Rus Articles Journal

As well as where to get acquainted with the man? What not to do on appointment of

the Beginning


Authors of the book of “Rule“ (The Rules) of Ellen Feyn and Sherry Schneider made revolution in America when demanded from women to forget once and for all about an initiative in the relations with men. Today - their answer to the most frequent questions of lonely women: how to get acquainted with the man and how to behave on the first appointment.

Rule № 1

Never exorcise

to the man of the first (and do not invite him to dance)

! Do not afford even “let`s drink coffee“ and “you often here are?“ . Do not afford even the most innocent phrases. Otherwise as you will understand whether he noticed you, whether it was struck in the heart or just decided to be polite?

We know that you think. We know, how wildly it sounds today. But, having studied all “Rules“, you will understand that in it there is a deep meaning. Eventually an essence of “Rules“ that to us never to achieve the desirable if we do not trust a natural order of things: the man has to pursue the woman.


to the man the first, we interfere with the course of things. Having begun conversation or having appointed meeting which it was not fated to happen, we lose chance of success. Otherwise the man would start talking to the girl who really was pleasant to him, and would not pay to you attention.

But we try to explain to

the behavior, going on to ourselves:“ He is simply timid “or“ I want to be friendly“. Whether really men are timid? We can deal with this question right now. Perhaps psychotherapists and consider, but we - that know that in the majority men are not timid at all. If they do not approach you, so you really do not interest them. It is difficult to accept it. It is difficult to wait for the necessary man - the one who the first will start talking to you, will call the first and will do all main work at the beginning of the relations only to catch you.

the aggressive behavior of women is very easy to explain

Today. Unlike former times when women met men on dances and special parties and just waited when someone chooses them from crowd and will begin conversation, today many women work as accountants, doctors, lawyers, dentists and hold the leading posts. They work with men, for men, and men work for them. Men are their patients and their clients. How to the woman not to exorcise the first?

of “Rule“ is taught that we addressed the men interesting us in the same way as any other clients, patients and colleagues however it is difficult was. We recognize: when the woman meets the man who really is pleasant to her, in her head as if the bulb flashes. Itself without understanding that, the woman relaxes, smiles and will see off with this man of time more, than follows. She suggests to discuss at dinner what can be discussed by phone. She hopes to begin the love story, and it - is natural! The cleverest women try to disguise the aspirations business reasons. To them it seems that they are too educated and talented to be passive, to play games or to conform to “Rules“. To them it seems that their diplomas and checks grant them the right more to work, but not to wait when phone rings out. We assure you, such women always remain with the broken heart because their straightforwardness pushes away. And why is not present? Men know what is wanted. Nobody has to speak to them when to have dinner.

is shorter than

if you meet the man on business matters, you need all the same to conform to “Rules“. You have to wait until he invites you to a lunch or somewhere still. As we will speak in the rule № 17, the man always has to conduct. Even if you earn as much how many and he, has to offer a lunch it. If you do not agree that you in the romantic relations of the man are not similar to women, despite equality professionally, you will behave as the man: the first to exorcise, ask a phone number, to invite to discuss something at supper in your apartment... All this pushes away men. Straightforwardness is very risky. Sometimes we face it at work. Most often this reception does not work, and the woman appears in emotional hell.

without accepting idea that it is the man has to pursue the woman, and not vice versa, women arise upon refusal and indifference - if not at once, then in the near future.

we Hope that the similar fate passes you, but nevertheless we will tell about our girlfriend.


is a stomatologist. She got acquainted with Robert a few years ago in college. She the first invited him to a lunch. She started talking to it the first. Later they became lovers and even lived together, but... she was never sure of the relations with it. Recently it broke up with her in some trifling occasion. Why? Robert never loved it. If Pam conformed to the rules, then would never start talking to Robert and would not initiate meetings. If she conforms to “Rules“, then would meet other person who really would love it. Also would not spend time for nothing. Girls of “Rules“ never lose time for nothing.

A here other example of the clever woman who violated “Rules“. Claudia - the successful broker on Wal - the street. She got acquainted with the future husband in a disco. Having noticed it, she danced near it the whole five minutes. When he did not decide to take the first step, she told herself that he, apparently, is timid, and... itself invited him to dance. Their relations were full of problems. Claudia often complains that in a bedroom the husband “is also timid“, as well as in that disco...

we Will talk about dances. Today it is accepted that women invite men to dance. And so: the similar behavior is contrary to “Rules“! If to the man to pass laziness through the room, to notice you and to invite to dance, then he is obviously not interested in you, and your invitation will not change its feelings (more precisely, absence of feelings) to you.

to It most likely will be flattered that you invited him, and he agreed to dance with you out of politeness. Perhaps, he will even want to have with you sex this night, but he will not go from you crazy.

He or did not notice you, or you made everything too simple. It had no opportunity to pursue you, and this fact will always influence your relations even if he also will invite you subsequently to appointment.

We know that you think: what to me now all evening to stand in a corner if nobody invites? Alas, the answer is unambiguous: several times come into a bathroom, correct a make-up, lipstick, powder a nose, order a water glass, be adjusted positively and... continue to walk on the room until somebody notices you. Call married girlfriends that they supported you. Do anything, only do not invite the man to dance! Dances are an optional entertainment. Perhaps, dances are pleasant to those who wants to have a good time and time. But you seek to find love and to marry. Therefore you cannot do that you want. You have to conform to “Rules“.

Even if to you it is boring and lonely, you should not invite the man to dance. Even do not get up near that man who is pleasant to you, in hope to receive the invitation (though many do quite so). You have to wait until someone notices you. Perhaps, you will leave home, without having received the invitation and without having met the man of the dream. But tell yourself that you conformed to “Rules“, and ahead there will always be other dances. Go home with self-respect: at least you did not violate “Rule“!

If it seems to you boring, remember: the alternative is much worse.

our girlfriend Sallie so was upset from - for what to dance it only “losers“ invite that eventually decided to violate “Rules“ which perfectly knew and to invite the most handsome man to dance. It was flattered, they danced all evening and spent together three evenings. “Perhaps and in “Rules“ there are exceptions!“ - with delight Sallie thought. However she had to be convinced of the return. Mr. Sovershenstvo appeared in the city for only several days, and on the Western coast it had a girlfriend. It is no wonder that that evening he invited nobody. Apparently, he came to a party only to have a good time, and at all not in search of future wife. Morals is as follows: do not guess why someone does not invite you to dance - to that there are always good reasons.

Unfortunately, more women, than men still come to dances. And women want to find “Only thing“. Their passion and alarm infect each other, and they the first start talking to men and invite them to dance. You have to convince yourself that from dances it is impossible to wait for anything. Consider dances as an excess occasion to put on high heels, to make a make-up and to communicate to pleasant people. Most likely someone from men will start talking to you at this or that moment. If it occurs, but it will not be pleasant to you, do not show it. Do not shine with mind and cynicism, you do not speak:

- Better I would stay at home and looked at “Zaynfeld`s Girls“.


to Men do not like the women who are adjusted negatively. If someone asks whether it is good to you, answer “yes“ and smile.

If it to you very much is not pleasant to

, do not go to dances. Stay at home, do exercises, watch TV and re-read “Rules“. It is better to stay at home and read “Rules“, than to go somewhere and to violate them.

Rule № 2

you do not stare at the man and you do not say too much

the View of the person is a sign of interest. So let he looks at you! If he does not look, so is not interested. Go further and find the one who will notice you.

are Known by you that there are seminars at which women learn to come into visual contact with the pleasant men? Save money. Visual contact is necessary to nobody. How to let the man know that you are interested? We just suggest to smile in anywhere, to look weakened and free. So you will draw attention of men, without looking at them. Do not look around in search of “Only thing“. The looking for look will force all men to turn away. In despair there is nothing attractive.

On the first appointment avoid romantic views of the man, otherwise he will understand that you already plan a honeymoon. If you look at the food, then consider visitors restaurant. Show interest life, other people, pictures on walls, but not the production. If you look too long and often in the face to the man, he will feel awkwardly.


yourself. Let the man seek to draw all evening your attention.

One of the most complex problems of any appointment - about what to tell

? About weather? About policy? To show intelligence or to seem the silly fellow? If you are clever, then keep calm and listen that is told by the man. Follow it. If he wants to talk about tantskluba, tell him what are pleasant to you and where you are. We do not suggest you to show levity. On the contrary! With you it has to be easy. At an opportunity show to the man that you it is aware of the latest events and that you have interests.

the First appointments - not the place for the story about work. In general it is not necessary to load the man the problems. But if it is serious, be not fond of jokes. Just go down stream.

It is natural, on any appointment there can be moments when both partners have nothing to tell. Do not feel obliged to fill a pause. You can tell something silly and compelled. Sometimes the man needs to keep silent, without a word. So mote it be. Perhaps he thinks of how one fine day to make you the proposal. Do not break his concentration.

do not consider

that you have to entertain it and constantly conduct interesting conversation. He will think that you too try. Just be yourself! You remember: the man falls in love with you, but not in what you tell.

he has to puzzle, as if tell something clever. It it has to ask you questions and think whether they will seem to you interesting. Besides, talkative women irritate most of men. We know the man who ceased to communicate with the woman who seemed to him physically attractive, from - for her garrulities. Do not appear on its place. You the woman, to you is pleasant to talk, especially about the relations. But bite a uvula! Wait until appointment comes to an end, and then you will be able to discuss and analyze several hours everything with girlfriends.

be quiet and serious

On appointment. Let the man guess that you think whether he was pleasant to you, whether managed to make good impression. He will consider you interesting and mysterious, not similar to those women which it met. And you also need it, truly?

Be continued.

From the book “Rules. How to marry the man of the dream“