Teenager and parents: how to keep the relations. Hurry to communicate! Whether
It is possible to improve the relations with the child when he entered teenage age? How to do a way from the computer to real hobbies? What affairs to unite parents and children?
to Bring up the child - business difficult: the birth it does not mean that all by itself, automatically, will develop in his education. For example, in our country the generation of the people who were born at the beginning of 90 - x years, generally grew like cardboard. I mean those whom now years on twenty - twenty five and it is a high time for whom to establish families and to give birth to children. Unfortunately, many of them do not understand why it is necessary. On the example of families of parents they did not understand in what family value.
Why it occurred? Because parents brought up them very little - that was time when parents had sometimes no physical capacity to take care of children: all worked, and even at several works, there were many single mothers, for this time, statistically, the peak of stains and suicides had.many abandoned
In that big tragedy of loss of the state which though somehow protected the person, gave some purpose in life and stability the children at TVs with entertainment programs, TV channels “2 × 2“ - also ran to earn money, to survive. They, of course, can be understood, justified, but without communication at these children contact with parents was lost, as a result the best was not enclosed in them, most important.
In a modern family, at first sight, a situation more safe, but look narrowly: the family leads some separate life. What do we see in families, sometimes even having many children? People live in them the interests: the wife - girlfriends, acquaintances, mother, the husband - most often the computer and the TV, children - the same computer, the Internet, friends, friends. Even precious time of holiday and days off which could be taken away on communication in a modern family is tried to be spent separately.by
as a result lose already weak contact with the child - the community is born only in communication. Not to lose family relations, it is always necessary to remember: as soon as we entered family life, we cannot perceive ourselves separately from our family, from people close to us any more. Their pleasures and a problem, interests - the general with us.
Most of modern parents, unfortunately, consider that their main care is an earning money, they forget that the paramount care of children is a care not about material prosperity, and about a community with the child!
To priests often come with a problem of teenage age: the child is rude, does not obey, sits at the computer, leaves to friends. It is clear, that it is only an iceberg top that failure happened much earlier: in the childhood important points of building relations with it were lost. Teenage problems are, as a rule, connected with the fact that in the early childhood some important points of education were missed.
parents is faced by a double task: on the one hand, they are teachers, and have to create the correct examples of behavior of the child, cultivate his taste, musical and art, give the necessary books, teach necessary skills, try to enclose in it the most necessary that he managed to enter adulthood normally.
their Second function - to exist for the child the best friends, such to which he trusts on whom he can rely which know it do not reject and do not sweep aside his interests! At the same time, of course, it is important to observe subordination - to be the senior and authoritative companions and not to indulge the child in everything.
By the way, about bans. Very important not only to explain and forbid something, but to offer something in exchange. For example, a scourge of our time - hobby of teenagers for computers. One mother, having noticed that the son for days on end stays at “computer“, sounded the alarm. But she not just put communication with the computer in a strict framework. She bought the child a guitar, gave him to learn to play on it, and also asked the familiar designer to be engaged with the son of times a week on the computer in three-dimensional graphics, that is to teach it to work, but not to play by car. As a result the son occupied
Often the child goes to the virtual world because of absence of normal, real hobbies. And we should send children to the necessary course. Circles, sports sections, fishing, tourism, just trips to the country - all this can distract children from unnecessary addictions.
Of course, the best when they are engaged in all this together with us. For example, we with children at the dacha often build something, we ride bicycles, we go to the wood, they also very much like to prepare. Mother in the childhood taught me to sew, the father - something to do by hands, the uncle - to drive the car. And now it is interesting to me to communicate with parents just because they since the childhood set for me the tone. Parents always unostentatiously went ahead of us also showed what to read, listen, look, than to be fond. Now I try to give all this already to the children. And in general education of children - huge incentive for our own spiritual, moral and intellectual development, Bringing up children, ourselves constantly study something to go ahead of them on two steps. It is possible to learn and bring up only a personal example.
Very often children run from parents from - for hyper guardianship. If we are on friendly terms with someone, then we assume that we have internal freedom and that another is a personality who should be respected. The child is the relation will carry by through all the life, whatever troubles with it, difficulties and even falling occurred in life.the Teenage age is difficult for
not so much for parents how many for the child: it actively grows therefore sometimes badly feels; in its organism there is a hormonal reorganization. Sometimes he does not understand what happens to it, becomes vulnerable, vulnerable, it often has differences of mood, etc. All our sharp words:“ I hate “, “ I do not love “, “ you can leave“ - can painfully wound the child and even to bring to suicide. At this age of people does not appreciate life yet, has no fear. The teenager does not understand yet how it is correct to mature, and does it through inadequate acts and a protivleniye adult. He wants independence, but he does not know yet how to realize it.
Abusing the teenager, doing it remarks, we incite it against ourselves only even more. It needs not morals now, and sympathy and understanding. It is only necessary to exercise parental authority and the power at this age when the soul or health of the child are threatened by real danger.Should understand
that children are given us for a while and not to save on communication. We should not miss the moment: before receipt in school we see them for days on end, then more and more seldom, and then they enter independent life. And already other people render on them very strong and not always beneficial effect. If you are not interested in the child`s life when you to him years ten, do not know with whom he is on friendly terms, then when he to it is executed fifteen, you have nothing with it will speak. And years in twenty he in general will not communicate with you unless on holidays! You hurry to communicate.