Lessons of Chinese - it is actual?the director Chinese courses Took in head at us to organize. For increase, so to speak, the intellectual level of workers. Took in head right after to China went.
A that, such courses now in fashion. Chinese - language of international communication of the future. Chinese of wons as breed. Their Chinese population as yeast dough grows. They already and the East of Russia peacefully occupied. And in Europe of them it is full. And only when they foreign languages study it. It will bother them soon, and they, because of the large number, will force all of us on great and mighty to parlekat.
And so, began to organize these courses. However, did not begin to ask workers whether they want to increase this most intellectual level to themselves. It is necessary to them Chinese or they prefer Ukrainian to it. Or in general want to cross stitch. It doesn`t matter. No sooner said than done.
The teacher appointed your obedient servant. Caused and told: “To be to you, Daredevils, a teacher“. And told: “You will teach Chinese“. I even choked for unexpected pleasure. Me? To teach Chinese? I think if our director, having given in to style, decided to organize at us courses of the Kama Sutra and to appoint me the chief instructor, then and here I would have no choice. I know language really a little. Studied it at institute. Several times even translated some documents for the director. But that the teacher … I tell
Ya to him: let me be better to teach English. I know it better. And then - English everywhere in the course. And it to me, poigryvy gold ring: not, English it is already irrelevant. Not fashionably. All know English. And here Chinese is language of the future. I, speak, there was, saw and therefore you to me, Daredevils, do not contradict. But not that is I will get angry.
Began to make lists of “persons interested“, so. And the desire was revealed, so as follows (I know, was present): our trade-union committee walked on all departments and joyfully so declared that, say, Chinese courses will be organized. And joyfully so hinted that acted as the initiator of idea... guess from three times … Well, of course, director.
All understood a hint correctly and amicably, though is a little sad, signed up for courses. Even Maria Fiodorovna, our most senior worker and in combination the laboratorian never leaving the laboratory unless in a toilet registered. Or rather, wrote down it when she as at school, being hard of hearing and without having caught something, raised a hand that to ask something. And its gesture was taken for laudable consciousness and right there joyfully entered in lists. It has, by the way, already two great-grandsons, and it goes with a stick. But it anything. As they say, all age are obedient to love and knowledge. However, the first three lessons she was persistently tormented by one question: why to it this most Chinese? In China it has no relatives. Also it goes unless only to grandsons on the dacha, to Sosnovka. So there too Chinese are not observed yet that on Chinese to talk to them.
And so it, poor, this question tormented that it, warm, at the first lesson about it take from the director who too there was present and ask. The director silently got up, left to a board, removed me sidewise away and began to us, irresponsible, to explain all importance and necessity of studying of Chinese. Here you, speaks, you will go to business trip to China as I... (It there already for the fifth time went. There arrived happy. Tells, vodka with snakes, degrees sixty there. And everywhere one Chinese). How you, speaks, you will talk to them? Russian they - not in tooth a leg. English, speaks, they only in big cities understand. Dai that in a slipshod way. And in the province, for example, to Zhoypa? Or, there, in the city of Dzhundzhchan? You, speaks, everyone will deceive. And there you will take in head to do business, and? And to take a taxi that from point A to be included in point B? And at restaurant to have dinner? Will take you and instead of pork some there, in the name of God, will palm off a sobachatina? Or to a dragon fried?
Well, got into such Chinese jungle, got into a fuss on our dullness and short-sightedness so that poor Maria Fiodorovna waved in horror hands and promised not to ask more silly questions.
The first occupation I which - as carried out. Told everything that knew about the Chinese hieroglyphs. Mentioned a few geography of the country. Political system. Topographical features. Told about an intense situation with Tibet. And then I think: generally, it turns out not a lesson of Chinese, but some lesson of a political information.
I prepared for the second occupation especially. Found free Chinese courses in the Internet, unpacked the simplest dialogues. Translated them. Well, I think, the second lesson has to hold on.
On the second occupation the director was not. It at that time was in Dusseldorf. Instead of the registered thirty people came to my lecture only three. Maria Fiodorovna and two more, that did not know that the director on a trip. I, because of absence of the obvious majority, suggested to talk about how everyone will celebrate New year better. Maria Fiodorovna told how to cook New Year`s salad. Svistunov from supply told how he went to last days off on fishing. And Novikov`s secretary told what stunning dress she bought on sale. And there passed hour, and all of us happy with each other went home.
But the director was already present at the following lesson and therefore in a class all thirty persons interested to learn Chinese gathered. Their eyes burned with thirst of knowledge, and I told them about how to greet and say goodbye on - Chinese. How to ask “How are you doing?“ and still something. I do not remember. I was so bothered by this Chinese torture that next day I did not sustain and since the morning went to the director, in strong determination to stop this disgrace.
Hardly I began with the words “Companion Director, Chinese - Very Difficult Language …“ as it interrupted me and told: “You are right, Daredevils. Without Chinese it is possible to manage. Influence of Chinese in the world is not so still big. And here I just returned from Dusseldorf, and you know that German - the most popular language in Europe, after English? What on it is told not only in Europe, but also even in Africa?“ Also read to me small lecture, for half an hour, about the importance of German.
It finished the monologue with words which forced me to regret that I to it came: “I heard that you know German? Means so after you finish with Chinese courses, start German courses. Yavol?! German is force. On it is mute many classics spoke and wrote. Goethe, Schiller, Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels. Brothers Grimm wrote fairy tales, by the way, too in German. And then cars at them quite good. I have, for example, six-hundredth “Mercedes“. Reliable car. Germans are able to do them. And beer at them - so-so. Anything special. Well, give, give. Now go, do not prevent to work“.
He leaned back in a spacious chair, in sweet memories of the German cars and beer, and I trudged to prepare for the next lesson of Chinese, thinking of that, but whether not to write to me the notice of resignation and to finish all time. Because to me was not das an ist fantastish at all.