And again about Belarusians of“Whatever to do - to do as it is possible more slowly, and it is better not to do at all“. Belarusian guerrilla proverb.
Of course, I do not judge all. Of course, I am subjective. Of course, in something it is not right. And still: how in the Belarusian remarkably are combined does not cease to surprise me, become the talk of the town, diligence and such podpolno - guerrilla obstinacy, unwillingness to do what from it is required. To understand, the person or so is busy, plays the fool, in principle, enough some time to observe it from outside. And from outside looks approximately so: one works, but slowly, with smoke breaks. With the higher engineering education twists some screw or puts some clamp and it is so diligent and slow as if the spaceship builds which will fly to Mars. And two attentively so watch its work, entertaining him bearded jokes and intimate outpourings about social injustice in the country. Well, there the president will take part in the elections again. The prices of potatoes grew - how further to live? The chief - a goat hornless. And so forth. Very probably on how worked at public industries in Soviet period. And what to hurry? For many as: you will execute, you will underfulfill or you will exceed - all the same you will get paid three peanuts. Neither it is more, nor it is less.
The system of bonuses on the Belarusian public industries is practically absent. And if is available, then works somehow on - Belarusian: award not the best workers, and those whom it is necessary. On honor rolls hang up not those whom it is necessary, and that whose turn approached. Well, very valuable diplomas, besides, give only after a period of service of unlimited number of years (as if on the first or second year of the activity the worker on anything, except wrecking is not capable). Not those who are cleverer “grow“ besides, is more skilled, more conscientious, and those who were put by a hairy paw in fertile fields of mossy Belarusian desks and offices and whose shining back from the production scorching beams is covered by a wide back.
At first this silent Belarusian obstinacy - whatever to do if only to do as it is possible not to do more slowly or at all, by inexperience irritates, enrages. Revolts, so to speak, absence of pain for common cause. Experience, labor altruism. And later, as you will reflect yes you will observe and balls in the head you povorochat a little, such thought occurs to you: to any Belarusian it is unprofitable to work as expect from him. And expect, of course, about - go - go. Because to pay for dedicated work on justice - will hardly pay. And you will lean out in a labor feat, say, here I what clever and hard-working, - will pile on your pack back on full. But you will not fulfill the assigned obligations - as at guerrillas it is accepted, will vseprilyudno shoot. Here therefore work at the Belarusian enterprises “somehow“, at the same time with a cunning squint repeating: “Do not hurry to do serious work, let`s have a complete rest. And when will have a complete rest, be accepted to it carefully: and that still will leave what“.
The chief is always right. And the Belarusian chief - is always right doubly.
Never object the Belarusian chief. Do not argue, do not prove, do not doubt. What he said that he did not do, always agree with everything. Alternate a frequent kivaniye of the head to an accurate abrupt poddakivaniye and feverish gloss of admiration of his mighty mind in your eyes. You can nod and express at first the delight, and then ask “And what for?“, “And why?“, “And who it?“.
For example, my immediate superior practices this “reception of the full moron“ concerning the boss.
- I do not want to go to China one - having curved in an arch a stomach, in the center of attention of workers of masses, the director coquets, staying in fine mood before the forthcoming trip.
- Hee - hi - hi. Yes, - faithfully looking in eyes, his deputy, my direct curls a spinning top around it. And then in all seriousness - And why?
- Yes because to drink there is nobody! - explains to the tugody - the deputy, the frolicing boss, sticking out a stomach further away.
And, my direct is so organic in this role Tabaki`s shakalenka that you will not understand: he pretends to be or not?
If you were brought closer to himself by some high Belarusian chief, remember: first of all from you dog devotion, and mind, professionalism and conscientiousness - in the second is required. But mind has to be exactly so much that with it not to climb forward fathers there where the glory and honor wait. You will be clever until you pretend to be slightly more silly than the chief. Also you will be a complete fool if you dare to show him that actually you it is cleverer than it.
Remember and reel up on both moustaches that all talk and the wall newspapers which are so loved at the Belarusian enterprises about “liberte, egalite, fraternite “ - democratic character, equality and equality between the administration and subordinates - a nonsense. In Belarus, as well as in odious Soviet period, paper does not redden, and at the enterprises secret is feudal - a slaveholding system.
Your director can flaunt in local rags as such favourite of masses, the defender and the guy. In practice, one careless question or the same answer can cost to you a workplace, and no labor union will help you. Labor unions in Belarus as I learned, exist for two things: to collect contributions and in everything to assent to the administration. Many directors and chiefs at the Belarusian enterprises have the same idea of democracy as the Persian satrap of social equality.
What nonsense would not climb up to bear inflamed yesterday`s “ Henessy “ to mind of your boss, you take down everything it is resistant also with expression of universal grief on your anxious face. At first, hearing vast monologues of your chief that in his car someone left a piece of meat and it zavonyalsya, having poisoned with the smell air in salon of its Mercedes - not differently provocation, you will feverishly question: “It is a madhouse?“. At morning meetings, in the presence of everything inzhenerno - technical collective, as the most urgent problems, your chief will tell that yesterday he welcomed delegation guests from the twin-city, and at restaurant served them stale sturgeon, and service was worse than ever. That in Embassy of India women go to a sari and draw on a forehead paint, and it is not particularly what horror. That the director of the plant competing with you the gibbering idiot has also even no decent car. And there is a lot more what.
The Belarusian directors of plants and factories - as Japanese: in total as like as two peas. And all repeat after the Father. At that it is accepted to organize morning planning meetings and to shout at the goofs-off as if to the teacher to lecture the guilty pupils - the same is done also by all other Fathers. At that it is accepted to brag about imaginary achievements in the country - the same is done also by all others.
The other day there was an incident. Almost bleach an incident: bragging at general meeting before all about our progress, our Neron, as always mentioned “the regular growth of salaries“. And one inexperienced worker take and take an interest about an increase in prices: the salary, speaks, grew by five percent, and the prices of fifty. So what, speaks, to go to bat about progress against, so to speak, reality? The question embarrassed the speaker. All confidants of our emperor were shocked. “C’est terrible, terrible “ - are whispered. “Yes as he dared, the fool“ - speak. With the worker then, speak, carried out ideological work. If did not dismiss, then now though that rasshibis - will not promote. Because in disgrace - page
the Belarusian directors - everything, as on selection. Or rather, all as from one curve log vystruganny: heavy, clumsy, loud. Each of them - the princeling of local pouring, the plant, factory, hospital. How terrible with the citizens - so silent and fawning with the chiefs.
They both execute, and pardon. Once you get to a favor to the princeling, all this around right there will be noted, and will become you or to avoid, or, on the contrary, to you will be extremely benevolent.
By the way, a name of your princeling - the key opening all doors where you work. You hour can go to bat, proving to some manager of office belongings to the ensign need of purchase of two handles and three pencils, adducing the most telling arguments and arguments, it seems: and we terminated these handles and pencils. And all for nothing, because handles and pencils are given not when they come to an end and when it is necessary. But once you “A name of the director“, will not be necessary thirteen necessary - prenuzhny signatures and as much the seals. And companion ensign - the manager of an office junk, as if by magic, will take out from the handle cylinder with pencils, and in addition there is a lot more what.
The Belarusian chiefs got used long ago that all their desires are granted, once he says only to move an eyebrow. As their desires are granted - they have no idea, believing that rolls grow on trees. But demand extreme strictness, accuracy and as much pathos.
I happened to witness more than once how my big boss got in prosak, - charging to engineers to invent, and to designers to embody. Gave to marketing specialists a task something to construct, and to builders to find the buyer on what marketing specialists will construct.
They grant to themselves the right to be familiar and even trite. But to themselves demand the maximum respect. And it is even better when you are afraid. You tremble at their presence, fading and being pressed into a wall by all the being at their illustrious emergence. Quite adequate and not shy ten man in the presence of the chief become gibbering idiots and coward hares, the advantage which does not have at all. And that is interesting, it is recognized.
The authorities lie about the Belarusian lies
If in Belarus, all the time what here to speak about simple people? All lie, always and everywhere.
If in Russia or, for example, in Ukraine people openly, from screens of TVs, newspapers and on the street, declare that yes, we live badly, the government steals and grows fat, the people grow poor, the prices grow, even in the corrupted Kazakhstan and opened TV channel on which speak without notes, in the European Belarus, despite everything, as in that Baghdad, “everything is quiet“. Such pogremushechnik go and knock the rattles on the heads to the people: “We live well, we live well, we live well“.
The prices somehow imperceptibly and mercilessly creep up. But about it it is not enough who speaks. And if speaks, then in it it is positive - an optimistical foreshortening: say, in America of wons eighteen percent below the poverty line, unemployment ten percent, and again - the prices grew twice (not any Black from Harlem can to himself an iPod, you see allow - ouch - yay - yay). And we both have no beggars, and unemployment steadily zero whole eight tenth, and the prices for only fifty percent grew.
Again - about growth of salaries blow here and there. Raised by four percent, on five. And that on which breed such growth if those prices any more nearly twice grew - me unclear. As my acquaintance, this growth - in practice tells, running on the spot. Yes not on the place, I would tell, and run with continuous lag.
Continually tell us about “steadily growing average salary over the country“. And tsifery juggle: one milyyon hundred with something there thousands (about three hundred sixty dollars). The figure is ridiculous, amusing. So ridiculously - even there is a wish to cry. Because bring her, approximately, as in kind Soviet period when on paper life of the Soviet person was as cheese in oil - you eat black caviar with a spoon - I do not want: take, for example, me and my neighbor. I - without work, the neighbor - the head of department of some shady business establishment with a salary in two million two hundred Belarusian hares. Also bring an arithmetic average of two to us: one million hundred thousand. That is, an average salary at me and my neighbor such. And it is unimportant that I receive the third month a hole from a bagel. All the same - one million hundred thousand.
Or as at us at the enterprise, took five hundred workers with a salary eight hundred thousand and our bossy elite with a salary - all that fifty souls - with a salary one and a half million, also received average figure where that in one million two hundred thousand. Also tynut this grandeur on any skhodnyaka. And idle time listens to the people and is perplexed: at me both the category, and a period of service is lower than average, both at Vaska, and at Dunka, and at Nikolay Nikolaich, and at him. And at whom then average that, and, friends? At least average?
Here and I have all acquaintances some gol perekatny. It seems intelligent people, workers of brainwork, sit in front of the computers also wearing spectacles go, and is lower and lower than an average. And where I will not be stuck, I do not posproshat, and all salaries some nikazistenky, below a middling.
Or to take, for example, such production lies. Zavodsko - factory. Such silent, with honest - prechestny Belarusian eyes, with almost belief that you tell, almost white, almost not lie. At exhibitions, exchanges of experience and all business meetings where spit, success, growth and profit everywhere. Everywhere something is concluded, somewhere there grow, develop.
I communicate with one companion with whom got acquainted before a trip on an exhibition to far - the predaleky country where to fly - to spend not kopek.
- Here and you go, go on everyones friendly to us Burkina there - to Faso and Coast of the Elephant bone. And sense that is? It is a lot of contracts of a ponazaklyuchala?
- Oh, yes. We participate in all exhibitions and already concluded a number of favorable contracts which will provide us high profit. Here and this time we … - I to an eructation hear a familiar pop-music, and two worms involuntarily begin to gnaw me: worm of mistrust and worm of doubt. Doubts in, in us. Say, here they che - that concluded there, che - that adjusted, and we go - we go - and neither haricot, nor tusks.
I involuntarily like - my fellow traveler so harmoniously lies, and I will bring in some more questions:
- And as how many you export to this Zimbabva whether accept they our state standard specifications, and in general as adjusted that, share experience, and?
The man smoothly lies five more minutes something about powerful marketing service, about high quality specialists and what he they abrupt, and stops short then and issues the key phrase after which he drops himself in my opinion so low and painfully that I even screw up the face and I cannot:
- And then us there, here we from above obliged to go and …
E, a frayerok, everything with you is clear. Any you are not an eagle, and so the small button from retuz which having come off pants thought that it is able to fly. You - are not better than us at all. Spend a lot of currency, you oblazit all local ruins of some suburb of the Roman Empire, be rinsed in their waters, you will suffer a diarrhea from their African zhrachka, and we will be dragged in to scribble back home enthusiastically so reports, full hopes and lies.
But again there will be presentations, banquets and business meetings. And again each of tostuyushchy will get up and, faltering to tell about the unknown progress, about breaks, about growth, about unknown profit. And only I will sit aside, and, having bent the head, to think of how all - there is no wish to lie. And there is a wish to say the truth, the fact that you think. What you see and that you feel. From it it becomes so quiet on heart, and there is a hope that it is not still bad.