Rus Articles Journal

First appointment: sex or relations? What cannot be done in a bed of

the Beginning

Authors of the book of “Rule“ (The Rules) of Ellen Feyn and Sherry Schneider made revolution in America when demanded from women to forget once and for all about an initiative in the relations with men. Today they discuss the most burning questions: how to behave on the first appointment and when to pass to sex - and explain 2 important rules.

Rule № 1


On the first appointment - only an easy kiss


It is absolutely clear that men on the very first appointment want to receive everything and at once. Your task - to brake these aspirations. He can kiss you on the first appointment - but no more! Remember that the kiss will force it not to perceive you only as physical object. If the relations in the spirit of “Rules“ develop, the man will fall in love with your soul, with your essence, and not just with your body. The there are less physical contacts, the better. Besides, in a similar situation it is much easier to stop if the events to you not to liking.

We know that it not easiest “Rule“, especially if the man really is pleasant to you if you rush in his sports car and he kisses you on each traffic light. He perfectly kisses, and you terribly want to learn what else it does well. And at this moment you have to press brakes and tell yourself: “Rules“ do not allow on the first appointment of nothing, except an easy kiss! I should not invite him to myself! And let does not let loose a hands!“

If you are too excited by

, then finish appointment as soon as possible not to make what then you will regret about. If the man wants more, then let will call and will invite you to the second appointment.

you can seem

Near some men to yourself the old-fashioned hypocrite. Someone can laugh at you or become angry. Politely and lovely let the man know that if your behavior is not pleasant to him, then it is its problem! If the man presses on you, then it is better not to meet him. Tell yourself that other women could spoil your friend, agreeing to sex on the first appointment, but you are a girl of “Rules“ and live at own discretion. If the man is really in love with you, he will respect your borders. If he is a gentleman, then will allow the physical relations to develop at speed, convenient for you, and will never begin to force to anything you. Forget all theories of “free love“ which came to us from 1960 - x. In unwanted pregnancy or an illness is present nothing spontaneous or amusing.

If the man really fallen in love by
you, he will respect your borders and to develop the relations at speed, convenient for you.

Besides, if you conform to “Rules“, then the situation will never leave from - under control. As you already know, you should talk politics, real estate, good movies - but there are also taboo subjects. Do not mention marriage, children, love, the former friends and girlfriends and sexual positions. Conversation has to be warm, but not juicy, and then after a dessert sex does not threaten you. And in general, if the man really is pleasant to you, the kiss will be pleasant!

Rule № 2

you do not hurry to pass

to sex and other rules of proximity

When to pass to sex?“ Rules“ depend on your age and personal feelings. If to you 18 and you are a virgin, wait for a betrothal. If to you 39, then you can wait month - another. Of course, if you are the convinced opponent of sex out of marriage, can wait also to a wedding. The loving man will be respectful to any your decision.

But be not surprised to

if the man whom you meet becomes angry on a kiss in a lobby and farewell after the second appointment. Men often count that you invite them to a tea cup. Men are spoiled by other women - those who agree to sex on the first or second appointment. Your behavior deprives of it a “deserved“ award. Do not worry. The anger is a sign of interest. You are surprised, but he will surely call back to you again!

if to you is pleasant to have

A sex too, and refusal is also heavy for you, as well as for it? Whether it means that it is necessary to agree to sex on the first or second appointment? Alas, no, is not present and once again not. You have to stock up with patience. Believe, you will not regret about several weeks or months of abstention. Why to risk? You can seem to the man an easy mark, and he the next day will lay out all details to friends in a gym locker room. Better let he becomes angry and thinks out new ways which will help it to tempt you on the following appointment, than will go to the following girl. Expectation will only strengthen his desire, and passion when you, at last, decide on sex, will be unsatiable.

We know that to postpone the sexual relations with the person who is pleasant to you, painfully, but think of the future.

Abstention is worth it. If you make everything correctly, then will be able to have sex with this man every night for the rest of the life. After a wedding!

you can object

that not against to have sex with the man on the first or second appointment - and to push luck even if then he will not call. Eventually both of you are adults and you decide destiny of the relations. We precisely know from experience that girls who declare something similar simply lie to themselves. At heart the woman will suffer if the man with whom she spent night does not call any more. Each woman wants that the man with whom she had sex continued the relations with it - of course if it really is pleasant to it (and we assume that women go to a bed only with those who really are pleasant to them). All our acquaintances who said that in a gap after sex there is nothing terrible very much worried when they appeared in a similar situation. Agreeing to sex on the second appointment, you do not know whether there will be your partner a gentleman or cattle. Girls of “Rules“ do not risk. They have to recognize properly the person before agreeing to sex with it.


Let`s say you waited the necessary time and are already ready to have sex with the man. To what “Rules“ to follow in a bed? In - the first (and this is important), remain emotionally quiet however we heat there was a sex. Actually most of women spoil the relations with men not the fact that too early agree to sex, and that speak about it in a bed too much. They try to use physical proximity for creation of emotional proximity, feeling of safety and confidence in the future. For God`s sake, wait sufficient time before beginning long stories about the requirements during sex or right after. Do not turn into the sergeant who demands from this or that recruit. You have to relax and allow the man to study your body as the unexplored territory. Believe, to you it will be cheerful, and you have satisfaction. Be with you in a bed it has to be easy and pleasant. Difficulties and requirements are not necessary. Do not use accessories - red lamps, the flavored candles - to enrich sexual impressions. If you cannot excite the man without them, so something not so. It has to be excited from one prospect to have with you sex.

Having a rest in a bed after excellent sex, you do not speak:

- you Want

, I will free in a case the shelf for your things?


- I put for you a toothbrush in a bathroom.

do not touch upon sacramental subjects - marriage, children, the joint future. It is not necessary to do it neither in a bed, nor out of it. You remember: they are your requirements, and “Rules“ urge us not to be egoists in the relations. The man does not want to lie near the woman overflowed with strong emotions at all. Women are more curious, they want to know everything.

- And now when we sleep together how our relations will develop? What does all event mean to you?

Though similar thoughts for certain crowd with

in your head and you terribly want to lay out to their man lying nearby, try to relax and not to think of anything.

do not take offense if this night or the next morning the man leaves. Be quiet. Do not worry from - about the fact that appointment ended. At such relation the man for certain will want to meet you again. Do not try to hold the man, suggesting to have breakfast together or bringing coffee with donuts directly in bed. If you offer it, then he for certain will run away to have breakfast into any coffee house. In the morning quietly go about the own business: brush the hair, you brush teeth, do exercises, you make coffee. For certain in such situation the man will begin to mass to you shoulders, will suggest to have sex or to go to some excellent place for a breakfast.

If you meet the man month - another and are not going to have with it sex, it will be fair to let it know. Otherwise you will just tease it. But what if you want sex much more, than to it? “Rules“ give us such answer to this question: you do not want problems - do not start talking about sex. When your relations become serious when you understand that he from you goes crazy, only then it will be possible to start talking about it are accidentally and for fun.

I, at last, have sex only with condoms. Do not give in on arrangements that it will be only just once. You remember: you can and have to take care of yourself.

From the book “Rules. How to marry the man of the dream“