Pregnancy, childbirth and maternity leave - test for firmness of
to Take out and grow up the child - a responsible task - and not only in our country. And what mothers of the Englishwoman? How they cope with daily cares? How get ready for childbirth where give birth on what child care allowances can count where look for nurses and when residents of the English capital come to work? The story of the shaken Frenchwoman, the author of the book “Tiptoes in London“.
of Mummy! Hardy and full of strength
the London Mummy - toughcookie, a tough nut. She understood that motherhood - business serious, especially that day when she had to leave the student`s room, a nest of lovers in the center of London to move, like all families, to areas, more green and favorable for children, but remote from the center. Farewell, city bus, hi, local train.
Already during pregnancy reached it that everything will be difficult. Having the minimum health insurance, she learned to care for herself from the first attacks of nausea. Childbirth is a little similar to the fairy tale here. If only you are not fantastically rich.
Strangely enough, for some little girls of 13 - 14 years experiencing difficulties, the prospect of motherhood can be a saving exit and even in some way career, thanks to special grants to mothers - teenagers. These grants directed to fight against constantly growing level of teenage pregnancy according to many, created a vicious circle, having generated quite disputable image of mother - the recipient of welfare payment which often appears mother - the teenager and single mother.
our Mummy does not receive any benefits as it is not a teenager and is unreliable lonely. It often should leave career to take care of children before their receipt in school at the age of four years... or to employ the nurse. In London there are no intermediate decisions. But nevertheless for Mummy some advantages (yes) of residence in this megalopolis are had. Fortunately for it, formal gardens and gardens provide to children enough greens and salutary oxygen in comparison with other western capitals.
From now on she watches female fashion from far away, and behind the nursery - carefully, desperately battling on sales of Mothercare and Topshop to buy a cardigan “Winnie - Down“ twice cheaper. Even having become Mummy, it did not lose the reflexes of a lioness of shopping and the destructor of a credit card.
On hills Crouch - And or on footpaths of Wimbledon she traps in local library the last receipts of books for children with whom England is so rich, and remembers that Dzh. K. Rowling who became as some think, is richer than Queen Elizabeth II thanks to her profitable Harry Potter, once too was single mother, attentive and full ideas.Quarters which she chose as the housing - from Richmond to Luishem and from Croydon to Crouch - Enda - are similar
to it, Mummy: quiet, warm, silent, but with the heart raging life and energy.
, London, hi, the suburb
to replace delight from news “Darling, I am pregnant!“ right there the alarm concerning the forthcoming moving comes. Our future Mummy has nine months on saying goodbye to the apartment of the youth in the center of London costing her in the fabulous price, but which she nevertheless loved even if she had no right to hang out on walls the pictures from - for all-powerful and is petty - meticulous owners...
Alas! If she is not the happy owner of the Victorian housing from more than three rooms, she should move, but with her average salary £ 2500 a month (she fondly believed that it not so is not enough) resettlement in green, comfortable, family, but, unfortunately, quarters, remote from the center, is guaranteed to it: Patni, Crouch - And, Ealing, Fulham, Wimbledon, Klapkhem, Croydon, Luish and even Richmond if she wins in a lottery. Certainly, it can calm itself what still lives in London, at least theoretically, but she perfectly understands that everything from now on will be in a different way. These peripheral quarters represent the ghettoes which are buried in verdure for families rather provided, but there are not enough rich to remain to live in the center of the capital.
How to find Londoners with children? On their index. If you got acquainted with the handsome guy who was pleasant to you, and he says that he lives in SW4 (Klepkhem), SW6 (Fulham), N8 (Crouch - And), SW19 (Wimbledon), SW15 (Patni), SE13 (Luish), know that the companion for certain family...
our Mummy will be able to get at last a small garden around the small house, from - for whom it should get into debt for 50 years. Actually she perfectly understands that she deceives herself: to become mother in London most often means to become the inhabitant of the suburb. In France it was to the byena from rage; in London she says to herself that everything will be all right, dear! It “s for the best! (Everything will be good, expensive! There`s no evil without good!). To keep optimism in adversities - in it it is all.Stoical English mummy
that the London Mummy - the stoical woman. Do not care for it, do not cherish and do not observe how her French sister.
Pregnant women often become wonders for the employers.
- I worked as the film editor at one studio in Soho, - Ella, mother of two little girls of two and four years tells. - When in 28 years I became pregnant, all were struck. In this environment people are very ambitious, it is necessary to prove constantly that you are infinitely devoted to work and is ready to give it itself entirely. And I was a junior film editor in the beginning of the career therefore many apprehended news as professional suicide, considering that in this profession men dominate, and to women to promote much more difficult. My management first not bad belonged to this news, but it had to break the head over registration of my decree as I was the first pregnant woman in the office existing not one decade!
In England the working women have the right for 80 percent of the salary during one - two months of a maternity leave then 50 percent are paid one more month. And all. They can take in addition unpaid month of holiday also.
- In my contract it was specified that I have the right for a maternity leave, BUT I will have to compensate everything if I decide to leave upon termination of holiday or if I become pregnant within the next year. I returned to work in four months after the delivery, but adaptation cost to me big works as I was not free for hundred percent any more, and the nurse cost very much to me. I felt that I am not part of team any more that they hold me aside, staking on other film editors. In eight months I left and began to work as the film editor - the freelancer.
during pregnancy the London Mummy learns to pretend that nothing occurs. And to wait until “it“ passes.
- Here we have the right for only two ekhografiya (ultrasonography) on the third and sixth month [in comparison with three, paid with the French social security]. The therapist sends the patient to hospital where she is observed. At each visit only the analysis of urine, but not blood undertakes. If everything proceeds normally, without complications, it is enough. In case of complications begins another story altogether...
Not really consolatory. But actually our London Mummy tries not to think of it and, meeting every morning by toxicosis, repeats a favourite national keynote: “Everything will be good!“
- Should learn to count only on himself and not to wait that someone about vaspozabotitsya and will present on a silver platter. If you have a consciousness of the kept woman, you were gone, - Ella comments, clenching teeth.
Rich Mummy prefers to be observed and give birth in private clinic, by an example of the favourite celebrities: The Portland Hospital, The Hospital of St. John & St. Elizabeth (Kate Moss gave birth here) are two exclusive addresses where it is possible to be observed and give birth, living in clover. The cost of supervision and childbirth in The Portland Hospital fluctuates between 9000 and 20 000 euros. If you want to save and only to give rise in The Hospital of St. John & St. Elizabeth, it will cost you 2000 euros in the first 24 hours of patrimonial activity (including the child`s birth), then count on 1200 euros for each day of stay in hospital. Supervision of pregnancy by the midwife (but not the gynecologist) costs 2000 euros, but this sum does not include ultrasonography and analyses of urine and blood.
For comparison: in France the patient feeling care of herself goes to reception to the gynecologist or the midwife every month. It is carefully examined and surveyed. Very much - very carefully. A vaginal palpation - the term unfamiliar in Great Britain, except for, of course, cases of direct threat. In France each stage in details speaks a way to childbirth, each visit is fixed. Watch your state. This protective cocoon is not in England: business is business.
When there comes day “X“, London Mummy not to jokes at all. England gives birth the conveyor, it is policy of stop and go.
- I gave birth on Tuesday morning and in midday of the next day was already forced to leave hospital. Home absolutely broken came. But we have no choice, so everything is arranged. Therefore it is necessary to be reconciled.When I say
to it that in France young mother can remain in hospital about five days, recover and study bases of chest feeding together with midwifes and patronage nurses, Ella with involuntary bitterness exclaims:
Here the devil is!
Within the first year young mother has the right for one - two formal visits to the pediatrician, and all this.
- In most cases when the child is ill, doctors speak to me:“ Give it paracetamol, and everything will pass“, - Ella claims.
Is what to stun the French doctors with their long recipes.
British almost never write out antibiotics, they prefer that the nature helped the child most to struggle with an infection. It seems to me reasonable. On the other hand, any suppositories. They here just do not exist. It is considered absolutely shocking!
Suppositories is the real collision of cultures. Try to explain to British, even with the most progressive that it is possible to treat quinsy by means of “a candle in a bottom“.
In urgent cases cannot call the doctor.
- We can call only our Health Visitor (the midwife / to the patronage sister) appointed by Council for ensuring medical supervision over our child to school age. In the worst cases it is always possible to address the paid pediatrician in Cromwell`s hospital for 150 euros for visit.
Someone will tell that similar tests temper character of the nation. About pleasure from life here the speech does not go...Gipnoroda`s
- hypnobirthingthe Thirty-three-year-old Eleonora who is on the seventh month of pregnancy is convinced by
that childbirth will become for it a nightmare. Every night dreams it that she dies. All her talk only on it. Its satellite Bena should take measures, otherwise medical care is required to him. He looks for the miracle decision everywhere, reads booklets and magazines, consults at doctors and midwifes, rummages in the Internet in search of a method which will rescue his beloved.One of friends tells
to it about gipnoroda. The fat is in the fire. Ben signs up for two-week courses on the eighth month of pregnancy. Eleonora has no choice. Anyway, it all the same: it already made the will and distributed letters to all family members. She perfectly knows that she needed to live only several weeks.
That such of a gipnoroda ? It is the childbirth which is carried out under hypnosis. Rationalists like us right there would suspect large-scale deception of the desperate young couples.
- You that, it worked on all hundred! - Eleonora with Ben in several days after them “collective childbirth“ tell.Gipnoroda`s
turned into new mania of thirty-year-old residents of London. The famous persons of the country, such as Beverley Turner became supporters of this method. This young beautiful brunette, the spouse of the Olympic champion in rowing, comments on “Tour de France“ and hotly protects gipnoroda.
At the same time the name misleads a little as within two weeks our future young parents are not exposed to hypnosis at all and are not entered into a condition of a trance, and simply master bases of a relaxation and joint preparation for childbirth. The main idea consists in that at the first fights as long as possible to stay at home, and future father has to take everything in hand to relieve future mother of any alarms. And here it turns into the chief of the station with a stop watch in a hand to measure duration and frequency of fights, and in the story-teller of jokes which will help it to support mummy in a condition of easy euphoria.
In fact, gipnoroda are in convincing mother completely to trust in the partner, and the father - to undertake the management of process. It would be necessary to call it “support of the father for sorts“.
- the First fights at Eleonora began at seven o`clock in the morning. I managed to entertain her till eighteen o`clock. I took away it to have dinner, then we went to cinema to the old movie of brothers Marx, with my stop watch on the right thumb. At six o`clock in the evening we went to hospital where I to it right there put on earphones with pleasant music that she did not hear shrill shouts of other women. In patrimonial chamber I continued to make laugh it, massing a lower back as I was taught on courses. Anesthesia was not even necessary for Eleonora. I so it made laugh that she produced endorphins! When time to make an effort came, it took half an hour, and Guy was born. As a result Eleonora managed to remain quiet and weakened. It could concentrate on the main thing, without having spent force on trifles, and at the key moment to give rise kingly, - Ben incredibly proud of tells.
So the father becomes the sports trainer, and mother - the Olympic champion.
Life after the delivery
to what degree our Mummy stoically transfers difficulties. Now she should become a philosopher. On its place the Frenchwoman would jump out a window long ago. The first four years of life of the child - the most difficult for his mother.
- If you want to return for work, there are four options of supervision for the child: a day nursery where empty seats almost do not happen and they cost 60 euros a day; the nurse recommended mu - nitsipalitety, worth from 45 to 75 euros in day, depending on a quarter; the private nurse working for 12 euros an hour; and at last, the girl - the foreigner who needs to be lodged at herself, to feed and pay 120 euros a week. The last - the best option, the cheapest, but for this purpose it is necessary to have the free room, - Noemi, two-year-old Zac`s mother who left career explains to be engaged in the son. Money in a family is earned by the father.
Being journey in France, Noemi was enraptured with preschool system in one town of the Pyrenees:
- I left Zac in kindergarten, and to me it cost twice cheaper, than in London, besides system more flexible: you pay only for days of visit whereas in London I have to pay a day nursery, even when Zac is ill or when we are going on vacation.Elementary school
Receipt in elementary school can turn back
“If you decided to lodge in London with small children before beginning to look for housing, it is necessary to inquire about quality of local elementary schools and their belonging to this or that religion“, - advises Noemi.
Actually many London mummies who are not earning big money in City prefer to give up work and to take care of the children before their receipt in school at the age of four years. Since three years the child can visit a day nursery for half a day, but in this case you cannot choose, and your kid will go to the nearest establishment at the corner of the street, it is not discussed. But in this rough world nevertheless there are good parties:
- the English education insists on independence and identity of children, the sense of responsibility early develops in them very much, - Noemi considers. - It also develops respect for various cultures. Each large religious holiday - Ramadan, Yomkipur, Christmas, the Chinese New year - is celebrated by all class. Sometimes it seems to me that it even search, something like United Colours of Benetton, but eventually is better so, than on the contrary.Nevertheless our Mummy does not become more free than
at all when her child reaches long-awaited four-year age.
- They are in school only from nine in the morning till three in the afternoon. Sometimes some schools offer occupations to a half of the fifth, but at the same time it is necessary to fork up for 20 euros a day on the child. It is heavy, - Noemi says.
In rich quarters most of children have personal tutors who help them to do homeworks before return of parents. It is called equality of chances in English...
From the book “Tiptoes in London“