Life: a view from crutches of
According to the standard opinion, circulation on crutches has to be awful and intolerable. However when you know that crutches are for a long time, it is necessary to adapt and look at a problem from the practical point of view. And then it turns out that everything is not so terrible and with it live too.This life began
on March 1, 2003 when because of the drunk driver who took off on an oncoming lane we had an accident. Papa and Fedya, my son who was 11 months old died on the spot. Mother in a serious condition brought to Sklif, me - in 50 - yu hospital. God is merciful and we do not remember accident. >
of the Trauma at us it were p almost identical - a fragmental fracture of the left hip and concussion, at mother it is heavier and the second knee is damaged. One and a half months in hospital on the next beds (relatives achieved my transfer to Sklif to mother), heavy operation and half a year on crutches. >
Unexpectedly it turned out p that in position of the seriously ill patient of the person except a grief, pain and fear, it is possible to find the place and to other feelings. Perhaps, survive everything, we would feel sorry for ourselves more, position of the disabled person, let and acquired for a while, would seem intolerable, and life on crutches - gloomy. But there was everything as it happened, and injuries, despite gravity, became not the biggest problem (thanks to Sklif`s surgeons: remarkably collected legs and very sincerely treated us). Just there was no nothing else left how to take a detached view of the situation and with humour therefore experience was decided to consider positive and worthy transferrings on paper. Perhaps, to someone he will help to treat in a different way a difficult situation or it is better to understand the sick relative. But it is better if this experience is not required to you at all.
So if you have in hands crutches...
First: both dizzinesses, and weakness, and fear to go on a ladder. Gradually everything passes. It is a question only of time and desire. The more you go, the better you feel. However restoration process not fast, and in half a year all of us still were tired more mere mortals.
in principle, the person with crutches can almost everything:. It is possible to dare to stay at home and accept cares of relatives month, at most two. But for half a year at such relation to a question you lose the will to win, you weaken and you degrade. It is good if is for whom to care and for whom to live. Elderly parents and small children who require attention and leaving - the best medicine, but the most important here - desire to live as much as possible fully.
that summer we lived two weeks at the dacha by wonderful structure: mother with crutches, I with crutches, washing 90 - the summer grandmother and six-year-old Sashka. In life there is always a place to a feat:. It was necessary also water from a well to carry in a can in 10 receptions and to lift the fallen fence, and even to utilize dry closet contents in compost (I will not describe the result of this action here not to injure sensitive natures). All these actions performed by team lame most of all reminded tours “Masks - Show“. The men covering to the neighbor a roof gave up work, took off T-shirts, lit and, having opened mouths, watched our actions.
Had to adapt to life at limited opportunities. Each new independent action was a small victory. Got independently into a bathtub? Hurrah!!! It was succeeded to carry a cup with tea from kitchen to the room? Hurrah! Hurrah!!! The first time itself descended in shop? Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!!!it reminds nothing
to you? Correctly! Then I well understood that three-year-old children feel, enduring crisis “I“. Here you are helpless, all help you, for you all do (me in hospital from the best motives tried and to spoon-feed - it is awful). And suddenly you feel that you can itself (to reach a toilet, to wash the dishes, to catch a taxi and somewhere to go on affairs). Your pride is indescribable. There is a wish bigger. And here it turns out that all got used to care for you and are not going to hand over positions without fight. And suddenly to you, the adult, speak: “Neeeet, nizyay! You will not be able“. You to them: “To a smog, I tried - it turns out“. And you:“ It is not necessary, is not necessary. We will make it better“. Offensively, annoyingly also leads through some time to fight for independence which is perceived as an ingratitude.by
on the other hand, itself you get used that it is simpler to ask someone to bring - a tax, than to collect crutches too and, being stirred house, it is proud to stride for necessary most. At first it is justified, and then becomes a habit of which it is necessary to get rid, reminding itself: “Eeee, the friend, crutches - that is not present any more!“ .
on the other hand, it is not necessary to wait for postoyannodeystvuyushchy optimism. Moods everyones are. Sometimes really “attacks“ and it is necessary to afford eases up to full apathy. The main thing not to be fond of pity to itself. The broken leg - a remarkable occasion to be engaged in what in usual life there is not enough time and moral forces for. Children of the fairy tale can embroider, knit, read, compose, eventually - to revise favourite movies remorselessly.
If you go on crutches, be ready that all passers “city mentally ill people“ will be yours. Did not pass day that on the street did not point a finger or did not stick with council. And having seemed on the street together, we caused the real furor. Eventually, a conclusion was born that our people to others problems are not indifferent. And the unindifference shares on constructive (the help in overcoming of obstacles or the word of sympathy) and not constructive (the open mouths of counter pensioners and harassment of advisers which are often accepting aggressive coloring). The deification happened when about the subway stuck to me not really tidy the uncle, regularly standing on the street with the announcement “I rule scoliosis and osteochondrosis“. At the sight of the potential client his eyes lit up and with shout “I know that you needed“ to pursue it me. I, naturally, refused its help, having politely explained that everything that could be set, set in Sklif. But it did not help. The uncle got a certain magic garlick tincture and began it to water me, promising that now I will reject crutches and I will go home under the own steam. It was necessary to run away, rescuing clothes pure so far, the uncle did not give up. It was necessary to send it far away then he took offense and told that:“ Now you forever will remain with crutches and so to you and it is necessary“.
do not hope that you will be passed in shop without turn or to give way in the subway. That is, will be, of course, good people at us much, but if you choose active life, it is worth counting on the forces. Not to take offense then. Here a big scope for psychological and sociological researches:. What pleasure to observe how the young people who did not guess toil to take with itself the saving newspaper. Also it is could not sit, and there is no wish to concede. Or hopeless line in country shop of about 10 slightly pokhmyoly men where we came with the grandmother and Sasha for a kefirchik. Men long in half-voices discussed that “it is those, which...“ . Thought - will pass. But it turned out that beer is more important. On the other hand, of course, nobody is obliged... It was necessary to remind himself of it constantly.our City for disabled people is not adapted by
. Neither people, nor transport, nor buildings are ready to your emergence. Heavy as on a case of atomic warfare, a door of an entrance strive to slam you. It is difficult to cross the road even on green light of the traffic light. Slightly was late - drivers surely start in your direction. The zebra for transition is not considered at all. There are healthy legs - will run across if carries. With two crutches to get into the bus it is almost unreal. The exception makes “Mercedes“ with a low footboard. At many people in eyes it is read:“ Well where you got out with the crutches? Would stay at home“. It is possible to stay at home month. And you will not spend half a year or, especially, all life of the house. Probably, we have a society of optimists: nobody thinks that tomorrow it can appear on the place of this old man or disabled person who hardly overcomes an obstacle course on the road from the house to shop. All live for today. >
Most important - it appears p, all these difficulties are surmountable. The desire to live fully is stronger than inconveniences and moral discomfort. Time which we spent on crutches, is for some reason remembered with pleasure as though it was succeeded to get something important that was not earlier.
I very best main thing: The world not without kind people. Moreover, there is a lot of good people ! In usual life it is not noticeable and when there is a misfortune - you are helped suddenly not only by the family and friends, but also absolutely strangers. It reconciles with life. Our world is better, than it seems.