Aimlessly lived years ofof Opening, in itself, not late to do not only at young age, but also under an old age, and even as it seems to me, and in advanced years. I, for example, in the middle of the life, when as Americans speak, reached top of the hill of the life also began descent to the valley, found out that I the first half of the life lived incorrectly. Lived absolutely stupidly and criminal, in relation to himself and to the family. It is wrong and stupid because, being brought up by the correct parents and even more correct books, I is absolutely serious, to the first gray hairs believed that it is necessary to tell the truth. And also to arrive.
Having filled the first cones in the yard where on a question of more senior children - local hooligans why I do not communicate with them, I answered “Because it is not interesting to me to smoke in a gate or to steal jeans from ropes“, or at school, from the mathematics teacher why I was not at last lesson, did not tell, poluobmorochno rolling up eyes, about suddenly sick grandmother, or about crash of the trolleybus by which I went, with unexpectedly sat down on the carriageway the airbus, and it is absolutely honest and goluboglazo, told the truth: “I do not love mathematics therefore I did not come“, I learned nothing.
The army, institute was farther. I remember in army, I the honesty embarrassed the chief of a staff, the Ukrainian`s handsome - the colonel with the Chapayevsk vusa who was very loving Vysotsky. Already when in a pocket of “Afghan“ at me transfer to other part, on a question lay that so was not pleasant to me, I openly told: “Officers drink and steal. And grandfathers mock at young people“. In total to see how the face of the colonel was apoplectic poured by blood and to spend the next night and the subsequent in the afternoon on “lip“. From “lip“ I was pulled out already by a lunch because to perform work for the idling ofitserye, there was nobody.
And then there was also a general - the major who collected all division around a lonely small group of shit which was left by some fighter directly on a parade-ground. The general long told something about an indiscipline of armed forces, about lack of culture and disrespect, and I take, the fool, and address him: “Companion general - the major, allow to address?“. The general stopped short, officers internally schuffled, my company pulled me a belt behind and hissed: “Where you climb, the fool?“.
“Companion general, the heap was imposed not from disrespect and not from lack of culture. And from the fact that young people to be afraid to go at night to a toilet. Last week to one young thrust a knife in a leg. And another was beaten round the corner. Therefore they also do not reach, so to speak. And this heap - some kind of that you paid attention“.
All division then hummed and swelled out. My company, in a subconscious state, it is oath promised to let rot me in dresses. His commander promised to let rot him. And the general promised to let rot all division. But also it taught me to nothing. The correct books not so that it was simple to etch from the bad head - though I read everything since five years.
Obzhenivshis - having honestly taken that which tempted me in the wife, I understood all crime of the honest life: women least of all appreciate sincerity and frankness. No, they hate them all gills and fibers of the thin soul. Even it is more than avarice. Even it is more than poverty.
- As I look today - the wife asked me, being dressed up in some modern loose overall to some foolish party.
- Also as well as yesterday. Only is one put older - I answered honestly to receive in reply an accusatory glance and to be left next day without breakfast and a lunch.
- You did not say goodbye to my mother! - indignantly the spouse after a campaign to them on a visit squalled.
- Your mother all the dissatisfied hag who, besides called me the boor for the fact that I expressed the opinion on her kitchen garden - I chestnootvechat, and was perplexed why on the truth to me declared sexual boycott for all next week.
Being dismissed from a lucrative post where it was necessary to suffer rudeness of the administration moreover and to close eyes to any vsyakost, constantly going on the transaction with the conscience about what I, on the honesty, take and tell the chief, I honestly told about the adherence to principles and honesty and the wife, in reply hoping to receive, at least, a delighted look. But she did not estimate my generous impulse. And all next year askanced in my party and whispered with the mother about me, it “the fool who exchanged the rich income for poor adherence to principles“. The blow was double: my honesty was not estimated by the chief, and it was not estimated by my better half.
Here at that time I also hesitated for a time in the sacred belief in obligatory honesty. Having looked back and having analysed all misfortunes of the life, I came to an unfavourable conclusion that all my troubles, generally from - for my exclusive honesty. I was shocked. How so? Us always learned to tell the truth. In a kindergarten, at school, in a family. All heroes of books and cinema were exclusively honest and basic persons.
Having recovered a little, I decided to confirm fidelity of the discoveries made by me in practice. For a start I learned to be silent. To keep the mouth shut.
- How there took place negotiations with the Chinese side? - the director asked us.
- Well. We created a furor. The contract at us in a pocket - lied my chief. I that knew that instead of being at negotiations, he slept sluggishly and immoderately drunk at himself in number at this time. My language and scratched. But I got it together, and kept silent.
- Well - the director rotated eyes enough, joked, joked - in a word to him it was good, so it was good also to us. And in a week he forgot both about Chinese, and about other representatives of the Asian people.
And a bit later, behind ability ability to invent came to be silent. First it was extremely difficult. Lies demanded imagination. Flight of fancy. But in limits. Otherwise it was possible to depart so, and so then to crash down from lies clouds on the earth of severe reality, as to beat off all livers.
- How you went to Moscow? - the director asked.
- Oh, we held a number of negotiations. Saw so and so. Visited these and those. So fruitfully worked that …
- Well - the director interrupted me, screwing up the face from my lies. - Write the report.
- I Obey! - and I cooked the report where I with inspiration lied, already and without reddening.
In private life after, eventually, my wife did not stand such pathological honest me and left to mother, I learned to keep mum, invent and embellish too.
As my present girlfriend lied to me about her extraordinary employment, that she got sick that it needs to help someone, - well what she is all such altruist and I did not lag behind. And when at it lit up, and at me died away, or just there was a wish to sleep and roll about in front of the TV, destroying sandwiches, I told it that I need to meet the daughter, that on Saturday it is necessary to come to work, and on Sunday to treat cold and so on. I learned to think out even, noble pretexts to the lies. And everything fell into place. I learned to lie. And to lie so that I began to be trusted. While earlier, treated my truths, to put it mildly, mistrustfully. All the time suspecting me of lie.
Life was adjusted. Conscience ceased to torment. Colleagues began to trust. Women to give languishing looks. And I understood what is empty and aimlessly lived the first half of the silly life. Well in the second half I will make up for lost time!