The complaint bookI Inquire at the seller in the roadside bar where I drop in from time to time:
- You have a Complaint book?
the Shop assistant, the young-looking woman of years of forty at first reddens, then turns pale, then, in a feminine way having indignantly stared from orbits as if I told something obscene, at last, hardly squeezes out from itself:
- And why to you?
- Just I am interested. Or perhaps I want to make the proposal, you never know.
Without hesitation, the seller blurts out:
- And at your enterprise there is such book?
- At us their three - I answer, smiling to that, masterly this young woman transferred conversation from herself on me.
- And why there is a lot of? - with children`s innocence, coquettishly clapping eyes, she almost sincerely is interested.
- Because we have a big enterprise. So you will allow me to look at your Book? - I tear off a chain of her questions.
- And we have a Complaint book on Gogol Street, 96.
- But it on other end of the city! How to understand, offers or complaints of your clients concern to you and your bar, and your book is for ten kilometers from here? What, order everyone wished to complain of you or to thank you to saw for ten versts? Where logic?
- We have a head office there - madam shop assistant answers, playfully rotating eyes - and why you it all the time carp at us?
Here “I had such here conversation quite recently“ as the Odessa Jews speak. Whether practically everyone day I ask a senseless question “And all as it should be at me with the head because the fact that for the majority - norm, for me - nonsense“. And actually, some whom I tried to inform of absurdity of a situation, did not understand, “about what it it“. THEY are SURE THAT IT is NORMAL.
Other similar case occurred recently at the enterprise where I serve the terrestrial sentence. To us there arrived the auditor - the auditor, and everything as horses in soap, clinking heels - hooves, jumped and scurried about on offices and corridors to and fro, from top to down, from right to left. Grozny checking as well as I in the previous narration, wished to contemplate the Complaint book. This book, with swiftness enviable, fast delivered to it … To deliver that, the Book brought also not that. Not that because in this Book was … is not present, not a venomous snake, not a dead mouse and not a goggle-eyed toad. And only tiny complaint. The secretary who is responsible for the Book - it is similar, the head, so she worried - nearly fainted tender feelings, having learned that this strict auditor had honor to look at all this shame. After the severe auditor as if the punishing Nemesis, under sounds loud fanfares - our brisk voices, with a dissatisfied face was removed to find out other our sins and crimes, she, the secretary, attacked on us with hysterical reproaches that nobody warned her for whom this factory bible was necessary.
- That you so worry - I say to the excited secretary who is nervously sucking two tablets of validol and holding both hands heart, - well, you will think, the complaint. For this purpose this knizhention also exists that people could leave the remarks and wishes - it, eventually, and “Complaint book“, &ndash is called; and we, in turn, could think and correct those shortcomings which at us take place. What here such unusual?
On what the semi-insensible keeper of this Closed book, nenavidyashche rotates on me mad eyes and is hardly heard mumbles: “To me will get now“.
Here so. Both laughter, and sin. Such books are at each “Venezuelan“ enterprise, in each shop and a trade stall as once it was in nicely - disgraceful Soviet period. Also there are they AS - (the remarkable mot displaying our mentality during this transition period) for improvement of service of the consumer AS - for elimination of shortcomings, well, and any more NOT AS - for record of thanks he is grateful the thanking consumers. AS - for all of us. Only, in - the first to find this Book happens not always simply - I was more than once convinced that it, this Scripture, can be stored anywhere, but is rare where has to be. And in - the second if you personally do not harbor malice against the keeper of this Faraonovy Cuneiform writing, it is better about it and do not stammer. Or if to you nevertheless so itching to, leave behind only thanks to those who force you to stand in queues, sell you unusable goods and sincerely are rude to you. In any case, you will not become the indirect reason of heart attacks, strokes and nervous breakdowns at those who serve you.
Sincerely yours Misanthrope.