Sex after the delivery: how to return an inclination. Councils of the sexologist
After the child`s birth the love remained, and interest in sex was gone. The doctor speaks - fatigue, the husband reproaches - frigidity. What really happens and how to return former proximity, the sexologist will tell.
according to the British researchers, the orgasm is conceived by the nature as means of evolution. He lets the woman know whether her partner a good getter and the loving father will be. So ability to reach an orgasm is put at the gene level. Its absence - not an illness demanding treatment, but the most ancient method of natural selection of partners.
Frigidity, or sexual coldness, unwillingness of intimate proximity from the woman, happens different. True, constitutional - congenital insufficiency of psychosexual function. In this case we deal with a certain violation. But it meets extremely seldom. Temporary coldness is connected with some lateness of sexual desire and can quite be protective reaction of an organism.
- in the first year of marriage - 63% of women
- from 1 year to 5 years − 71%
- from 5 to 10 years of joint life - 77%
- from 10 to 15 years - 80%
Frustration arises from - for physiological and the psychological reasons. Sexologists in most cases deal with it. It is rather simple to distinguish imaginary frigidity from true. If earlier the woman was satisfied with the intimate life, derived pleasure from sex, and then suddenly everything changed - means, frigidity imaginary. Also it is necessary to look for a root of its emergence. It in power only to the expert.
In the first months young mother constantly feels fatigue, irritation, alarm, can be dissatisfied with the husband, herself, the body. All this influences intimate life - there is a chill, alienation, and then and full rejection of the partner. Signs of psychogenic frigidity are that.
But sexuality - complex concept. After sexual desire decreases, other links of a chain begin to collapse. There is no desire of proximity - excitement is reduced - there is no sufficient moistening of a vagina. Sex causes unpleasant feelings, and they in turn reduce an inclination. Vicious circle.
At some women imaginary temporary frigidity drags on. If not to pay attention to it, it by all means will affect a physiological and mental state. Over the years relevance of intimate relations which before childbirth could occupy an important part of the life will decrease. Some women reconcile to it and in general stop sexual life. On this background diseases - from myoma to mastopathy and a neurasthenia can be shown. Without saying that marriage happy before turns into sad cohabitation or at all breaks up.the Help at frigidity
Similar frustration is engaged in
the sexologist. Than quicker the woman or both spouses will ask for the help, it is better for those. Sometimes the issue is resolved at one time at the sexologist where partners will receive detailed recommendations. Some women sometimes easily “recover“, having just met the skilled man in love affairs. Means, husbands need not to be afraid to be active, to offer the spouse experiments, games, new situations.
At the modern women having the husband and the child, such deviation meets seldom. Now nobody is violently married and to make love do not force. But even in cases with congenital coldness it is possible to create a sexual inclination. Sometimes for this purpose hormonal preparations are required. Though in most cases it is enough to involve only psychological mechanisms. Here it is important “to bring up“ the partner. The man has to learn to endow darling with tenderness. So in the course of therapy it is possible “to warm“ even the coldest snow queens.
you Descend to the sexologist. The doctor will not advise anything impracticable, ultraboundary. Sometimes happens to reconsider loading enough. For example, to agree to rise to the child at night in turn. Then partners will be equally tired - at the wife will appear more than forces on intimate relations, and at the man sexual energy slightly will decrease. To some fathers recommend to attend special seminars where they are told what is felt by women after the delivery - physically and psychologically. For the majority - it is a bolt from the blue. Here such easy ways it is possible to overcome cooling in the relations.
Expert: Evgeny Kulgavchuk, sexologist, psychotherapist