Day of elimination of violence against women ofWhat is the time I live in this world, as much I hear about violence against women, and as much time this problem not only is not solved, and is opposite aggravated, gets more and more terrible forms and a violent coloring, and the number of the victims - injured women grows in a geometrical progression. Knifed, poured by acid and just died from hands once blessed, women, cannot but cause in all normal people, irrespective of a floor, to themselves compassion and thirst of punishment in relation to the torturers. Everything is right: also as “the thief has to be imprisoned - the tyrant and the torturer has to be punished“. Violence in all its manifestations - extremism also it has to be always condemned, but I would like to pay attention to another.
Despite all righteousness and correctness of our progressive concepts, the violence problem in relation to women not only is not solved, and has as experts in the field tell, negative dynamics. That is, growth is available. The necessary laws as we every time are assured by deputies and legalists, are accepted, guilty persons bear punishment, the former and potential victims are educated as not to fall a victim.
In my opinion, unintentionally, or it is rather on a narrow-minded potreba of such plain most of the same women - the potential victims, in all this perspective nearly the most important point is missed quite simple and at the same time. Namely - the criminal, the man. The reason, whose mechanisms, over and over again, year after year, decade after a decade, persistently does not hurry to comprehend the public, but, as always, which nearly with secret pleasure, hurries to attract, hide, punish in every possible way. No, it, of course, is right: “the thief has to be imprisoned - the tyrant and the torturer has to be punished“. Only, without correction of the reason, still any problem was not solved by punishment, correction of a consequence. It is possible to treat quite successfully smallpox, prolonging the patient life for a month, two, year, facilitating for a while its fate, and it is possible to invent a vaccine and practically to liquidate the prime cause.
Of course, visible and fast motions from such fast “to catch and punish“ will be always. And the general public is eager for fast decisions. Because, also as quickly it lights up any indignation, also quickly from it and cools down. Both from measures fast and at a superficial glance effective, first, the problem really begins to have “positive dynamics“. But it only at the beginning. And it is farther, the problem as a microbe, goes underground, imitates, is poured by force, and through short time becomes only more. The microbe becomes stronger and more cunning.
A microbe - the man - the criminal. There is no vaccine, and there is only an antiquated set of ways of fight against a microbe which is hastily adopted at the West, so unlike us, and which only proved long ago the short-term effectiveness and whose superficial efficiency only lulls ours into a false sense of security. Ways of fight - a pill and a tablet, in the form of inefficient methods of punishment of criminals, inconsistent education of the former and potential victims, sluggish bodies of local protection in the form of social services, militia, the public. And almost any knowledge of “enemy“, “microbe“. What stirs up its activity what methods of prevention exist how to fight to, but not later if you survive.
That why and why there are more than a half of all men, at some point the relations with the woman, raises a hand against her, probably concerns nobody. The offended female public, in emotional waste of thirst of vengeance, apparently, it is much more important to punish the criminal, than all the rest. The reasons of “phase lag“ of very few people interest, and the majority falls into a permanent lethargy further, having accepted sleeping pill under the name “Zhertvopozhalin - Vinovnonakazan“.
Even when men are criminals, having analysed the behavior and having confessed, try to explain somehow mechanisms of the sudden aggression, the public headed by the female unanimous majority negoduyushche exclaims: “It also comes true!“. When he only tries to inform of the knowledge the irrepressible majority.
And now down with hyperboles aside, and in a root about the main thing: the relations of each normal man with the woman it is regulated by men`s hormone testosterone, or “aggression hormone“. Exactly thanks to this men`s hormone the prehistoric person went on a mammoth and continued the sort. Exactly thanks to it, the woman could feel for the man absolutely safe, lean on a strong shoulder, feel the woman. Exactly thanks to it, the man can protect the woman from hooligans, cope with elements, provide to the woman the status. Take away “aggression hormone“ from the man, and you receive one more woman with a thin voice and a zero libido.
Inconsistent requirements of modern society when from the man, on the one hand, the macho is required to be, and with another to suppress the natural man`s reactions in the presence of the woman all the time, look frank and such natural violence over the man`s nature. In the relations of floors the woman costs in much advantageous position, than her elect. It almost should not suppress in itself the natural, given by the nature and cultivated by society qualities: weakness, tenderness, humility. While the man in communication with the woman very often the same society is forbidden to show the man`s reactions: physical force - as if not to cripple, roughness - it is necessary to be gentle all the time, a loud voice - as if not to frighten off, etc. And then, in family quarrels or just at a showdown, the woman about ease resorts to the weapon, emotions and tears, giving vent to the collected negative while the man is most strictly forbidden to quarrel, cause damage to property, to fight. It has to constrain itself(himself) all the time. And even if the woman changes tactics of “conducting fight“ over time, continually, passing from tears to “a file of firewood“ and even to slaps in the face, it is not perceived by the public as violence. On the contrary, such strategy of the shelter of the enemy under pantofel even causes respect. And, at all illusiveness of bigger freedom, it is also impossible for the man much more. It is impossible to be the man. By itself.
And then in the such sincere desire to avoid violence, to live till hundred years and to die in one day, many women little for this purpose do. They also do not do the most important: they do not try to understand the mechanism of work of the one who near them: men. And, on the contrary, having felt in something unhappy, many women push the men to that side where from it the animal will escape sooner or later. By means of daily dissatisfied grumble, abasement, humiliation which in language of psychoanalysts are classified as violence verbal. Sacredly having forgotten that the man is a wild animal who never remains up to the end tamed. And to you it is not necessary to stick into a wild animal with a stick of the not contents and claims. Sooner or later the tiger will turn back and will attack on the offender. Of course, this attempt to understand not only the victim, but also criminal does not justify brutal behavior of the man at all. It is only dry ascertaining without emotional coloring of our subjective opinions.
Thus, “it is happy promuchivshis“ year or ten, nearly sixty percent of men (statistically) “suddenly“ leave from under control, and give slap in the face, beat by hands and legs, kill … And again there is such eternal and banal question: there was a normal man. And gave flowers, and on hands carried. And suddenly … What happened? And it is valid that?