Rus Articles Journal

Utopias for tomorrow from Francoisa Dolto of

“The place for children and their parents is opened...
Why?

Because we know

how important to kids and their parents since the birth to be prepared for social life.

Because parents often turn out

cut off from the whole world and are closed in difficulties which they experience in private with the kids.

It - not day nursery, not kindergarten, not group where leave children under supervision. It is the place of the word, the vacation spot where mothers and fathers, grandfathers and grandmothers, nurses and wet nurses are accepted together with children for whom they care“.

From the text widespread in Paris before opening Mezon Vert.

on light dreamers

Sometimes Are I think: “What happiness that there are several people famous to me in this world who chose it!“

What “it“ means? It is it made that they really wanted: became a little bit prophets and managed to embody own prophecy. You only felt: “It can be“, and they already formulated and speak: “And it already is“!

Francoisa Dolto

She a lot of things in a new way saw

and created on the taste. Was in time not only understand, write, tell, support, but also to create for growth. Not to children for growth, and for growth adult.

“And you, Francoisa whom you want to become when you grow up?“ - someone from adults when it was around eight asked it.
- the Doctor - the tutor.
- What it means?
- It means to be such doctor who knows that children sometimes are ill how they are brought up“.

Francoisa did not find faculty at which would give specialty which she chose for herself in the childhood. She got two educations, medical and psychoanalytic.

( are Hereinafter given fragments from F. Dolto`s book “On the party of the child“. - Yekaterinburg: At - the Trading station, 2003 )

They dream of something...

I here I thumb through the book “On the Party of the Child“ written by doctor Dolto more than in sixty years after the above-stated conversation.

its contents reminds

a utopia. One chapter and is called:“ Utopias for tomorrow“.

O than the author of the book who became well-known “the doctor - the tutor dreams“?

About that in the adult`s life there was always a scope for creativity and risk that people did not depreciate manual skills, and experts could replace a profession several times.

About that the teenagers who fell in love with each other could establish families and would not be afraid to give birth to children that adults left to the children space for searches of and development.

She writes

about school of the future in which children have freedom to choose, as to study how deeply and when to hand over on examinations.

She thinks out kindergarten which premises connected among themselves, and “children could visit each other in search of such corner which would suit them and would correspond to their interests“.

They for someone dream...

It seems to

, she would like to change the whole world, but devoted the professional career to children to four.

its decision was influenced by the experience gained during practice in lunatic asylum near Paris.

Working with

there, she met women who were selected in public transport and after the distributor placed on treatment. The women who are suffering from senile dementia, depressed or having a strong feeling of fault after unfortunate love or abortion. Old and young, they were mixed in tightly the closed chambers and were in full inaction.

“I realized that, irrespective of weight of psychiatric defeat, all these women... spoke about the early childhood... And it claimed me in thought that it is necessary to take care of children to prevent this evil: it is necessary to help them to express what otherwise will blow up later“.“ It is necessary to help these beings to say that these suppressed remains of the childhood could find to themselves expression and were not shown in an unrecognizable look as a result of the test postponed at adult age“.

And something inspires them...

unexpressed it got Understanding of importance of the statement from psychoanalysis which during its professional formation actively developed in France. It was sure that many future “problems“ which will arise at the child can be prevented if in due time to find for him necessary words.

If the kid was born

from unwanted pregnancy if his parents left or mother is forced to earn money, removing the child in advertizing if he has a congenital illness - he needs to tell about it. Otherwise he will feel unclear from where he the undertaken alarm, fear, grief, fault of parents and it will misinterpret. Physical and mental violations of children and “the difficulties of adults which undertook“ can turn out to be consequence of it from nowhere.

Such look began to be built at Dolto from supervision over life of own family.

“I was the fourth child in a family (during that time we, children, were at parents already six). The Englishwoman who looked after kids (mother was engaged in those who are more senior), often had skirmishes with the cook. The youngest had vomitings. Called the doctor, and he ordered diets. The kid cried with hunger.

Having hammered

into a corner, I deliberated: why the doctor does not ask what at you occurred? Why, having learned that the younger brother has an indigestion, he speaks: “It is necessary to put the child into a diet and three days to hold houses“? And if he asked: “What at you came from six till eight in the evening?“ - then began to tear the brother, he would learn that the Englishwoman squabbled with the cook, and that shouted at her. And I noticed it (I was five years old), but nobody asks me about it. And it seemed to me that, know about it the doctor, he could calm my brother:

“Do not pay attention, they quarreled, but it is not necessary from - for it to worry. It is eternal female squabble between the cook and Ms. I understood it long ago so you can quite do without vomiting. What to you put before their quarrels!“

“I wanted

that the doctor whom mother called when someone from children got sick was not taken prisoner opinions which were expressed by mother - it is supposedly an onset of the illness, - and understood that the child wants to express something, and would guess in what business“...

And something they sotvoryat...

Dolto`s

was not that who creates the theory in hope that followers will realize it.“ Gradual revolution“ - the section of its book “On the Party of the Child“ so was called. Its social invention Mezon Vert, in Russian - the Green house is revolutionary.

Mezon Vert were become special space. Here conditions were created in order that what has to be stated, expressed, so, would exempt from ITSELF those in whom IT still remained neprogovoreny.

Who brought to

THIS unexpressed in Mezon Vert?

Adult with children from zero to three.

here them was waited Every day by the three accepting (the people working in Mezon Vert so were called). It consisted of the teacher, the psychoanalyst and the doctor who did not learn did not treat and did not make diagnoses.

their task was to acquaint coming with Mezon Vert, to explain the rules existing here and... to notice what is not stated, and at an opportunity to talk IT together with comers.

O than Dolto talked to visitors in the first Green house?

Also turns out here...

One white mother who gave birth to the child from the black man did not say

About the “wrong“ love to the child that he is a metis. She addressed in Mezon Vert. Generally children - metises are, as a rule, beautiful.

We tell

to it: “He is beautiful, your child... Fine mixture of breeds“.

Expression touched with

it.

“You never said

to it that he is a metis and for this reason it is beautiful?“

“Is not present

, I live alone with it...“

“But you loved his father. Where is he from? From Africa? From the Antilles?“

to

Suits the child, and I speak to it:“ I just argue with your mother why you are a metis, I want to know who was your father who gave you life who made so that you are such beautiful, such beautiful metis“.

“Oh, - mother says, - I can never tell it it“.

the Child turns to mother and speaks: “In kindergarten I am Negrito“.

“As? What do you tell it?“

“You see

, - I say, - it was necessary to tell it that it the mixed blood - the metis. You have to explain to him that he is a love child between you, white, and his father, the Black whom you loved“.

“About! But he will never see this person! It has an uncle, my family...“

“Yes, but it cannot identify your brother with the father, it cannot be a fruit of an incestuous relationship! And then, this person, you loved him...“

“Oh, yes (a pearl tear), the whole six years, we were students, but it was distributed on the homeland, they have a polygamy there, it could not remain with me“.

“Yes, but the child was born from your love. You love it. Why about it not to tell and not to show to the child photos of his father“.

“I do not have

them any more“.

“For certain is!“

When it came again, such conversation took place:

“You were right

- one photo remained with me“.

“You it showed

to it?“

“Yes, I told it: “Look, this is your father“.

“You see it?“

“Yes, when it comes to France. He wants to see the kid, but I do not want it, I am afraid that it will take away it to itself(himself)“.

“Well

, it is conventional, you are his mother, it has no rights for the child. Between you there are intimate relations when it comes to France?“

“Yes“.

“Means, you still have to it feelings, and it is very important for the child. Live mainly heart, but or it is not accepted not what is accepted“.

... About boom - boom - the boom

“At us in Mezon Vert is the small tank with water standing on height of two steps. In two years of our work we never saw that children played with machines at the second step about a tank. And here the eighteen-monthly girl gets there, hardly wears out the machine, having clamped it between knees, and pushes together it from there: boom - boom - boom. Also continues in the same spirit.

without imitating it At all, her three-year-old brother in other time wears out the truck there and pushes together it from steps in precisely the same way. So it was necessary to both the brother and the sister.

I observe

Ya and I see that parents, and in particular the father, fly into a rage from that game which was thought up by children though this game disturbed nobody.

asked

Ya mother: “When children were small and were in a carriage, you should have gone down or climbed with a carriage steps? also do not remind“
““, - she laughs, the husband - too.

Mother explains

to me: “We lived in the dress circle, and we had an intolerable concierge who did not allow me to leave a carriage on... already close exit. So I to reach our apartment, was forced to lift constantly a carriage on seven - eight steps and when the second was born, in a carriage became two children so I went downstairs... boom - boom - boom...“

A the husband - rolled up scenes: abused both the concierge, and the wife who could not convince the concierge that it is necessary to leave a carriage below and that it is brutal in relation to it. In the same way today it is literally ready to destroy the children.

“This - that also does not get to your children, - I then told parents. - Here what they do“.

the Baby heard this “bumkanye“ in the first 3 - 4 months. And her brother - all the infancy. And they in the language, by means of these machines, “returned“ that, the with mother, safety: the boom - boom - boom, down, and again to rise, and again boom - boom - boom.... These two children did not play, and really endured a state necessary for them“.

Also proceeds so...

“These two parents that day learned

which - that important for themselves, they understood that the child finds feeling of safety when recreates that “language“ which it acquired in communication with the mother“. He needs “to feel own safety since the very first months of life, and it includes that the child even if it for it is abused, reproduces, repeats some situations. It is process of integration, initiation in life, and children repeat it on the of manners. But in order that to understand it, it should be seen. Such opportunity is also provided by Mezon Vert.

I it is important that it occurs before society accepts or does not accept the child. At this stage not only violations at the child, but also misunderstandings, misunderstanding of adults - are reversible. Parents thus open for themselves that such understanding of the world their children. The fact that they at first took for tics, manias, a whim or nonsense what irritated them opens before them a tremendous network of invisible communications which were formed around the most ordinary events of the first years of life of the child when existence of young couple was burdened with an array of problems.

the Father flying into a rage from infinite “boom - boom - the boom“ the machine and the truck, eventually, with relief burst out laughing: “Would not come to my mind that my son and my daughter remember that ladder comedy and that all this is desire to return it!“

the Father from the last history at last - burst out laughing with

, and the boy - the metis found reliable protection from offensive “Negrito“.

A for many children and parents one more opportunity to be heard and accepted increased. Now about three hundred Green houses work in the world.

F. Dolto`s Book “On the party of the child“ can be bought

, in Moscow it is possible to come to “A green door“.