Rus Articles Journal

Whether it is necessary to tell each other about the past?

If to learn in advance how darling or darling will treat the story about your last partners, it is impossible whether then it is worth starting conversation about it in general? Opinions are shared, we read arguments of pros and cons.

Whatever one may do, and experience of last relations - be they happy or tragic, is at everyone. Not much will carry to meet the love on the next pot in kindergarten and to live together till an old age … Therefore, meeting the new person, we, even exempted from freight of former feelings and ready to new turn in life, nevertheless pull the backpack filled past behind shoulders … And whether sometime we here will allow to rummage in it is mute to darling?

Of course, there is a wish to know all about the half: how he (she) lived till this time in what conditions he (she) grew, than was interested (-the expert)? Full revelation is an indicator of trust and attachment, before the stranger the soul is not turned inside out. And many take offense if their young man or the girl does not want to tell about the last relations and passions. Especially it disturbs some women.

In - the first, owing to the nature to them the curiosity is elementary to tame not in power, they want to learn, how more nicely or more terrible, predecessors were fuller or more slender? In - the second, women like to analyze and study on others mistakes: knowing what problems in the relations her darling had with former and from - for what they left, the woman as the skilled sapper, will know dangerous places and to avoid them. Eventually, each woman for self-complacency needs to learn what with one woman, never in life her man had such of the cordial and touching relations , as with it.

To men who by the nature - leaders and owners, similar stories are unpleasant. They prefer to think that for the woman - edinstvenna and are unique. No, its experience in life and in a bed - it is fine but as well as with whom it was received - the man better not to know .

All this can generate jealousy (there is no wish to share the person with anybody, even with memoirs), mistrust, to undermine own self-assessment and to lead to quarrels in couple.

Many are covered by fear that some big and important pieces of life of their darling remain for them in the shadow. However rushes to revelations can seriously impair a little the relations. Before beginning conversation on the past, it is necessary to ask itself a question: Whether “Really I want to know it? Whether there will be nothing painful and unpleasant for me there?“

Personally I the information about the former women of the guys always perceived as information garbage . I cannot tell that jealously treated it because all this was perceived is no more as legends, as stories from antecedents … But the fact that I did not need all this - obviously. If my man did not remain from one of those whom remembers, so they were his unworthy choice. If the relations eventually ended with the fact that these bitches broke to it heart - means, it once again confirms the previous thesis. Why to know about such women?

No if the man needs to express, share (sometimes there are sick stories about which you tell nobody, but feeling that it is necessary to be uttered, splash out it from itself - remains), then for God`s sake. But for me it will be something like moral rape as vsey experience I will live also sharply, being overflowed with feeling of the correspondence disrespect or even hatred to the strangers unknown to me, women.

In most cases of reminiscence of the past turn into comparisons . If not from the one who tells, then from the one who listens. Each relations - are unique. It is impossible to create one template and to use it with different people. But want to seize the good and pleasant moments all. Unless the woman who will hear from the elect a story about a breakfast in a bed for one of passions or sex in an unusual situation, mentally will not design it on the relations: and whether it did it for it? And if is not present - the worm of doubts will begin to bite soft fabrics of thin matters gradually.

They say that without the past there is no future. Probably, it concerns the relations too. With each new person we become more skilled, we do not dare to do nonsenses of youth more wisely and any more. But, at the same time, we will not be able to open a new door, without having closed previous.

Recently one girl told me about evening of revelations with the young man, summarizing need of such conversation by the phrase: “I want that between us there were no secrets“.

The former relations are not a secret. It is the passable stage to which there is not always a wish to come back even in thoughts. Therefore I consider (at once I will ask to treat the reader it as to true subjectivity) that if you became on one way with some person, it is not necessary to walk back and by that to move back. New life has to be new! Without old backpacks and suitcases … Filling hands with all this stuff which, happens, it is even heavy to bear, you just will be unable to open embraces towards to the happiness …