Bonus or How not to be a banner trapped? Yesterday our director declaredthat he invited to us “treningist“ as it was expressed. For our training and our benefit. “Treningisty“ he as I understand, called the one who arrived to us for carrying out training as now it is fashionable to speak. However, it is clumsy - the non-russian word twenty is not new years. As well as any “resellers“, “bonuses“ and “banners“ which it is also clumsy, but were very strongly included into our business life.
our head adores all new. Especially any inostranizm. “Traders“ and “brokers“ caress to it hearing as the lover nightingale singing in July night. One problem - he understands a little that he speaks.
Once he calls me in the spacious, cooled with the conditioned air bossy chambers and from a threshold by a terrible voice, as well as it befits the big chief, orders: “I go to the capital tomorrow and I think to visit there one very interesting exhibition. You to me to the road, Egorka, put your bonus. And that without it at an exhibition is not possible for me in any way“.
I, as well as it is accepted at all preemptive subordinates, at first zealously I nod, and then I begin to think quickly that meant their Rukovoditelstvo. In time to nod and show very clearly the business vigor which is in full swing from all your time, eyes, hands, legs and all trunk - is worth a lot. I studied it not one year. Thoughtfulness and slow judiciousness - on the contrary, at the administration are not appreciated and accepted to tugodumy.
Over deep as an anti-submarine mine, the phrase “To put a bonus“ I puzzle, rubbing a hand a shaven chin, and I cannot imagine this picture in any way. In - the first, bonuses to us are not paid. Awards - yes, two times a year happen. But even if their Imperiousness also meant an award that in translation from non-russian on Russian “bonus“ and means, then “to put“ it to the boss, at all the huge love and tenderness to it, I cannot, because of non receipt of this award already not less than half a year.
Pomuchivshis minutes twenty, I, at last, decide to take an interest at their Knowledge that they had on the grandiose mind when dropped this a combination incongruous in Russian. Having asked how it is necessary, an audience in a reception and, at first having reverentially pushed the head, then having shy uttered indistinctly “Resolve?“ and having got into the Inner sanctum, I the stammering voice dare to proshamkat:
- Dear Ivan Ivanych, I about a bonus, wanted to take an interest. To you to turn or to put so? - I begin from far away to distract it from the State Dumas about the benefit of mankind and to prepare, so to speak, for the most unexpected.
- And? What? Who is it? - my boss comes off an after-dinner dream. - It is necessary to Che? - it a hand wipes the stream of after-dinner saliva which is flowing down on a chin below on expensive cream jacket.
- I about a bonus. To me to turn or to put so? Perhaps what wishes will be? - I grow stout in the most stupid smile and I almost squat in a deep curtsey. I noticed long ago, the administration does not love clever, thoughtful faces. It loves faces more simply. That when throw into such face “the Fool! Idiot! Moron!“, a remorse did not torment.
- What wishes? You put it in the case and to me on a back seat throw. Yes put the fact that having painted, it is more.
- Well, Ivan Ivanych. As you will tell, - I murmur and, seeing that their Rukovoditelstvo fails in after-dinner thoughts about general happiness of mankind again, diligent I hurry for a door.
Having appeared behind a door, I understand that I so understood nothing, and having understood that I understood nothing, I understand that I in essence, so asked nothing.
Having roamed about half an hour and having waited when by my experience, dear Ivan Ivanych have to recover from after-dinner thoughts about the benefit of all people, I ask on reception again and, having appeared once again before eyes their Rukovoditelstva and seeing misunderstanding and to them the caused displeasure spilled on his rumpled person, I mumble as it is possible pridurkovaty. That it was more pleasant to Ivan Ivanychu:
- I, … wanted to learn it, dear Ivan Ivanych … - I shift from one foot to the other and I look into dissatisfied face of their Imperiousness as if from below up, pozaiskivayushchy.
- You che? Che came again, and? - in a voice obvious displeasure is heard though, judging by widely open bulging eyes, the after-dinner dream already ended.
- I... it, Dear Ian Ivanych, about a bonus, - is guilty I smile.
- Bonus? What bonus?
- Well which you with yourself on an exhibition take.
- Ah yes, bonus. A bonus, a bonus, a bonus, - their Rukovoditelstvo obviously tries to remember value of an inostranizm.
- I wanted here that … the bonus is impossible for you on a back seat in any way, and on an exhibition, - I blurt out in a volley and I feel a great relief as if a weight off the shoulders and a stone from heart.
- Why it? - Ivan Ivanych growls.
- Well because we do not receive bonuses. And if you meant an award, then it quite another matter, - I hurry to sugar the pill, - … though we too already half a year did not get an award.
- What, to devils dog, an award! You che, sduret!? - and I already represent how I write the application at own will as I am followed to the grave as …
- the Bonus, Ivan Ivanych. You … - I close eyes, and here dawns on me that their Majesty Ivan Ivanych of XV, meant not “bonus“, and … “banner“. Exhibition such poster on a support. I just in the exhibition purposes ordered two such banners recently. Went to Ivan Ivanychu, showed, asked his opinion. Well, he also remembered the word. And now, to the place and out of place, inserted it here and there. And there was such funny thing, and mixed a banner with a bonus. Well, to whom does not happen. A bonus - a banner, a banner - a bonus. Words - that not our, bourgeois.
- You here that, Daredevils, do not philosophize. Bonus, banner. One horse-radish! Zadurili here head! Take this crap exhibition and throw to me on a back seat.
So at once, in Russian, also told. Also there would be no misunderstanding. Russian - great and mighty. Language of the international communication. It to you not English with the bonuses and banners!