at the chief physician.Is not present
, you do not hurry, think properly, and in a month - another at us will be receipt. What will choose from. Tomorrow is a new day, generally, think and if do not want to come back, do not feel defective. To you to live together, you come in a month, we to you will choose, it does not offend us.
What pleasant woman this chief physician. Cozy, big, from it heat, as from a roll proceeds. It seems, she loves the work and worries about children.
Ya I go home, any strange condition of dullness, I do not know what to do, it is necessary to talk to someone. I write on a forum, I should ask and that with me actually was, will surely explain to me. I read answers as all - is healthy, the Internet, people who adopted their experience. It appears, not at all misses a bit at once, the main thing that was not rejections.
Aha, I mean with me everything is all right, same, as well as everything, with the doubts. For some reason I do not want to continue searches of the child at all. I want to look at IT once again tomorrow. There pulls me. There are such pleasant people... I want that IT nevertheless was my miracle, let I will understand it and tomorrow, but to stop and to look for more. Hurrah, the husband calls at night. I already read the Internet - answers, I am already adjusted to go tomorrow, but still with doubts whether wash it the kid. The husband listens to my detailed story... It appears, children when small, not always at once beautiful or pretty. And as, he insists, open the children`s photo album. Hm, the truth nothing to look and... What it I? Healthy boy? Yes. I consciously lie, I know that it as the man - not the physician, will be entered into a stupor strange, nobody and nothing by the confirmed diagnoses of mother and baby. No, about medicine not of the word.He tells
, it is necessary to take the first, we not on a market. It is impossible to push luck, the best the enemy of good. Why to touch babies, the weight and color of eyes still will change, they a lot - will many times exchange. Agree... Did not allow to photograph? Well, not very well what it. We will love it, not that native to whom gave birth, and that who was loved. Go tomorrow surely, look, touch, feed... And... agree.
I sleep Badly, I want to appear quicker in Other. Morning, I call. The neuropathologist asks to call back, the chief physician will not be today. To arrive? To us? No, it is impossible in any way. You call and coordinate with the chief physician. Me shakes, they changed the mind? It was not pleasant? What if to take away the kid? Horror why I so am nervous? I worry that did not get to DR today. And how my kid? Wash?! It seems...to
Morning, I call, hurrah, the chief physician will be, but after a lunch. Thoughts turn clockwise. So, urgently, it is necessary to write down the child on independent medical inspection. I agree with hospital. All will make in one day, me as they the adoptive mother, will accept out of turn. As pleasantly, there now, for the first time the stranger decided to promote. Thanks.
Evening, telephone conversation with the chief physician. To examine the child? What for? Diagnoses everything are known... At me no, not to trust the bases to you, I justify myself. On courses we were warned, judges ask about independent inspection, I try to mumble more plausibly. Our judge of similar asks nothing, she is normal. O`key, tomorrow morning. Yes the car, we will return to three.
Uff, apparently, everything is all right. Normal judge... It is healthy, Oksana warned me too. This small city and its inhabitants begins to be pleasant to me.
Called a taxi for tomorrow to Other. Girlfriends to go to DR for the child there is no wish to ask and it is useless, adoption is against their ethics. There are affairs more important, work. Without wishing that, I pout at them, on their place I would behave in a different way. No, I precisely another. It is necessary to be above all this vanity. No, I should not pout. All have the life. I try to acquit them, but it is necessary to take offense, and I just promise myself to reduce with them communication in the future.
of Ur, again morning. Electric train. The neuropathologist from Other enters. Greets and passes by. Probably does not want to confuse or answer my questions. Arrived, we go together to Other to go not for long, on the road she asks me on my strange desire to adopt. Why it is necessary to me? I, appear, the young woman. Hm, in 28 it is possible to call the girl also.
of 26 years of work in Children`s homes. There are no children. You what you think, they will graduate from the universities??? In 26 years of work I could choose the best, but did not make it. It is a pity, in 26 years could not change the point of view. Strange, it seems the aunt quite good and absolutely without children. Who waits for it the house in it 50? Who visits on holidays? To whom does she call to share pleasure? To colleagues?* * *
Still I do not know
why I carried the child on inspection. I from the very beginning did not believe paper in which it was written that the child has a pre-natal infection with damage of a liver, brain and TsNS. Who could write such baddy, without having confirmed it with any blood test? I finally solved
this day, we come back from policlinic, the hell with them, with results, I will not wait for them. It is necessary to run in guardianship to write the application for adoption. It will be my kid! The court is appointed on the day after tomorrow, here so good luck, here in what a charm of the small city in which it is possible to solve quickly everything and to agree. I rush home, shakes me, I froze and got sick with a temperature. Almost everything behind me released, and here it, cold! Tomorrow it is necessary to buy clothes on an extract, I as the superstitious pregnant woman did not buy anything, except a carriage. All next day I rushed, buying up goods for babies. Councils of the neigbour were very useful, and I did not buy anything superfluous or unnecessary.* * *
the Doomsday was
surprisingly a lung, in 15. 00 I were at home from Zhorkaya. The court lasted 5 minutes, then in the REGISTRY OFFICE to me granted the new certificate and congratulated on a mamstvo! Ur, came true, I want to shout and jump, but there is nobody nearby and I have nobody to brag so far. After registration of all papers, and I had also to stop by at maternity hospital behind some leaf, I came to take away the son. Handed small gifts and rose to dress to Zhork Road. I remember that was afraid of it to change clothes, it such small, and I have no experience. The neuropathologist dressed it, and in beautiful clothes he seemed me such lovely baby doll. And any more not such terrible...
Almost all road he slept, did not cry at all, I held it on hands with hardly hidden delight. Really I, and am my son, at us everything turned out, and now we will be together? I was overflowed by emotions.by
* * *Zhorke`s
in January, 2005 it will be executed 6 months. This our dearest and marvelous happiness, terrific child... We adore it, the father sometimes even saves Zhorka as I, according to him, zatiskivat the child from mother. The Shor seems to me the beautiful child, well, perhaps, beautiful he seems only to us - his parents. But the fact that it the charmer, is the fact! Now to me it is even strange, well as it in my first visit could seem to me awful? I much with it walk, the benefit in this country walk with kids not an extreme, but continuous pleasure. People constantly approach me different age to tell what remarkable and nice kid at me they, congratulate me.Zhork`s
are adored by attention, smiles so that heart thaws, each woman feels special, so he favors them smiles, will begin to rock. The father adores taking in Zhorik`s supermarket with himself, the cash desk has, as a rule, a turn, and Zhorka manages to smile charmingly, and some even to polepetat on an unintelligible adverb. As a result the father collects the sea of compliments and leaves a supermarket with the next portion of pleasure.Zhora very quiet child, the husband often repeats
:“ Katka, well as to you was lucky, such terrific child got to you! As it is great that you such resolute and you visited the next superidea, and you risked to realize it“.
I think for what I was so lucky? Probably, I am a quite good person, time such miracle with us now.Zhork`s
already with pleasure eats greedily a squash. At it I try to eat nothing as he begins to smack the lips ridiculously lips for this reason I decided to give it a feeding up. At it in 5,5 months tooth got out. I still am in wild delight from this fact. We, mad parents, carried in a carriage it in a zoo. The father raised it on hands, continually showing animals.
Zhorik at us is crazy about the father as ours daddy all off-duty time rushes from Zhorkaya, songs to it sings what he will remember. That tells something, and Zhorka listens and smiles. Just carries on hands on the apartment, showing all corners. Sometimes it is even necessary to drive away the father that put could play. Puts bed, sings lullabies...Zhork`s
wakes up always with a smile and babbles loudly, we will not wake up yet. Cries seldom, and when wants to eat, and there is no small bottle nearby.by
Now at it scratch gums, he gnaws all toys if the igrukha big, then strongly is indignant why it resists. Did not learn, tries to creep yet, but it is impossible to it. Just adores when it is put on legs and support, begins to squall and smile joyfully.
Me, thanks to Zhorik pulled on amateur feats. I to it “sheathed“ a bed - sewed a cover, a side, a pillow, even bed linen! In - the project sports suits for the house.
my life became filled and easier, perhaps. Now any problems to me seem insignificant as from Zhorkaya to me now the sea knee-deep. I everything can do also to me every one is able! For the sake of Zhorki I am ready to pull up trees.